(Lights go up on stage, BOY and GIRL walk onstage holding hands. They sit down on a bench -- BOY sits with his back to the audience. GIRL sits facing the audience—she is young, bookish and shy, terrified to mess up in front of her date)

GIRL: Oh God… (Incredulous) Oh my God. This is really happening. You and me -- here. On a date. We’re on a date. (Realization) Oh my God… (Gets up from bench and begins pacing) And it’s not like this is my first date or anything (It is -- she continues nervously) It’s not like I’m going to horribly screw everything up because I have absolutely no clue what I’m doing right? -- Oh God, what am I doing?

(Starting to doubt herself) I mean, I shouldn’t even be here. There’s a reason why I’ve never gone on a date before. And of all people to ask me out (stops pacing) -- it just had to be you, didn’t it? (To BOY) You’re so perfect – not perfect, I mean – No, that’s not what I meant, it’s just – God, I just don’t want to screw this up, you know? And you’d know- because only a loser like me has never dated anyone before and …Oh God, I don’t know what I’m doing…

But I’m totally stuck, I mean, it’s not like I can just leave now…
(She has an idea) ...Wait a minute …There’s still time -- I could totally just blow off the date entirely… Tell him my house is on fire -- Or that I have to put my dog down. (Desperate) At this rate anything would be better than staying with you, and having you find out that I’m a total loser … and laugh at me… Come on, before I screw this up entirely…

(Lights go up on BOY, who gets up and turns to face GIRL. He has not heard any of her internal monologue.)

BOY: Hey, ready to go? I know this great Chinese place downtown- you’ll love it.

GIRL: (Aside) Oh, come on… excuses, excuses…just SAY SOMETHING ALREADY! Time is running out, he’s waiting and I’m really not in the mood for Chinese…

BOY: So, whaddya say? (Beat)

(GIRL is debating whether or not to stay with him, or lie and leave so that she doesn’t embarrass herself- doesn’t respond to BOY. Awkward silence ensues)

BOY: Uh …Is everything okay?

GIRL: Oh, uh (Realizes she is going to regret this later) I, Um…I have a… My, uh – My mom actually just texted me and, Uh… (She’s stalling—BOY reaches for her hand and she panics)

My dog is on fire.

BOY: What?

GIRL: My, uh- my dog… no, not my …Uh (Realizes what she just said made no sense- she’s mortified) F***.

(GIRL runs out, leaving a confused BOY standing onstage. Lights dim -- END SCENE)