This world is beginning to open up under me. All the dark places are coming to light and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared. My memories which I've worked hard to keep locked up and hidden are flying out of thier prisons. I'm dying in a thousand different ways and it's funny because it's both peaceful and chaotic.

I'm stuck to bits of paper all over this Earth. I'm drowning under a river, I'm sinking in the ocean. My body is at rest in the woods. My soul resides in autumn. Everything is falling apart and it's got to be the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. My life is closing in, collapsing, and even though I should be fighting to keep myself alive with both hands I can't. This destruction all around me is something I refuse to miss. It's my only chance at liberation. It's my only chance at being free.

I've been watching the clock evey day, every hour, every minute. I've been waiting for life to catch up with me. I've been anticipating a way that I can breathe again. This is the only way I know how. My only glimmer of hope has laid in the stars, in the moon, under the fallen leaves off trees. My only chance at happiness has hidden in flowers, and paper, and under the water. For one time I've reached something, the answer to the difficult equation that I've turned out to be. For one time only I've found the solution to a series of twisted lies and broken promises. It isn't death, but it isn't life either. It's nothing, it's everything. My heart and mind have been in love with the world since my first breath. I've always loved the trees that protect me, and the roads that thousands have been on. I've always been passionate about moving fast, and letting go of the bad things. My soul is in this world, it belongs and has always belonged here. My body, however, does not.

The old photographs have been bitter reminders. I pore over them sometimes, tracing the faces with my fingers, letting the memories fill me with a dull ache. For the longest time I've been stuck in the past while it plays on repeat. Meanwhile the present continues to move forward and my head doesn't have the time to notice it. I've been lost but somehow still feeling everthing. My head was hiding at the bottom of the sea while the thoughts and memroies continued to invade it. My heart was asleep in a cozy room while it felt all the hurt and anger from far away. No matter how lost pieces of me were I couldn't escape the pain that followed my every move.

My world is ripping at the seams. It's crashng and burning. If I wanted to I could do something about it. But I don't. There's something peaceful, something nice about watching it all fall down. You don't have to keep fighting, you don't have to exhaust yourself. You can watch and wait, and let all the bad things get buried underneath the wreckage. After it's over there will be nothing. Your prescense won't be there. Your thoughts won't prey on you. The world will build a place for you in the trees or at the bottom of a quiet lake.

As the world lets go of you, you let go of it, and I can think of no better way to be erased from this world.