My early years remained abided to an exemplary suburban lifestyle. The same occurrences at the same tick on the clock. Neighbor Steve walks the dog past neighbor Suzan, offering a short greeting and farewell. With that farewell there was my cue to head out the door to school, in which I waited for the bell to cue me to class.
I had remained mindless until I discovered my power to make decisions. In constant wondering why people acted the way they did, seemingly without a choice, I delicately tore at my bindings to experiment with my own personal boundaries.

My background has primed me to live an extraordinary life. I was blessed with a loving family, who provided a life my biological family couldn’t. My adoptive father, despite his passion for education and hankering for me to follow his footsteps into Yale University, still supported my passion for the arts.

I’ve danced for several years in San Diego’s largest theatre, The Civic Theatre, for the Annual Nutcracker showing. I’ve witnessed the grandiose view from the stage in Carnegie Hall as I performed with my choir. I took prestigious classes and indulged in expensive fine arts programs, but even with the superior experiences amongst my peers, I felt weak. As my passion fled, my curiosity for bigger things cultivated.

I’ve decided against my own desires. Volunteering in Cambodia meant my past two summers had to be spent away from my life in San Diego. Though I missed out on memories, I witnessed first handedly what true abundance looks like, from a country with little resources.

I’ve decided against my parents desires to satiate my own. I stopped caring about the things that made them happy, like my grades and habits. Though I wish I had dedicated more of my time to my future, I know that my productivity would not be placed in a place without passion. My erratic relationship with high school has shaped my flexibility and modern philosophy.

I quite my hobbies and started writing. Nothing creative, just observations of the strangers on the streets. My new introspective self scared my parents into sending me to therapy, where I was diagnosed with severe depression. I felt as though even my brain had control over me and the only way I could fight it off was through making impulsive decisions.

In finding my power to make my own decisions, I found the danger in freedom. I’ve failed many exams. On top of many other mistakes, I’ve fallen in love with a boy whose nearly killed me twice, three times if you consider heartbreak. Once getting us stranded in the middle of the desert by sinking my jeep into the deep depths of the sand. And twice by making another wrong turn, totaling my parents BMW and traumatizing me for life. Surprisingly, I don’t see myself as a fool for not regretting my weakness for him. There is a beauty in finding lost self-esteem when you can finally let go of the entity that was holding you down.Evaluating a person through a filter of forgiveness has taught me strength I wouldn't have been able to learn anywhere else.
We decide to neglect the importance of humanity. Behind every face is a lesson and a beautiful mind.