the faintest reason | Teen Ink

the faintest reason

June 25, 2010
By OrEoCoOkIeS BRONZE, Longview, Washington
OrEoCoOkIeS BRONZE, Longview, Washington
3 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
love is venom that seeps and burns...until the time when its your turn to die.


This one horrible night was going to change my life forever.
Today is my birthday(im turning 18) big whoop. I finnaly get to leave highschool and set off for collage. My parents thought It would be nice to get me my own car but I have a big old truck and I love my truck. I have had this truck scince I was 16 but its theirs and they wont let me take it to collage. They say it’s a big lump of metal and that I should get rid of it. I just can’t so I asked them to hold on to it, the car they got me was a mini cooper. How fun…….. I hate it. It’s to small and I cant take it hunting or camping.

Later today I’m going to a friends house and were gonna open our letters from collages to see which ones we got into. We both signed up for the same collages so if we both don’t get into a same dorm then we can see each other every day. I plan on becoming a biologist or a crimal reasearcher. I guess I should cross my fingers. On my to her house I found a $20.00 bill. Don’t know if I should keep it….. well it is my birthday, uhh I’ll just leave it. Wow there are a lot of cars on the road today. While they’re passing by I am here walking with headphones in my ears blasting away with old 80’s music. It’s sad I’m addicted to it dang you parents.
The night sky is so beautiful. If I was anything in a past life I bet it was an animal that stayed up all night just to look at the sky. My birthday always falls on a new moon. I just love to look up at it and count the stars or try to find constallations that I know. Sometimes if I look hard enough I can find orion’s belt it’s so amazing. Who cares if I get cold. The only regret I would have if I died was that I never got to see a comet, but I will never have that regret because hailey’s comet is supposed to be passing by tommorow night. The only real thing that I wanted to do for my birthday was go to the research tower in seattle and see the comet. So my parents are going to take me. God I love the night.

I think it’s midnight and I can’t sleep. There must be something on my mind. I keep thinking, I really don’t want to grow up I’ve spent my whole life being a grown-up. Always having to babysit my sister or take care of someone elses problems. I’ve always been the better person, always the person people come to with problems. I’m just sick of it I want to get out and be a real kid but life goes by so fast when your dealing with someone’s problems or having to be a part time parent to a kid who isn’t even yours. This can’t keep happening to me, I think I’m gonna go out for a walk and think this all through.

Damn, its 6 a.m I have to get ready for school. Don’t really want to go though. So tired. “hey, mom can I stay home today it’s the last day of highschool and we don’t do s*** anyway!” After I said that I think she’ll have to respond. “No! you may not. Your going to school I bet katelynn will be there you won’t be alone.” She did respond. “Aww, then I’m going to drive my truck!!” That should stop her from letting me go. “Fine but you are going.” Crap okay I guess I’m going to school. What should I wear, oh whatever it doesn’t matter. Oh wait, AH HAH! Theres that shirt, its my purple areopostale shirt its so soft. Ok what is this going to go good with. Huh, maybe o sweet it looks great ok I’ll wear my grey cutoff shorts with it.

Lunch is nasty here well its always been nasty but todays especially nasty. Teriaky barf nuggets why did I even get them. I feel sick. Going to sit with katelynn and her bofriend blake. That dudes an a** but kates always gone out with a**h*les its like shes a magnet for them that’s why she needs me in collage to keep her from getting pregnet and having to be a wellfare momma. I love katelynn she is my sister not literally but we’ve best friends scince kidnigarten. She’s the pretty one I’m not. I’m big and strong I scare guys away hehe no guy dares mess with me or katelynn. Well I am kinda attractive I guess I always get told that by guys. I think its because I scare them. O hey shes yelling at better go. “ Hey katie get your butt over here I have to tell you something!” she screamed across the cafeteria. “kay , I’m coming just wait a sec.” I yelled back “Hurry!” right as I turned around I tripped over damien my second best friend who is kinda scared of katelynns boyfriend so he doesn’t sit with us anymore. “Hey damien what’s up.” He got up off his butt. “ oh hey katie hey um I have to ask you something.” “KATIE!!!!!” I looked at kate and grabbed my stuff. “ask me after school damien.” “KATIE!!!” god she is umpatient.


I regretfully looked at damien and left.”okay katelynn I’m here what do you want.” I sat down with a huff. She held out her hand and on it was a giant diamond. I gasped “where the hell did you get that!” kate pointed to blake “He proposed!!” I suddenly saw black and I went numb falling back off my seat and hitting the floor with a deafing crack. I heard a scream then I was gone.


