Spring Break 2011

Throughout the course of growing up, I grew to be strong. Being strong as in trying to go to sleep at night, restraining from suicidal thoughts, and finding all the ways to stop replaying what happened on the night of March 14, 2011, when my boyfriend, Jarami was gunned down right before my eyes.

I had been in a relationship with my boyfriend since my freshman year of high school. Before we dated I was friends with him a year before the relationship took place, which was in 2009. Jarami was the ideal boyfriend that did all the little things to make me smile. From taking me out to eat, to dedicating songs to me, and proposing months before he was killed. He was an up and coming rapper that was supposed to sign around March 15, the day after he passed. He never cussed in his lyrics, and he never degraded any women like rappers do today. He came from a wealthy family that took care of him. His father has been the comedian Steve Harvey’s manager for 18 years, and the make-up and hairstylist for the show “Family Feud”. His mom owns barber shops, and helps out the community on a daily basis. Jarami was a great Christian guy that died at the age of 20.

March 14, Jarami was shot in the shoulder with a .45 caliber that went through his lung, trachea, other lung, and out his 6th rib; which instantly killed him. The bullet was next to me as I seen it all happen. His friends put him in the back of the car as I drove to the USMD hospital in Arlington. As his friends ran for help inside the hospital, Jarami lay in my arms as I kissed him on his forehead, he was dead. We were then taken into a homicide detective unit just as they do on the first 48, and they questioned us. I picked the murderer out of the line-up that Thursday, although Jarami’s wake and funeral followed days later. I was traumatized when I came back to school from spring break because of what happened. Never ever will my life be the same again. I cried, cried, cried, and cried…I wanted to kill myself and not live this nightmare. I didn’t know why it happened to me, and why something so important was snatched out of my life. He was dead… There was nothing no one could do about it, and that’s when I truly had to have faith in Jesus Christ. I lost weight, my hair began to break off, panic attacks occurred, and my health was in danger. I didn’t care because I wanted to die. I didn’t see how life could continue without him. I was in complicated grief and I mourned everyday. I went to his grave site only to find his picture on top of where he lay. I lay right on the ground, and didn’t get up.

My faith remained the same. I began to call on God more and more as bad things continued to happen. I had to go to trial for a week which was April 9-13th, 2012, of my senior year. I had to testify against the killer…I didn’t give up because I knew God had a plan for me somehow, somewhere. I tried my hardest to focus on my schoolwork although that night would replay at the back of my head anytime I would do something. I got on my knees because I knew that’s the only way to go, and the only thing to do. I began to heal; I began to let go and let God. I began receiving blessings, focusing on college, and be the strong person God makes me out to be. Just know that God can heal you, but it takes time. Killing yourself is not the way to go because if you think where you are at is a bad place, wait until you kill yourself and hell is the only option. The Bible says in John 14:1-4, “Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also. And you know the way to where I’m going.” With this being said, any loved ones that have been lost are in heaven. Do not cry man can only touch the physical, but cannot the spirit. The spirit lives on…