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Fallen but Never Forgotten
I look down at my phone and see this....
New Message: Chasey
chasey: “Wat did I do :-(,” she said as if she was sad.
me: “fell for it!!” I replied furiously.
chasey: “wat is that supposed to mean!” She curiously replied back.
me: “YOU CHOOSE SIENA INSTEAD OF MEEE.” As I shrieked at the phone.
chasey: “ you don’t understand,”
me: “watever chase I am done, have a good summer.” I replied as if I had never wanted to see her again.
chasey: “fine dont ever talk to me again!”
me: “ok...”
At that very moment I felt like I had just won a grammy or something,. I was finally over someone who had put me through so much pain. I was so happy I yelled at the top of my lungs. But I didn’t realize I had just lost someone who meant the world to me.
That summer I had no friends because of the way I acted towards every single one of them. The only friends I had were my parents. They guided me through the ups and downs, but my friends were my everything, so I felt like I had just lost everything that meant anything to me. Chase really affected my life because I would do everything fun with her. For example, we played barbies, babies, and did everything together. From that point on I didn’t have anything to do with her, which made me feel like a terrible person. What tore me apart was that the reason Chase and I had fallen apart was over jealousy.
In 6th grade , Chase, Siena, and I were the best of friends. Each day the three of us would walk in the lunchroom with are heads up high. As if we were the queens of the school, walking to the finest table in the castle. We always would exclude everybody. Each day I would also get excluded.
One day I saw Chase and Siena walking and not talking to me at all. As I see them walk past me ,glaring at me, I think to myself, Did I do something wrong? Maybe they are talking about me.That was not a good feeling at all. I went home that day feeling terrible.
“Mom!” I scream.
“What?” she said
“Chase and Siena weren't talking me today. Did I do something wrong?” I cluelessly asked her.
“I don't know, but its seems like Siena has been trying to steal chase away from you.” She replied back to me.
“Well it does kind of does seem like that. “ I said shaking my head
“well that might of been why they weren't talking to you.”
“yeah.” I agreed as I walked away.
At that moment I felt that I had to win Chase back by doing whatever it took. I even bought her a 50 dollar birthday present, but she still was all over Siena. Seeing this everyday was heartbreaking , especially the fact that I couldn't do anything to stop losing Chase. I sat with my other friends Audre, Asiya, and Cassie. I tried getting over it a lot of times ,but it really bothered me. It felt as if I had lost my best friend, my other half ,and the girl I did almost everything with.
One day I was freaking out and going off on chase telling her how much I had had enough of it . I was done with playing games. I told her to pick between Siena and I, but she didn’t choose either of us because it wasn’t right. This made me feel like she didn’t want to be my friend anymore. That’s when I told her, “Have a good summer.”
As the first year went by, I felt so bad that I kind of went through a depression stage. I dwelled on the past so much that I ended up with no friends. Until I met my best friend, Sarah. I didnt like her at first till I gave her a chance. She made me feel like I was important again, like I hadn’t lost every one of my friends. She gave me the reason to still enjoy life. She also made me realize that living life without one of the people that made me so happy wasn’t as hard as it looked. The most important thing she taught me was being jealous of one of your best friends other best friends wasn’t worth losing them.
It was a day when Siena and her were sitting all by themselves that I went over and listened to their conversation.
“You can go sit with them sarah. its okay. “ siena said in sadness and regret.
“Well I don't want to leave you .” sarah replied back
“Its okay sarah. JUST GO! .”Siena Mumbled as she broke into tears.
Thats when I decided to join in.
“Siena I am sorry. But you have to realize this is how I felt with chase . “
She just sat there in her tears.
Sarah and I both give her space and went to go sit with Audre. After that there was no separating us. She told me everything about her past ,and I told her about Chase.
And to this day, 2012, I will never forget or forgive myself for being a bad friend,and losing an important part of my life over jealousy. Thanks to this very experience, I finally know how to treat a friend. In result of everything I have learned to be a better friend by not treating them like they aren’t worth anything, for I know how that feels. Trust me.
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