I woke up in a hospital bed. I looked around. “where in hell am I? and what the f*** am I wearing?” I tried to get up but there was a I.V in my arm “F***k! God dammit why can’t I move!!” I tried to get up again but a cool strong hand pressed down on my shoulder. I looked up and my jaw dropped. Holy crap this boy was beautiful and strong. “your names katie right? Hi my name is devan.” Wow I don’t think I can speak now. I guess I’ll try. “uhh hi yeah my names katie where am i?” he laughed “Do you not know that you fainted in school?” I struggled against his grip. “I what!?! Did you just say I fainted?!” he laughed again “Yup smacked your head pretty hard to. Almost the whole cafeteria rushed up to you in a couple seconds.” I am in utter shock here “Wheres katelynn I’m going to strangle her!” I am hella furious now. “who? Oh that girl you were sitting with? She’s outside should I go get her?” I just stared at him. Then yelled “Well DUH!” He giggled and left the room. Katelynn came in with tears obvioulsy all over her face. “Thank god your awake I’ve been so worried!” I glared at her “I swear to god your lucky I can’t get up and strangle you right now.” She seemed shocked “why would you want to strangle me?” I just looked at her. “Well for one why in f*** would you accept the f***king proposal.”


“I’m sorry katie but I love him.” I must have looked like I would have gotten out of that bed and went and punched her because she ran out. I might just have done that, just maybe. Damien then came in he ran up to me and hugged me. “oh my god katie I was so scared! I thought you had a stoke or a seizure.” I looked at him “what are you talking about damien I was just simply surprised. I’m glad you’re here though its good to see someone who hasn’t made me mad in the past couple of days. Sometimes I think that we would be perfect together.” He bent down and kissed me I jumped and then I started to feel warm and softer like he had broken through my barrior. My safe haven where I keep all my emotions locked away so people can’t see into me and see my weak points. I don’t remember who broke the kiss but one of us did. He stared at me with big eyes then I saw that he was crying, “whats wrong? Damien whats wrong you can tell me” He turned away “the thing I wanted to tell you is that you know we’ve been best friends scince we were in preschool scince before you knew katelynn.” Uh what was he going to say?

“Katie we’ve been right next to each other through heven and hell together through thick and thin. We’ve even told each other our deepest and darkest secrets.” I nodded not knowing what to say. “ well I haven’t told you everything, you always wanted to know why I didn’t eat and why I’m so pale…….. the truth is I’m undead.” I just stared at him wondering if I heard him right. “uuuuu…undead?” he nodded. “so your like a vampire or like a zombie or something?” “yes I am a vampire…. I never told you before because I thought you wouldn’t like me any more. I thought you wouldn’t be my friend. That you would think that I’m crazy, but you’ve seen the proof all you have to do is belive.” I swore I would never do what I did then and that was cry. I felt the first tear role down my cheek it landed in my mouth it was salty kinda like ocean water.
He came up to me and i just leaned up and cried in his shoulder. “you never decided to tell me until now? Did you not trust me? Did I do something to make you not trust me? You should have known that I would always belive you no matter what. You’re the person who I rely on when I don’t have anyone to talk to you’d always stop something just to come over when I wasn’t well.” He pushed me back and looked at me squarly in the face. “you didn’t do anything I had to make sure you had proof I had to show you proof before I told you and I could’nt come out and openly show you proof my dad has forbidden it.” That just made me feel even worse. “then what was with the kiss I’ve read in books that a vampire is not allowed to love a mortal.” He replied “I know those rules and yes they are true. I am not allowed to love a mortal but it would be okay if I changed you we could be together that is why I came out and told you now.” My eyes got big they practiclly bugged out of my head. “you can’t really mean that you’d make me undead just so I could never grow up, never become old? I won’t do it I want to stay human.” He glared at me “Do you know what the doctors were saying what that male nurse was saying to the doctors? Katie they were talking about you.” “soo? They said I was fine didn’t they?” he just kept glaring. “no katie you have cancer a type of cancer that they can’t fix. Your going to die anyway.”


I couldn’t belive my ears, me? The most fit girl in my family, practicly the most fit girl at my highschool? I can’t be that sick I would have known. It would have showed signs. “ I can’t be sick like that there would have been signs your just trying to make me allow you to take me!” he groand “no I am not don’t you trust me?” he looked so pitiful it was almost funny but looking at him just made me mad angry furious! “I want you outta here I never want to see you again!!! Leave!!! Get out!!” I screamed. “I want you to just leave me alone GO!!!!” he looked hurt then mad. “I’ll be back and I will change you, you now have no say in the matter.” And he walked out. The doctor came in he told me just what damien had said. I have cancer and I only have 2 months to live. I started to cry again and told him to send in my parents. Damiens last words ringing in my ears. I will be back , I will be back , I will be back. No I can’t think about him right now. My mom came rushing in she hugged me her tears rubbing on my face. Dad came in then his face sad almost depressed looking, he had been crying to I could tell. I’m like my dad we both barly almost never cry.

