(19-year-old Jerry Spingleman is lounging on the couch in his stylish, modern apartment after a long day. He wears casual, comfy pajamas and is snacking on carrot sticks. The TV brightens up the dim room by a bit.)

JERRY: (He stretches contentedly and sighs) At last.

JERRY: My essays are done, the groceries are bought; and now there’s nothing to do but kick back and watch all nineteen seasons of Grey’s Anatomy.

JERRY: (Satisfied, he reaches down to chomp on yet another carrot stick and lays back on the couch, the first episode plays)

(A sudden knock at his door)

JERRY: What?(He groans and gets up, opening the door to find a mousy elderly woman)

OLD WOMAN: Excuse me, young man. I seem to have run out of milk for my cake. If it isn’t too much trouble, could you be so kind and lend me a cup?

JERRY: Of course. (He goes to get the cup of milk and carefully hands it to the old woman) 

OLD WOMAN: Thank you!(She shuffles away)

JERRY: (He walks back to the couch and picks up another carrot stick from his bowl, settling back into a comfortable position on the couch)

JERRY: (He sighs happily and a few moments pass)

(Another knock at the door)

JERRY: Again?!

JERRY:(He gets up and opens the door, this time it’s a little boy)

JERRY: Hi?

KID: My mom told me to ask you for a stick of butter.

JERRY: And no one else wanted to give you one?

KID: (The boy shakes his head no and shrugs)

JERRY: …Ok.(He goes to his kitchen to get the stick of butter and hands it to the child)

KID: Thanks.(He walks away and Jerry shuts the door)

(Jerry speed walks back to his place on the couch and grabs two carrot sticks this time)

JERRY: Finally-

(A more AGGRESSIVE knock at the door surprises him)

JERRY: (He is barely containing his anger at this point)

JERRY: (He slowly gets up and walks briskly towards the door)

JERRY: (He opens it to find a muscular man wearing sunglasses with a pompous haircut) Yes?

GYM DUDE: My brother! My homie! My friend!

JERRY: Who are you?(Deadpan)

GYM DUDE: Do a man a solid like the first fundamental phase of matter! Ma broskis and I were workin’ the Thighmaster 1000 and worked up a sizeable appetite, but when we checked the Big F there was no protein drinks left! (The man gestures wildly, clearly distraught)

JERRY: (Trying to comprehend his request) The Big what?

GYM DUDE: The fridge, man! We ran out of fuel-age!

JERRY: Sorry, but I don’t HAVE any protein drinks.

GYM DUDE: Exactly, my man!(Unfazed by his annoyance) We need tasty components for our delectable slurpables! 

GYM DUDE: (He tilts his sunglasses down, lowering his voice)

Got any peanuts?

JERRY: Peanuts?

GYM DUDE: Yeah..like those crackly shell ones.

JERRY: I may. (He walks into his kitchen to fetch a small container’s worth from a large sack)

GYM DUDE: WOOOO HOOOO!! (He follows him inside)

JERRY: (Filling the container) Here you g- 

(The Gym Dude picks the ENTIRE SACK up and walks out) 

GYM DUDE: You’re a lifesaver, man! A Raspberry one!

(Jerry stands helplessly as his peanuts disappear out the door)

JERRY: You’re welcome? Ugh. (He shuts the door then takes a running leap onto his couch, mentally preparing for another interruption)

(Sure enough, another knock at the door)

JERRY: (The face of a defeated man)

JERRY: Coming..

JERRY: (He opens the door to find an eccentric old man dressed a as a old time explorer)

BARTHOLOMEW: It is I! GREAT EXPLORER Bartholomew Joseph Edgar Martino Charles Thomas Doe!

BARTHOLOMEW: I hath traveled ALL ACROSS THE LANDS,SEEN MANY WONDROUS AND MYSTICAL THINGS, and hath now landed onto YOUR doorstep.

JERRY: Ok?

BARTHOLOMEW: I have but ONE humble REQUEST, dear boy!

JERRY: If it’s in the kitchen, I may as well give it to you. 

BARTHOLOMEW: ..I have not tasted the sweet zing of a carrot stick in decades-

JERRY: NOPE! (He immediately slams the door shut)

BARTHOLOMEW: Doh!

JERRY:(He storms back to his couch) Ok, no more handouts! 

JERRY: (Yelling over his shoulder to no one in particular) JERRY’S IS CLOSED EVERYONE! (He takes a vexed bite out of a carrot stick)

(Some part of Jerry is surprised at how silent it got)

JERRY: (He lets out a breath and finally, finally watches his show in peace)

(After a few silent moments, a light thump could be heard from his balcony)

JERRY: I’m gonna ignore that.(He munched on his carrot sticks)

(He heard few more audible thumps too big to ignore, Jerry looks over at his balcony door)

(A duo of chefs could be seen standing on his balcony. Each wearing what seemed to be black rappelling harnesses juxtaposed to white chef uniforms and matching large chef toques. The first had a comically large mustache)

JERRY: What the?!

(The first chef removes his balcony door and walks inside, the second following shortly after. The two have strikingly neutral expressions as they walk into his kitchen)

JERRY: I suppose you’re here for my pepperoni?!

CHEF 1: No.(He opens his cupboard to find a bag of sugar and hands it to the second chef without breaking eye contact with Jerry)

JERRY: HELLO?

CHEF 1: (He searches through his cupboard for a little longer and takes out a even bigger bag of flour, again not breaking eye contact with Jerry)

JERRY: WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU?

CHEF 2: (In a grave tone of voice) The Ketchup Incident at Mario’s of ‘18.

JERRY: WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?

CHEF 2: (Narrowing his eyes) You know what you did.

(The duo promptly hook their harnesses up and rappel off Jerry’s balcony, carrying his sugar and flour respectfully)

JERRY: (He sits back in his couch stunned)

JERRY: ANYONE ELSE?

(A large THUMP on his balcony)

JERRY: (He slowly turns his head back to his balcony door)

 (A large figure stands wearing a bunny mascot suit. The face of the bunny suit is friendly, yet they have a menacing aura. It is unknown how they got onto the balcony)

JERRY:(Guarding his precious carrot sticks!) NO! NO!

BUNNY: (Waves happily)

JERRY: DON’T YOU DARE!

BUNNY: (Skips into his kitchen, taking out a boxed pie from his fridge)

BUNNY: (Abruptly stops skipping and walks toward the door)

JERRY: (The shock of the appearance of the mascot wears off and he sprints toward the figure) NOT SO FAST COTTON-TAIL!

BUNNY: (Surprised at the resolve of their pursuer, they open the door and sprint down the hallway(offstage))

JERRY:(Chases the bunny with vigor)

(The two bound down the halls for a couple of seconds until the Bunny stops at a cluster of tables, setting the pie down on a checkered table)

JERRY: WHAT?

(Jerry is dumbfounded at the sight of all the people he helped having a indoor picnic with his food)

KID: Hi mister!

BARTHOLOMEW: Hark! The carrot hoarding wonder in alllll his glory! 

BARTHOLOMEW: By Jove, This peanut punch is splendid! (He takes another sip)

OLD WOMAN: Hello.

JERRY: (He just stands there)

CHEF 2:(The chefs are sitting on lawn chairs) Carrot hoarding and pizza ruining. Ketchup on pizza! (He scoffed at the notion)

CHEF 1:(He huffs)

BUNNY: (They wave happily)

GYM DUDE: (Seeming to take pity on him) Some pie for the pie man? (He offers Jerry a slice and a cup of punch)

JERRY: ..Sure.

(The lights fade to black)