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Feedback on "(she says)"
Michelle Ludwig's short story, "The Train That Runs On Time," is written as a play. On a train to the Hoover Dam, an older man named Horace meets Petula, a woman who acts like she's no older than eight years. The story seems kind of silly for a while, but the conclusion pulls the subtle mentions together well. You'll some of this foreshadowing if you're not paying attention. I had to read the play twice.
I like how the author chose to present the information in a way that adds to the idea that there's something off about that train. The newsboy emerges with another insignificant story every few minutes, and the other passengers, saving Horace, don't seem to mind. In addition to perception, time is also greatly distorted. I also appreciate the idea that Horace is probably to blame for all of this strange activity, since his pocket watch seems to control time, and he warns Petula that trusting him is a dangerous mistake (and, SPOILER ALERT: it is).
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