Return to Sender | Teen Ink

Return to Sender

June 12, 2015
By righteousmomma BRONZE, Saint Charles, Illinois
righteousmomma BRONZE, Saint Charles, Illinois
4 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Dear Jim,

I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to walk away from us like that, but I needed time to myself. I'm sure you'll understand.
I...I needed time to myself, for myself, because I couldn't take all of the weight I was putting on my shoulders. At some point, I realized that it wasn't others who put me down; it was me. I couldn't stand who I was, and I was soon comparing myself to others.
This is where you come in.
I would look at the girls you've fallen in love with, then at the characteristics you desire in a woman. Apparently, you want a woman of color who is intelligent, shares some opinions as you, and desires a future with you. However, who you actually want is a white, blonde woman who is petite, tall, and lax.
There's nothing wrong with white, blonde women; the problem is that each time you break up with a woman, you exclaim your weariness of white women, yet your next girlfriend is whiter than the last.
The problem is that I, a woman of color, will get my hopes up only to be crushed by the reality that society doesn't want you to date dark skinned women since you are a caucasian man. Instead, they influence you to go for the white woman.
And it breaks my heart. It makes me feel like because of my skin color, I'm not as beautiful as Madison, Judy, or even Amber; I feel ugly for being a woman of color.
Even though all women are beautiful, I'm afraid that you'll only see light skinned women as symbols of beauty; not darker beauties like me.
When you read this letter, you can either burn it or write back. Just know that this is why I'm not gonna try to be friends with you for a little bit. I'm sorry.

Best of wishes,

Me



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