Internal Love Eternal | Teen Ink

Internal Love Eternal

October 26, 2015
By midnightmetanoia PLATINUM, Gaithersburg, Maryland
midnightmetanoia PLATINUM, Gaithersburg, Maryland
39 articles 0 photos 12 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Soon madness has worn you down. It’s easier to do what it says than argue. In this way, it takes over your mind. You no longer know where it ends and you begin. You believe anything it says. You do what it tells you, no matter how extreme or absurd. If it says you’re worthless, you agree. You plead for it to stop. You promise to behave. You are on your knees before it, and it laughs."
— Marya Hornbacher


Someday, somehow, I want to learn to love myself. I know that deep down I have the ability to do it. I am no stranger to love, I have been known to fall fast and to fall hard. I am consumed by my love for others, my desire to make them happy, to put a smile on their face, and make them see how wonderful they are. All this emotion and passion I contain, but not once have I fallen in love with myself. Sixteen years I’ve been alive, one hundred and ninety-eight months, eight hundred sixty-two weeks, and six thousand and thirty-five days. All this time I’ve been alive, and not a second of it has been spent loving myself. I’ve always been the kind of person who wants to save everyone, and I never gave my own needs a second thought. Until she said to me, “The only way you can save me is if you save yourself.” I need to begin to fight for myself, to battle against the contempt and disgust which I have harbored. This one-sided battle has gone on long enough, and now I know how desperately I need saving, and all I can do is to hope that it’s not too late.

I am going to learn to love myself.

I will love myself for and despite my flaws and imperfections.
I will find acceptance in my self-inflicted scars
and I will be sure not to add to their numbers.
I will find beauty in the curve of my hips
and in the soft flesh which spills across my waist.

I am going to learn to love myself.

I will find positivity in my mind and light in my dark soul.
I will find compassion in my heart
and direct it towards myself.
I will find value in my life
and be unable to count the many reasons to continue it

I am going to learn to love myself.

I will find a reason to smile at my reflection.
I will find confidence in my smile
and wear it as more than a mask.
I will find comfort in my appearance
this is who I am, and I am beautiful.

I am going to fall in love with myself.



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