Crushing excitement | Teen Ink

Crushing excitement

June 9, 2022
By Anonymous

I couldn’t stop thinking about it all night.  It was all I could think about.  Thoughts overwhelmed my head about how nervous I was..  I tossed and turned and thought all night in my cozy bed.   

Finally it’s morning.  

I spring awake and quickly snatch off my phone on top of the messy covers and quickly peak at the time 8:30 am. I barely  read as I swivel up to sit in my bed.  I rush to get up and speed to the bathroom (Obviously I have to shower).  Everything has to look perfect today.  Everything.  I’ll shave my legs until there’s not a single hair and drown my hair soap.

After my sped run shower, I push my hand muscles aggressively against my toothbrush to my teeth filled with that minty white paste.  I throw my pajamas right back on and throw my phone into whatever pocket. “I’m ready to go!.” I say to my mom in a sharp loud tone. “Alright.” Says my mom., I see my mom just walking to the car as I’m already buckled in. “I’m so nervous.  What’s going to happen today?  Will my dancing be good? Will I be the center of attention? Well why wouldn’t I, everyone’s jealous that I can be myself.  Who cares if my dancing looks bad as long as I’m having fun.” I say trying to give myself a confidence boost.

“ It’s so organized and pretty here..”I think to myself as I walk into the salon.  The lady asks me some questions.  “How do you want it to look?” , “What does your dress look like?”, etc.  and starts doing my makeup.  I wait in anticipation.  I shake my legs and hands slightly.  I’m so excited for the end results.  I wait and wait.  It seems like forever but you can’t rush perfection. 

 .. My face looks so pretty.  My bright hazel eyes are complimented by my sparkly purple eyeshadow.  My cheeks, defined and rosy,  My lips covered in pink lipstick outlining my pretty smile.  I’m gorgeous.  I never wanna take this makeup off.  Why would I? It’s beautiful.  My gentle but defined features will match my dress and fit me, it IS me.  The friendly lady compliments me, “You’re very pretty.” She’s proud of the end result.  She did amazingly, I wouldn’t blame her for being proud.  My mom smiles at me and she seems to love the makeup too.  I then get the direction to move to this other chair so my hair could be done.  This time there’s a different lady.  She starts by asking me “How would you like your hair?”, but to be honest I don’t really know myself. “Mmm I don’t know, I want it wavy and I want it to look more full.. I guess” I said unsurely.  She then gets to work.  I love the feeling of  fingers running through my hair, it feels so nice and relaxing.  The lady from earlier comes to fix up my makeup while the other one finishes teasing my hair. 


 IT’S DONE.. I  see myself in the mirror.  Wow, I’m gorgeous.  I look like a work of art.  I look like a beautiful celebrity that everyone would love.  I’m perfect.  Pleased with the results, my mom goes up to pay.  I don’t know how expensive it is but I wish I could give them a big tip for doing so well and being so friendly.  My mom then drives me  to a nail place nearby and I get my toes and fingers painted. 


Back home I grab my dress and my other things before heading outside again.

Rei’s mom pulls into the driveway and I hop in the back seat. 

We hung out for what felt like a long time as Rei did the other girls’ makeup.  The two other girls I haven’t talked to a lot but they’re really chill.  I talked to one of them a little bit at school since she and Rei are in my history class, but I wasn’t sure if she liked me that much.  We go out to eat at a seafood buffet restaurant but I know I don’t like seafood, so I just eat the chicken tenders and french fries.  We all meet our friend Hope here and eat together.  Out of everyone here, I realize I get along with Hope the most.

  Recently I started sitting by her in ceramics so I know her a bit better, she’s real sweet.  Me and Hope step outside the restaurant while the other two girls finish their food. “Hey umm… What do I do about Rei?!” She asks excitedly.. I completely forgot she had feelings for Rei, she had told me a few days before. I nervously say “I’m not sure.. Maybe you could try to kiss her or ask if she has feelings for you.” I felt a bit embarrassed that I forgot.  Me and her excitedly talked to each other. “You look like you're a drunk party girl.” She says as I laugh and struggle to stand in my heels.  The sky is dark and the cool air gives me a relaxed feeling.  I feel like tonights going to be great.

Finally we’re here, we’re arrived.  I jumped up and down and exclaimed to my friends “I’m so excited but nervous”, I kept repeating as I bounced every part of my body in the short line of people. 

I look around at all the beautifully dressed students as the line slowly gets longer.  There’s not a lot of people yet. But when I walk in, I notice there’s two separate dance areas.  I alternate back and forth between where my friends are and where the music is as the time passes by.  I’m having so much fun I keep saying to myself as I continue to dance the night away.  The smile and laughter from my face lasts until my cheeks start to hurt. 

I then walk to the dance floor and dance on my own. Later on, I finally make it to the middle, everyone crowded around me.  “What’s happening?” I asked myself.  Everyone starts cheering me on.  Everyone in the circle hyped me up.  I love dancing.  I do the best I can to  slow down and take breathing breaks. I run out once in a while to get some water in one of those tiny plastic cups.(provided by the school) I dance with the other students and scream the lyrics to every song until my lungs hurt.  Nothing could ever ruin this moment..

Near the end… this random guy in the circle comes up and stops me from dancing.  He points at me and motions me to come over to him.  He says; “There’s some people who belong in dance circles.. And you're not one of them.” 

 I start shaking, my happiness crushed by those words.  My anxiety took over every happy emotion, every joint in my body. I was now crying really hard, embarrassed, I covered my face and try to find a way out of the crowd. My night is ruined.  My pretty makeup subtly drips down as tears roll down my face.  My gorgeousness, my happiness, all the time I took to make sure I had a great time, crushed,   The room looks blurry, I can barely stand.  Everyone's eyes pointed at me, people laughing, some shaking their heads, some agreeing.   I feel stuck. I looked around, panicked and  I finally escaped and ran out of the circle.  “Don’t listen to him, you were just having fun.” Multiple people say this to me.  

I dance off to the side trying to continue the fun I was originally having.   Through the embarrassment I know I’m pretty, I know I’m doing nothing wrong, even so that anxiety sticks with me through the rest of the dance.  Even as I’m dancing the night away, that feeling isn’t going away.  Once it’s all over I go home and lay in my bed.  I’m overwhelmed with joy, but I feel torn.. “Was I really that embarrassing…?”  I question myself throughout the whole night and finally pass out in my bed.

The author's comments:

I wrote this for my creative writing class and thought it was an interesting memory to talk about.

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