A follower, a no one, just sitting back and living life to the fullest, I’d say if someone asked me what I am. Turn my head and walk away, never myself,  just someone people wanted me to be. Sacrificing myself  for others happiness. The only thing I was good at, was being a ragdoll, letting people beat me up to bring themselves higher. I thought I was helping, letting  people take their anger out, be the bigger person, be better, than me. They were my choices, my life, my heart broken over and over again. Still no one knows or sees who I am, all they see is just a kid. They never get to see the real me, kind, caring, full of happiness. But  to make sense of  it, no one ever wanted  to.

Growing up was a struggle, parents said they love and care. They never did in my mind, they just yelled and made fun of me. Only worried about themselves, and making sure that I would get out, when I turned 18.  To my parents,  my grades weren't good enough, I wasn't good enough at anything athletic. It was one of the worst lives that a kid could have at home. Then, also, having school the next day, and dealing with bullies, was just hard to contain all the  anger for a kid, but I did.
Then the deaths, just what I wanted in my life, more problems. More than anyone could handle. To be honest I don't know how I did it, after my grandma passed I was heartbroken. The one single person, that I look forward to seeing every day. Picking me up from school, in her pearly white minivan, outside the front door of the main office. With Reese's, and chocolate milk, waiting there for me patiently. Just vanished before my eyes. With no goodbyes, no 'I love you’s', no nothing. That can take even the strongest person to their knees. It took me for ever to get over that,then once I could  get up from all of that stuff, it put me right back down. The summer of eleventh grade I was told the worst thing in my life “Uncle Carl died.” My only real uncle, the one and  only sibling of my dad. It drove me into a place of no return, a place where you question why you’re even here. Why don't you just end it? you ask yourself. There is no point anymore, no one could care less about you. 
That’s when I noticed something. My drive, my dedication towards my life and sports changed. I needed a purpose for my drive. So I looked back and used my family’s deaths, It didn’t work. The anger  that I had towards people, didn't work. So I stopped, then told myself that I was right, I really have no purpose of being here anymore.
"What do you want to go to college for?"My girlfriends dad questioned me
"I'd like to be an architect" I proudly stated
"You sure about that? Some of the people I worked with are majored in architecture and they couldn't get good jobs. So the switched to car design."
"Oh" I said surprisingly." Didn't know that there isn't many jobs for it."    
"Yeah, if I were you I'd switch to automobile design. There are lots of jobs and you make a lot of money at the start." He told me with high hopes of changing my mind, but all it did was create doubt, and thinking that I could never be good enough at being an architect.
This past summer, one day  at soccer conditioning one of my 'friends' was talking to me about a player on my impact team. He wasn't very good, everybody knows that he's not, and he thinks he's really good.
"Did you know Aaron wants  to be in the MLS?"
"Yeah. He could never make it." I claimed
"He's stupid! Not even anyone here could go to the MLS if they even wanted to!"
"You really think that?"
"Yes, no one is that good here at Clarkston. I'm pretty sure that not even a quarter of the people here are going to play in college" he stated. "You do think you can go to the MLS right?"
"I've always wanted to."
"Yeah…. right.” He told me, as if he was denying my dreams like could tell my future. "You could never make it there." Messing with my emotions, and never actually caring about me. Throwing them around like a ball, more and more every day. 
The beginning of the school year  I ‘change’ to be myself. “Hey! What happened to you?”, “Why are you being such a di*k?!”, people claiming that I’ve actually changed, but in reality, I was being me. Just showing the people who really didn’t care that I didn’t care about them anymore.
That's when it would hit me, from my highs and lows, I learned. I picked up little, by little. When I want something I'll do it, when they  tossed my dreams around, I'll chose to pursue them , to show them that I am who I say, I am. To be who I want to be when I grow up. To never let bad times bring me down forever, just power thru them, to  opened a whole new world that I can create and make my own choices. So when they make fun of me I can laugh, because they're wasting  their time making fun of me, while I'm training for my future years to come.