I didn't know what I was going to write about until....12:10 a.m.  It's the night before this piece of writing is due.  I'm still not sure how it's going to make any human sense because I'm writing it this late.  Let's see how this goes. (listening to Jason Aldean My Kinda Party)

I usually don't like to hand in pieces of writing that I write as myself and this isn't fictional so I'm not that comfortable wish an actual person reading it.  But hey! Stepping outside of your comfort zone is good for you!  So, yeah!  This is part story, part something that this story made me realize but mostly it's just random ramblings of a tired mind.  It's probably not going to make sense but who said that everything had to make sense! Nonsensical things are sometimes the most amazing things in the world.  For example love makes absolutely no sense!

Right now I am single (not that it's important) but I still have feelings for him (I can't tell a story and tell names....sorry). We decided that a relationship would get in the way of stuff we are supposed to be doing. This stuff includes homework, evangelism we were doing at school and our own personal relationships with Christ. We had been dating before we decided this so basically we broke up.  It's been hard because we still have feelings for each other and they seem to be blossoming even though we aren't together anymore so yeah....we've been working on it.  I guess we could have completely broken all bonds from each other but while we were dating we weren't only just a couple we were best friends. Breaking all ties to each other would've hurt.  Well all of this is not really connected to the story just some filler and back story.  (now listening to Hard to Love by Lee Brice)(1:07 a.m.)

Earlier today, actually it was after youth group, I wanted to call him up because I wanted to tell him about an idea I had for mission at our school. So, I was sitting at our kitchen counter reading a letter I got from Mary Washington University. I was waiting until after my two youngest siblings were in bed to call. It ended up being aroun 8:30 and finally I called and we started to talk about mission ideas for our school. Then we had a lull in the conversation and he started apoligizing for some really minor stuff. I tried to tell him that it was ok but then he said that I shouldn't waste my time with someone like him! I just wasn't ok with how this conversation was going. So then our conversation went kind of like this...

I started out by saying that I chose to spend time with him and I chose to be his friend. He said that he didn't deserve it. I told him that he was like a diamond and he laughed at me. I almost hung up because I thought to myself, "He just isn't going to listen!" However, I didn't hang up and I'm extremely glad that I didn't. If I had I wouldn't have realized something.  If I had I wouldn't have realized something. This something is something that I think helped me more than it helped him. I said that he was like a raw diamond just extracted from the earth. These raw diamonds look like simple quartz crystals before they are polished. The jeweler doesn’t know how each raw, unpolished diamond will turn out but he polishes them all anyways. After the jeweler polishes he discards of the bad diamond and shapes the diamonds of good quality. He carves smooth flat facets onto the surface and finally insets the diamond into a piece of jewelry. God is like that jeweler. The only differences are he knows how we’ll all turn out and he never throws any of the bad diamonds away. You know why? We’re all bad diamonds. We all have major flaws and ‘cracks’ on our surfaces but God overlooks those any puts us into the jewelry anyways.

The jewelry that God makes is unlike anything we could ever imagine. We all have a place in the intricate, ornate, dazzling plan/necklace that he has been fabricating before the beginnings of time. It’s absolutely amazing to think about! We each have a spot in it and none of us will be discarded. God sees us each as beautiful and important. He loves each of us and our sins, flaws, issues don’t faze him in the slightest. For example Romans 3:23 says, “For we have all fallen short of the glory of God.” This means that we have all sinned and fallen short of the standards that God has set for us. None of us are worthy of the gift that was given to us. This verse shows absolutely no hope. But there is hope. Romans 10:13 says, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” This means that ANYONE who calls to God and asks for forgiveness can be saved! This is incredible and almost unfathomable...It just blows me away.

So that is basically what I told him. He just thanked me for talking to him and we bantered back and forwards for a little while before we had to hang up. Then I grabbed my backpack and headed upstairs. My youngest sister asked me to read her the story of “Little Riding Hood” and I did. She fell asleep after the first page so I went and took a shower. After my shower I got dressed in my pj’s and went to go to bed. I got an itching feeling that I was forgetting to do something and then I realized that I had to bring in 3-5 pages of original writing for class. By then it was really late so I thought that I would just edit an old piece of writing and bring that in. Then I got this idea so I started to write at 12:10 a.m. and now it’s 1:47 a.m.
    

So last night/tonight really drained me. The only good part was the fact that I made up the jeweler illustration. I think that if I ever got to teach a youth group session I’d do it on “The Great Jeweler”. That would be pretty interesting I think. Well now I’m drained and I will just start writing nonsense if I continue so….goodnight!

P.S. Another good thing that happened tonight after youth group was actually, basically the whole conversation with him. Even if he wasn’t picking up what I was throwing down I can always bring it up with him again.