Recently, I’ve wanted to be a mermaid. I want a long turquoise tail and matching hair suspended in the water, forming a cloud around my face, and the ability to breathe underwater. I know that’s odd-- what kind of normal teenaged girl still lives in her younger self’s fantasy?
The thing is, I never got that dream as a kid. I grew up on Cheburashka, Teletubbies, and cooking with Babushka. I never had Disney and Barbie, and the little girl obsession with them.

I think now, when I’m caught in my own head, I like to pretend I’m a kid, especially as of late. I’ve been struggling with depression and anxiety, both a result of PTSD, and the typical teenage angsts of discovering who I am and what I want to do with my life.

I want to dive into the deep blue depths of the ocean and never come up again, living out my life among sea creatures and the silent water. A person has got to dream every once and a while; at least, that’s my excuse.