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A Christmas of Triumph
The slow sway of the congregation, my family in Christ, and the deep, warm smell of vanilla was soothing. The dim lights and the magical music suffocated any and all thoughts that weren't praising God. Thoughts such as the fact that it was my first Christmas without my mom. Thankfully, it did nothing to hide the joy of being a newborn child of God.
Tragically, my mom had died a few months earlier due to her stubborn will and diabetes. After months of pain and suffering, God stitched up the bullet hole in my heart and gently taught me how to be happy again. Though I was healed, the thought of her goofy smile that we so rarely saw flashed through my mind like a lit up billboard, slightly adding a twinge of sorrow to the peaceful atmosphere of the night. Still, I rested in the fact that she was celebrating Christmas in Heaven.
Despite the sticky memories of my mom that evidently no one could shake off, love spurred our hearts to worship God. We were created to worship God, and at that moment, we were doing a pretty good job at it. The peace and awe that flooded our souls and coursed through our veins was unfathomable. Words fail substantially to describe the feeling of being in the presence of God. The only thing that made it better was experiencing it with my family. That, in itself, is quite amazing because this is my only memory with all of my family worshiping God together. Not one time that I can remember have all of my family been in the same place at the same time, giving glory to God. That we were doing it on a tranquil Christmas night to celebrate our Savior's birth was remarkable.
Though I have many amazing Christmas memories, this particular moment in time was, and still is, very dear to me in the way that it will always be stored deep down in my heart. Not only did it signify unity with family and God, but it expressed how anyone can find strength after death in the presence of God. My newborn faith in God taught me courageous peace on that fruitful Christmas Eve. And, without a second thought, I decided that God was the best present I could ever receive.
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Jesus Christ saved me from suicide and depression after my mom died. The least I can do is praise His mighty and matchless name for giving me the hope I needed to carry on.