A dead body. Lying in front of me. It wasn't just any dead body, it was my best friend's.

Remembering all those moments and memories wasn't hard. The memory of free donuts every sunday morning, or even going to the dump after freshly mowing. Sometimes even just walking home from school and a friendly hello was always needed. It all felt like nothing once I was there. Roses redder than my face, pictures as old as time, and sadness like a long thunderstorm.

“Don’t cry everything's gonna be alright.” my mom said. But it never was gonna be the same. He was that apart of my life I couldn't release.

My legs were like jell-o and my face burned like fire. The nervous butterflies came hurdling in. He’s not really gone…. I repeated. He’s not really gone.

After the service I was about to walk away as my grandma stopped me.

“We made sure the letter you wrote him was placed in his hands, we may not know what’s in the letter but we know it means a lot”

I cried. I felt like collapsing. I tried to fight back the tears but they wept out of me like a salty river. Life wasn’t ever gonna be the same. The loving feeling left, and in krept the anger. He is gone….  I repeated. He’s really gone.

We got to the funeral sight slowly but surely. Everyone gathered around as the pastor started to speak. I tried to listen but my mind couldn’t process it just yet. I grabbed a rose from the casket and stared down at it.

“Beautiful flower for a beautiful angel.” I repeated for one last time.