Graffiti heart | Teen Ink

Graffiti heart

May 11, 2011
By TheSilverLaurel GOLD, Goole, Other
TheSilverLaurel GOLD, Goole, Other
13 articles 0 photos 70 comments

The room fills with the soft light of the sunrise as I lay, gazing into the beautiful display of colours, stretching it’s long fingers across the clear bluebell sky. I smile to myself, then frown. I have the strange feeling something bad was going to happen today. Something that was going to change my life forever.
I race downstairs, fully dressed, as Mum calls my name.
“These were just delivered for you,” she hold a bouquet out toward me.
I take the flowers from her. A breathtaking array of scarlet blossoms, brilliant white lilies and dramatic black roses. But who could have sent them?
I arrange them into a burgundy vase. I study the flora one last time before reading the card.
‘Check your school bag.’
I gawped dumbly at the scrawl. It seemed such a strange thing to write.
Curious, I pull the bag from the cupboard. Unzipping the fabric, I rummage through the books and revision sheets until I find a small card, with the image of a graffiti-style heart, like the one that had come with the bouquet.
‘Find the third heart.’
It doesn’t make sense.
“Monique!” Mum calls my name again. But this time, she doesn’t sound happy.
I find her in the kitchen. She glares at me and points to the wall. “Would you like to explain?”
I follow her gaze to find a heart, like the one on the cards, had been painted over the plaster.
“I didn’t do it!” I stammered. I turned to find I was alone.
I wandered into the hall, calling. “Mum? Mum? Mum!?”
A shrill scream echoed through the unadorned building.
I race through, frantically searching each room.
I found my mother’s body, laid across her bed, the graffiti heart slashed into the skin of her stomach, the crimson blood soaking hurriedly into her shirt.
Before a scream has the chance to pass my lips, a hand clamps over my mouth, something metallic buried between my shoulder blades.
“Scream, and I’ll shoot,” a voice hissed down my ear. The hand moved from my mouth, and skilfully fastened my hands behind my back.
I find myself being fastened, blindfolded, into the back of a car.
After what felt like hours of a roaring engine, I am dragged into the cold fresh air. The thick fabric covering my eyes slips, the scarlet light of sunset blinding me.
I look around to find myself in the last place you would ever want to be in at a time like this. The blood-red rays spill over the graves, into the freshly-dug hole at my feet.
“Get in, Monique,” a voice demanded. Then I realised how I knew the voice.
“Ben?” I turn to see him, the boy who sits next me in almost every class, thanks to the non-imaginative alphabetical boy-girl seating plans. Much to my embarrassment, he’d asked me out a week ago, in the middle of English.
As much as I like Ben, I was already seeing someone. If I hadn’t, I would have considered it. But he completely zoned out, a million miles away, as I tried to explain.
“Get in,” he snarls through his teeth. He shoves at my shoulder with the butt of his gun.
I glance down the hole. Already fitted with a coffin, the earth’s wound seems as uninviting as the barrel pressing against my chest.
“What are you doing?” my voice quivers.
He looks up at me, his puppy-dog eyes drowned in sadness. “You said no.”
I fall into the grave as the bullet tears through my chest.

I stand behind Ben he positions my bouquet of scarlet blossoms, brilliant white lilies and dramatic black roses on my nameless grave. The graffiti heart was engraved where my name should have been.
I reach towards him as he stands. My hand, pale and transparent, doesn’t materialize through his body as I expect it to.
He chuckles. “Your grave’s beside mine.”
Dumbfounded, I glance across at the mossy, weathered headstone. ‘Benjamin Rudnick.’
Ben wraps his arms around mine. Gently tucking a lily behind my ear, he whispers, his voice lost in the wind.
“Now you can’t say no.”
I bury my face in his shoulder, and all I can see in the darkness of the twilight is my ever-haunting graffiti heart.

The author's comments:
I don't know where this came from, I just made it up as I went along.

Similar Articles


This article has 30 comments.

on Jul. 15 2011 at 9:45 pm
musicispassion PLATINUM, Perris, California
35 articles 0 photos 733 comments

Favorite Quote:
" Life is never easy for those who dream."
There are so many other quotes i need pages to write them

aaahhh i love this it's so creative how old r the charathers? If someone asks me out i'm afraid to say no i totally agree with WritingSpasms do u think u could give me a description of ben and monique this is haunting


on Jul. 15 2011 at 8:54 pm
WritingSpasms, Los Angeles, California
0 articles 0 photos 121 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Devils run when a good man goes to war."
- River Song from Doctor Who (Ep. A Good Man Goes to War)

This just blew my mind. Seriously, it disturbed the living daylights out of me, but I loved it! I don't see any criticisms in this piece. :)

on Jul. 15 2011 at 8:23 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1646 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." --Douglas Adams

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." --Marcus Aurelius

Wow, that's a chilling story.  I have absolutely no criticisms.  Excellent job!

firenrain GOLD said...
on Jul. 15 2011 at 7:51 pm
firenrain GOLD, Belle Mead, New Jersey
10 articles 0 photos 37 comments

Favorite Quote:
"A room without books is like a body without a soul."

- Cicero

Roman author, orator, & politician (106 BC - 43 BC)

wow...that was sick, twisted , and scary. But also really awesome. I'm not used to reading this writing style so it's really refreshing for me. I actually really liked the pacing, how it was really slow and suspicious in the beginning and very fast in the middle and end. I thought Ben was very believable, because there are cruel people in this world. I don't have any criticism :)

on Jul. 15 2011 at 6:34 pm
Delictious GOLD, Lubbock, Texas
16 articles 5 photos 151 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I would like to be remembered as a woman who did the best she could with the talent she had."

I thought the story premise could be cleaned up a bit. It doesn't seem that likely that a guy would kill a mother and his crush just because she said no... Maybe add a humilation that could drive him to that point of insanity. I also thought the killing of the mom came a BIT too fast, like it just kinda appeared after her just talking to the dead mom... Kinda rushed.

I liked it though! I thought the writing style was very nice(:

tealbird said...
on Jul. 15 2011 at 4:40 pm
This was a brilliant idea, and really well written! The only thing I think that could be fixed would be that it requires a little more detail in some places because I had to go back and read over some stufff because I couldn't quite understand what was going on. Good writing!

on Jul. 3 2011 at 4:00 am
TheSilverLaurel GOLD, Goole, Other
13 articles 0 photos 70 comments
i dont know how he died, never thought about it. Thanks for the review!

on Jul. 3 2011 at 4:00 am
TheSilverLaurel GOLD, Goole, Other
13 articles 0 photos 70 comments
thanks lol :)

on Jul. 2 2011 at 8:11 pm
Garnet77 PLATINUM, Sinagpore, Other
31 articles 6 photos 577 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Everything's a triangle." ~ My mother

"Write what you love, write what you care about, because sometimes, it's the easiest way to be heard."

I like this a lot! You switched from present to past tense and then back to present in the story, which was a little annoying, but it's nothing you can't fix. Your pieces are truly chilling. Ben seems really mean. And I'm kind of thinking he killed himself.. Or am I reading that wrong? Overall, great job! :)

Grayhawk said...
on May. 30 2011 at 5:15 pm
Wow, you really are a pretty good writer!  This creeped me out and gave me the shivers, but I really couldn't stop reading! That dude must have been really disturbed! LOL :D