“so I’m guessing you guys were told before me?” mom just sat there crying while dad said “yes they told us before you and I’m sorry.” I looked at them sympatheticly. “ I know you never wished this upon me, well hey I at least get a peaceful death. I did some research on some cancers and this type was one of them. You eventually just fall asleep and don’t wake up.” Dad started to cry again then and mom just started crying harder. “don’t be sad for me. It’s all right I think I get to come home for a time don’t I?” dad nodded. “cool. I’ll like that.”

On my way home I saw damien walking around talking to himself. He looked up for a second just to meet my eyes then looked down again. He then started to mutter more and looked even more solem. When I got home katelynn was there. “Katie” she whisperd. She ran and hugged me. “oh katie I just heard about the cancer.” She was about ready to cry when I said enough. “how do you know about it?” “katie everyone is talking about it at school.” “oh.” We went and sat down and talked. “you know when damien came out of your room he looked as if he were going to burst into tears.” “really he seemed angry when he came in.” she looked at me “what did you say to him.” “nothing…. Okay a lot of things but eventually he got annoying and was starting to p*** me off so I told him to go.” “wait I remember a lot of yelling coming from your room when he went in.” I laughed “really I didn’t know that.” She giggled “it was kinda funny seeing him come out so sad. I didn’t know any one could do that to damien.” I burst out laughing “oh my god if you knew him as well as I did you would be able to find many ways to make him cry.”

We sat talking like that for awhile then she brought up collage and I started thinking about all the places I wanted to go to, and all the people I wanted to meet. It kinda made me sad that I was never gonna be able to do that. Unless I gave in to damien but its not gonna happen.





Katelynn eventually had to go home we said our goodbyes and she left. The rest of the night I had nothing to do but go outside and look at the night sky. It IS my favirote thing to do. Sooner or later I should be able to find the big dipper. O wait there it is. The northern star is so pretty just looking at the stars make me feel like I belong there. Make me feel special. I made a wish it was a long shot but it might happen. I wished for a way to get out of having cancer or way to make everyone happy and not so sad. I kinda fell asleep outside, when I woke up there was a blanket and a pillow over me. I got up and looked at them, picked them up and under the pillow was a letter. I grabbed it and walked into the house.

The letter was from damien I decided I should probobly read it.
“katie obviously you know its damien, but I want you to know there is a way out of cancer. BECOME A VAMPIRE.” I put the letter down I didn’t want to read anymore. “I hate you and I told you never to talk to me again.” I said quietly. I went upsatirs to my room and thought about it I have only the faintest of reasons not to become a vampire, but he has almost an entire list of reasons why I SHOULD become a vampire. My reason being that I want to grow old and wrinkly. It was a very small reason but that reason has vanished now. I picked up the letter again. “you now have no reason to not become one. Please just listen to me for a second and consider all the things that you would gain. Please katie I know you don’t want to be one but it would save you and keep us together.” I just couldn’t read anymore I felt so depressed right then. I had only damien and katelynn and my family to live for when I thought I was okay, but now….. I don’t. I fell back on my bed there is no other choice besides die is there? “come on out I know your there damien I could sense you plus I could smell your nasty fricken colone.” I made gagging noises just for the fun of it. He suddenly apeared next to me. “how long have you known I was here?” “scince this morenig when SOMETHING shook me awake and nothing was there except the faint smell of colone.” He laughed “you have a very strong nose you know that?” “yes I know that you’ve told me that almost everyday from when we were kids.” “wow do I miss those days you weren’t so hormonal.” I smacked him in the arm. “your very strong to OWWW.” I giggled “I know.” He stared at me “you know you’re the only one whose been able to make me laugh really.” I shook my head “nuh uh, the was that one time when katelynn hit herself in the face with a tetherball.” I laughed then. That was so funny. “oh well there was that time but have you ever seen me laugh at anything besides you?” “I guess not why is that?” he hugged me “its because no one else has known me as long as you have except my parents and you know them they’re sticks in the mud.”


The author's comments:
what made me want to write this was just the passion that i get from other authors about love and hatred.

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