How I've Changed | Teen Ink

How I've Changed

February 4, 2010
By M.S.S. GOLD, Lubbock, Texas
M.S.S. GOLD, Lubbock, Texas
11 articles 0 photos 46 comments

Favorite Quote:
"WACKADOO!!!" "You made a funny!" "Red Seven! Red Seven!! Red Seh-ven-a!!!" "Swaaaaag!!!!" "Ratchet" "God Said No" "God Said Yes"

I have changed a lot since my years before high school. In elementary, middle, junior high, and high school, I've been a chameleon. I've changed my personality, attitude and appearences countless times. I changed just to fit in. I kept asking myself, "Who am I?". Each different stage of school, I would hang out with a different crowd. I was so confused but kept hoping to find where I was supposed to be. As each stage came and went, I got closer to the answer to my question.

Elementary school is where I started out and where I thought I would never change how I was or acted. I was a good student when it came to grades, but otherwise I misbehaved continually and talked nonstop. I got so bad that I was even suspended for fighting in the 5th grade, which was my last year at that school and when I swore never to be bad again.

After I moved to my new school, middle school, I changed dramatically. I never talked in class and mostly stayed to myself. I didn't have as many friends at my new school as I did at my old school. But I had better friends that weren't a bad influence on me. I didn’t stop changing, however, because I went from a quiet girl to a punk rock kid and slob. This was when I got to Junior High. I didn't care about my appearance at all. I wasn't like other girls at the school; my mind didn't revolve around looks, fashion, or boys. All I wanted to do was have fun. I was what you call a rebellious child, a wild child. I loved the feeling and anxiety of the [possibility I could get caught sneaking out of the house, stealing, trashing people's property, or skipping school. Getting in trouble at school for standing on tables at lunch and desks during class. Still no matter how horrible I acted, I maintained high grades in all classes.

Unfortunately, even though I had lots of fun being on the wild side, a few bad incidents and being caught a few times, let me know it was time for another change. I was really starting to feel like a chameleon when I entered high school. My freshmen year, I was punk rock for the first two weeks, and then I changed to Average girl. Average girl was my favorite "color"; I blended in with everyone I came in contact with. I changed---I was able to talk to people more and wasn't so shy. I was able to be myself and gain more friends. I still didn't pay any attention to looks, fashion, or boys until close to the end of freshmen year. I saw other girls wearing make-up, dating, and wearing clothes that actually fit and matched. A feeling arose inside of me, and I knew I was in for another change. But one thing that remained the same during my freshmen year was my grades they were as great as they were in elementary, middle, and junior high school.

My sophomore year I came back with a whole new appearance. Over the summer I learned a few tips on hair, make-up, fashion, and guys. I actually looked pretty and I had gained a little self-esteem. And I finally wore clothes that fit, matched, and still was comfortable to me. Even though I changed my appearance and had fashion sense, I was still the Average girl. Also what remained the same were my grades: I would never let them go below a B+. However, I still had one small change before I received the answer to my question that I had been asking the past five years.

My junior year I had finally completed the long road of changes to the person I am today. My problem was I had no self-esteem and didn't care about myself. I got rid of my shyness and got self-esteem and nerve. Now I know everything inside and out about fashion, make-up, and guys. Then I noticed how much I've changed and only one thing about me has stayed the same throughout the entire search of my answer: my grades. They haven't changed once---except for getting better. So after that long search, I've found the answer to my question "Who am I?". The answer is, me---I am who I am. I’ve found where I belonged and that is in school surrounded by friends that care about me no matter what stupid things I do. And I don’t have to change to fit in I can just be myself. No more changing just going to be my optimistic, spontaneous, comical, random self. There’s no need for change I love who I am. So since there is no need for change, I’m not a chameleon anymore---I’m just a lizard.

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