It honestly doesn't matter how amazing of a day I have or what is happening in that moment, if he walks by my mind can't focus and there is no other word to describe myself other than just sad. Not depressed, just sad. Thinking about him and the way he talked or the way he moved his fingers when he held my hand or even the way he kissed me with such passion and love... it makes me feel stupid. Stupid that I never appreciated this when it was happening and stupid that I'm even sad about it. I'm the one who pushed him away and ended us so I have no right to be constantly sad acting like my heart is broken. But it's hard not to because it is broken, but he's not the one who broke it. I did. I did this to myself. I broke my own heart.