I remember the summer of '09 as if it were yesterday. As a child, I was given custody to my grandmother when I was merely three weeks into life. My birth mom, who had gotten pregnant at seventeen with me, had not changed my diaper everyday. She fed me only if I cried, and I never really was much of a cry-er. She did not bathe me at all. She wiped me down with baby wipes for three whole weeks. She changed my clothes once every few days. As a baby, I had gastroesophageal reflux disease (Gastro reflux disease for short), also know as a bad case of infant acid reflux. I used to cough up everything my mum had fed me shortly after I had drank it. My mom used to leave me in a crib, and when I used to vomit, it went up my nose. I choked until the point where I couldn't breathe. My mom had to pat my back hard a few times, before my breathing eased. She merely placed me back in the crib after that for a nap. Selfish. Negligent. Ignorant. Horrid. All of the above. My aunt had witnessed it. So had my father. After that, my mom said my grandma had to take me or she would give me away to anyone who wouldn't refuse. I know I wasn't an easy baby, but she didn't even care enough to try.

She finally gave up, just in time, and gave up all rights as a mother to my grand mother. She was a 39 year old woman who was raising a young baby boy who was only 3 at the time.

My grandmother took me in without question or doubt, no matter what circumstances she had to deal with.

After 13 years, She raised a beautiful young girl. I have green eyes, curley brown hair and I am 5 foot 4 inches. I am not mentally stable though. I've been sent to three physchiatrical units for self-harm. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder a few years ago, but today, it gets worse.
I have many things to be upset with, none of those reasons having to be with my grandmother. I've to deal with bullying, mostly because I have a scar on my face from a cancerous thing that has been growing on my face since I was born, but also because of my self harm issues. It never feels good to get bullied. Bullying isn't my only issue. My parents and I have no contact. Two years ago, I had contact with them. They used me as a slave. They verbally abused me. Sometimes, even phsically. My mother would leave with her boyfriend for dinner, and leave me alone with 5 kids. I was 11. 3 kids were in diapers. 2 were demanding as all hell. When she got back, if the kids were not bathed, wearing clean diapers and clothes, fed and calmy watching T.V, My mother would scream the worst names at me. She would smack me and shove me around, and then send me off. On top of all the childcare, I had to clean every room in the house. Mop, Sweep, Dust, make beds. I was 11, and I was working harder than most mothers. It wasn't fair. I was doing all of this to win my mother's love. I finally built up the courage to tell my grandmother than I was being forced into intense child-care, housework and I would get verbally and physically abused if anything wasn't perfect. She cried for hours, and forbade that I ever spend anymore summers even near my mother. During the last 2 weeks of summer, I spent it with my dad. I loved it there. Well, sort of. My dad used to seclude himself in his bathroom and shoot up, or smoke pot, etc. Meanwhile, his girlfriend would stay with us in the living room, playing games, watching T.V, teaching us how to cook. I loved her. My dad would throw himself on the couch and watch T.V, ignoring us. When my dad wasn't stoned, we would beg him to take us to the beach, etc. And that he did. I was young, I had no clue he was doing such things.
Until one saturday.
My dad was in the bathroom, preparing a needle to inject himself with drugs. My dad forgot to lock his bathroom door, so I stormed in, having the unstoppable urge to urinate. My dad and I froze. He stared at me intently, the needle halfway through his skin, as he slowly pulls it out. I glance between the needle and his face a few times before I run out, crying to his girlfriend. After that, I was never allowed to see either of them again.

I have been traumatized. I know there are kids who suffer worse, which makes my insides shudder. It's sad. Don't have kids, unless you are ready. Please.