Love yourself – Is your self-relationship toxic? | Teen Ink

Love yourself – Is your self-relationship toxic?

August 1, 2021
By Lishal-Z SILVER, Dubai, Other
Lishal-Z SILVER, Dubai, Other
9 articles 0 photos 0 comments

According to the Oxford Learner’s Dictionary, a relationship is defined as “the way in which two people, groups, or countries behave toward each other or deal with each other”. Seems very fragile, isn’t it? We have all grown up watching movies and believe it or not, a lot of them revolve around the very idea of relationships; with family, friends, enemies – the list goes on! But perhaps the most underrated one that even the best movie couldn’t ever capture has to be your self-relationship.


Yes, you read that right. The very way in which you treat yourself, your body, your thoughts, and emotions and even your appearance. It all comes under this umbrella term of omnipotent themes. Your self-relationship is arguably the most important one you will ever encounter. It defines your capabilities and quirks as an individual, everything that makes you special. This prestigious power lies within our hands, for us to nurture in our own unique way and imbibe in all our doings. Unfortunately, we are also notoriously known as our biggest critics.


Like every other relationship, your self-relationship has the tendency to become toxic – perhaps even quicker than the others, and this is bothersome. We live in a materialistic world where high standards are defined by false facades. Social media has influenced it in such a way that we begin to doubt the norm, comparing our lives with the unrealistically perfect ones of others – as portrayed on the screen, of course. We set ourselves standards and expectations to meet, perhaps people to please. This is toxic.


It leads to self-doubt, feeling worthless, empty ultimately spiraling into anxiety, depression and self-harm. You begin to see yourself as the lowest of them all, that you aren’t even worth it, perhaps even end it all. You see yourself as too skinny, too chubby, incapable, unworthy, unwanted – stop.


Dear reader, you are special, don’t you know that? If you were given a life to celebrate, then why waste it crying over false realities? Why worry over something or someone who isn’t you? Don’t you know that we love you for being you and not another impersonation?
Self-relationships are fragile and receptive to being toxic, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be mended.


Be kind to yourself. The proverb goes to say, “Treat others the way you want to be treated”; you are an individual too. “Treat yourself better, just the way you have always wanted to be treated”. Begin by complementing yourself, looking into the mirror (Try doing it with a straight face!) and have a good laugh. Practice quality self-care, be it me-time, exercising, meditation or mindful eating – treat your body kinder and you will learn to love and accept yourself.


Resign from the self-judge post you currently hold. You are perhaps the most experienced judge out there, judging yourself and making assumptions, setting yourself standards that are hard to match. Resign and become an open-minded person – you will genuinely see the impact it has on your behavior. Practice kindness and be more mindful of the way you may think of yourself. Those imperfections are what makes you human, what really make you who you are.


Be humble, grateful, and happy. Just know that your friends long to be with who you are, not the complements you get. Your mentors and parents long to see you happy and healthy. They worry for you because they care for you. We must learn to realize that, and when we do, we will be grateful for all that we are.

So, are you in a toxic relationship with yourself?


The author's comments:

Lishal is a high school student who is passionate about the world that is her blank canvas that has widened her perception of the world she lives in and its endless possibilities. She is an amateur poet, ardent debater, an aspiring Author and an experienced Public Speaker, who founded "Rhetoric Thoughts", a small initiative to instill the love for public speaking.

This opinion article about one's mental health and self-love was aimed at kindling the spark of self-acceptance in a judgemental society. Lishal urges to invoke a new message of self-relationships and toxic ones through this peice that is bound to leave you pondering.


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