The Havertown Senior Citizens Association (HSCA) hosted a fun-filled day for the grey-haired at their local community center. The man responsible for renting the property was a proud member of the [HSCA]. However, due to his current condition, he was not able to remember to send the rent money to the center owner, so the event was hosted outdoors, behind the nearby “Havertown Hearts” Rehabilitation Center. Every year when the event is hosted, the most prestigious award is handed to the winner of the Senior Citizens 100-Meter Dash. This year’s race was a tough one for the athletes participating in the 100 meter dash. A few minutes before the race started, a cool wind came in and brought with it a cold drizzle. The Association had not prepared a rain date because they planned to be in the community center. They decided to continue the event in the rain, because the dash was the closing race before everyone went back to the nursing homes.

As the starter blew the whistle and called “Get set!”, the four racers took their positions, slowly. The following gunshot was heard throughout the back of the rehab center just before the four runners began their jogging in a steady pace. Then, without warning, the runner in the third lane began to pick up speed as others cheered him on. Some in the sidelines, watched in amazement as he passed the other the three runners without much effort. He ran past the finish ribbon and continued to the entrance of the rehab center. Later our witnessing reporter interviewed the man that came in first, Robert Perkins Junior. He says that the secret to his racing success was “a few bran muffins before leaving home” as he exits the restroom.