It takes the absence of love to inspire you to love souls that are broken. I had people leave me, people who were never supposed to leave. I was loved like I was the only one who mattered, and I was killed when they left. I vowed to never do that to anyone I love. Sadly, that is exactly what I did. I took you in when you needed someone. On your good days and on your bad days, I would hug you and tell you I love you. If you were hurting again, I would just smile and tell you that you were loved and that you are stronger than your sickness. I would ask if you were taking care of yourself and ask how the pain was almost every morning. I would ask what your doctors have said, and ask if you were getting any better. I would make sure you knew that I would be there when you needed me. From ten, to thirteen, to twenty or more medications a day, I would be there to help you stay healthy. I saw your scars, you told me about the other ones, and I wanted to ease your pain. I would tell you that you don’t deserve the pain you caused yourself because you are absolutely spectacular. I told you over and over again that I wasn’t going to be like anyone else who left you before. I wanted to help you, protect you, and love you, not hurt you. I held you when you wanted to cry, because I know that is what I want some days. I pushed everyone else away when I knew the tears were coming because I know that you felt weak when other people saw you cry. I would pick you up and try to look in your eyes to hopefully calm you down. I would walk away when you were mad because sometimes we all need to be alone to figure some out. Sometimes, having people around makes things harder than they need to be. I would try and hold you back and hold your hands after you hurt them while punching things when you were sad and angry. I called to calm you down and remind you over and over again that you are unconditionally loved. I would take random calls and texts at any time, day or night. I would meet you at your favorite place, so we could talk or just sit in silence. I would call someone else for you or text someone to talk to you if I couldn’t be there for you. I made sure that you had someone there for you at all times. I would look at every piece of artwork you made and listen to you describe what it meant. I would smile because I knew you created something on paper rather than tell your story on your skin. I would stay up for hours after dark to create something for you because you liked it when you got art from someone else. I would stay up for hours talking to you to make sure that you were okay. The time was always worth it to so you smile in the end. At the end of the day, you’re flawed, you’re struggling, and lost, but that is perfectly okay. In the grand spectrum of things, the only thing that really matters is what we make. We could be killed by a meteor or sucked into a hell pit tomorrow, and I still wouldn’t want anything to happen to you. I’m here, even if you’re not. I love you more than anything. I hope that wherever you are people will understand you. Understand that some days, you can’t be touched because of the bruises. I hope they get that you need to be held back before you hit something because you will hurt yourself. I hope that they know to walk away when you cry, so you don’t feel weak and make things worse. I hope they sit with you and let you vent to them to help you feel better. I hope you are reminded that you are loved and that you are not a burden, and that you still have someone to love you when the nightmare is coming back. I for sure hope that someone creates something for you to make you feel special. At the end of the day, i hope you have someone to encourage you to go on. I am so sorry that this time the pain was so bad that you had to leave. I hope the scars on your body fades away. I know that you didn’t want your heart anymore, but you need it to be who you are. I know that you were happy again, just for a little while. I know that it scared you because when you get happy, life knocks you back down. I hope that someday you come home. I hope that someday I get to hug you again. I hope that someday you can be happy and not be scared of it. Please, stay safe, love. Wherever you happen to be, make sure you watch out for yourself. I’ll be here when you get back. I’ll sit in the tea shop and wait for you to walk in. I’ll sit in links and hope you walk in. I’ll sit with Jorge and hope you come to find him. I won’t try to hard to find you because you don’t want to be found. I know you will come home… someday.