Sitting in his car, I watch couple after couple come out of the fancy restaurant that we, too, have a reservation. They are all so happy, hand in hand, or even snuggling in close blocking the cold air. I can’t have this even if I wanted it; what I am—what we are, is unacceptable in their eyes. We are nothing but a disgrace—monsters. They don’t know that we didn’t choose this. Why would we choose to be different? He knows what I’m thinking and sends a reassuring smile and squeezes my hand. We get out of the car, and as I meet him on the sidewalk right in front of the restaurant, he goes to grab my hand, I hesitate; I try hard not to show how scared I am, but he knows. He’s been reading me like a book this whole night and I don’t know what to do. It’s not like it was our first date but it sure feels like it, those same butterflies as the first time. There’s something different but I can’t quite put my finger on it, but something is off. We’ve never been to a place this fancy. As we step into the restaurant, I get prepared for the eyes, eyes with disgust but they never come. We walk to the hostess at the podium. “May I help you two gentlemen?” the kind lady asks with a smile. Her kindness sets me off a little.
  He leans in and whispers something to her.
“Follow me, sir”
We make our way to the table in the center; why did she have to put us in the center? I can feel the anxiety rise within me. Within a few minutes a waitress comes to our table and takes our drink requests, hurrying to the kitchen.  After an awkward ten minutes of just complete silence, eavesdropping on the conversations around us, she was back with our hard red wine.
While placing the drinks carefully on the table she asked “Do we know what we are having?”
He orders the lobster with fried potatoes.
“I’ll have the same thing,’’ I say while taking a sip of the hard red wine trying to ease some of the pressure.
We make it to dessert, with only a few words said I try to spark a conversation, I told him this was the best date we’ve been on in the six years we’ve been together.
“I was hoping for that,” he said while getting down on one knee.