I knew this day would come eventually, but somehow, part of me still couldn’t fathom the realization of it. I was dying, and today was my last day. In less than twenty four hours, I would be dead. I stared up at the sky, taking in the blue because I would never see it again. I would never feel the warmth of the summer breeze on my skin, never smell the flowers, or feel the tickling sensation of a butterfly resting on my fingertips. I wouldn’t feel anything ever again.

I heard the grass rustle and I saw my best guy friend walking through the meadow towards me. He lay down beside me without saying a word, and we stared up at the fluffy white clouds that were passing by.

“So, Rylie, what are you planning on doing today?”

“What do you mean?”

He flipped so he was on his side, staring at me, but I didn’t meet his eyes. “Your mother told me everything. She says the doctors tell you that today is the day you die.”

I still didn’t meet his eyes, a part of me couldn’t. I was still shocked I was walking around like a normal person, I should be bed-ridden, and waiting for death as I stare at the stark white walls of a hospital room, but God had graced me with the power of strength. I could walk, talk, and breathe. For a while longer at least.

Beau reached out his hand to me, and grabbed mine with his own. “You’re not spending you’re last day in this field cloud watching.”

I finally looked at him, and I could see the sadness hidden behind the determination there. He knew I was going to die, but he was going to be strong, for me. But all too soon, our facades of happiness would crack, and the real sadness and fear underneath of it all would crash down on us, and I wasn’t ready for that. I don’t think I’d ever be, even if I had eighty more years to live.

I smiled at him, “But I like this field.”

He tapped me lightly on the end of the nose. “You are not staying here in this field, get your butt up and come with me.” He pulled me up as he stood, and I rolled my eyes as he ran, pulling me along behind him.

“Where are we going?” I shouted at him, my breathing hitching from running.

“I don’t know yet!” He yelled back, showing me the wild smile that was on his face. I didn’t think whatever he had planned was going to be good, but hey, you only live once, right?

His car was parked at the edge of the field and we got in and he started to drive away. “So, what have you always wanted to do?”

I thought for a minute, what did I want to do with the last day of my life? “I want to get into as much trouble as possible.”

Beau took one hand off of the wheel and reached over and touched my cross necklace hanging from my neck. “How much trouble? Enough to land you in hell?”

I punched him in the shoulder, and he rubbed it, saying how much it hurt him that I’d use some of my last strength to hurt him. “Yeah, whatever. I don’t want to end up in hell Beau. I just want to raise some hell.”

“Raising hell is my middle name little girl, just you wait.”

~*~*~

I don’t exactly know how many times we ran away from screaming people who probably wanted to shoot us with their shotguns, until we arrived at our last destination. We had spray-painted buildings and signs, thrown rotten eggs at random people walking down the sidewalks, tripped people with hidden trip wires, and thrown multiple water balloons filled with a chunky substance that Beau wouldn’t tell me the name of. Part of me didn’t want to know what in the world it was.

So now  we stood in the bushes just outside of old man Whitman’s house, and Beau held a roll of toilet paper in one of his hands, and a bunch of eggs in the other, I had the same in each of mine.

“Egging and TPing in broad daylight, very raising hellish.” I muttered at Beau, and he rolled his eyes.

“On the count of three, we run in, shouting like Indians, then we throw the toilet paper to the roof, chuck the eggs and keep on running. Whoever gets caught is screwed.”

I nodded my head, a smile coming to my face. I’d never done anything like this. Apparently Beau had, because he had his game face on, studying the house like an army recruit.

“One, two, THREE!” He rushed out from behind the bush, and I was quick, to follow him. Yelling like lunatics and launching our eggs and toilet paper at the house, we ran for our lives, still shouting at the top of our lungs and waiting for old man Whitman to come out brandishing his cane.

We fell on the ground laughing and out of breath a few hundred feet up the sidewalk, waiting for old man Whitman to start screaming. A few seconds later in rang out in the silent town. “Come back here you hooligans! I’ll teach you a lesson or two!”

We started rolling over with laughter, our faces turning bright red, tears running down our faces and our sides splitting with pain.

Black spots danced in front of my eyes, and I panicked, my laughter faltered, and Beau was leaning over me in an instant, “Are you alright?”

“Just got a little light-headed, don’t treat me like I’m so fragile.”

He looked like he wanted to say something, but he bit his tongue, and forced a smile. “So you’ve made old man Whitman really ticked off, what’s next on your list?”

I sighed, spreading out on the sidewalk because it was warm, the sun was sinking in the sky, it wasn’t quite four in the afternoon yet. I didn’t want this day to end. “I don’t know. I never really knew what to expect when this came.”

“How about I take you to the fair? It’s the last day of it being here.” I know what he was thinking, that it was the last day of me being here as well, but he was nice enough to keep that part of it to himself. I smiled at him, sitting up.

“To the fair it is.”

The whole drive there, he let me have total control of the radio, which was a first. He didn’t even cringe when I played stupid pop songs and sung at the top of my lungs, even though I must have sounded like a dying walrus. No, I knew I sounded like a dying walrus.

The fair was fairly crowed when we arrived, and Beau paid my way in for me, even though I insisted that I should. I knew why he was doing it, but still. There were screaming children everywhere, with their parents following them in haste, pushing through the crowds so they wouldn’t lose them.

Couples walked by holding hands, their boyfriends clutching large stuffed animals that they’d won for the girls in a game. I sighed involuntarily, and Beau gave me a weird look.

“I’ve never even had a boyfriend.” I said, walking away into the fairground, away from a couple who had been kissing fairly close to where I had been standing.

We walked through in silence, looking for something to do. We came to a test your strength game, and the carny stopped us. He looked at Beau, “Would you like to test you strength and win a prize for your girl?” The carny waggled his eyebrows at me, and I opened my mouth to say that it wasn’t like that, when Beau stepped up.

“Sure.” He handed the carny the money, and in return he got the hammer thing to hit the game with. He slammed the hammer down, and the bell dinged at the top of the game. The carny whistled, and waved his hand towards the prizes, “Pick any one you want.”

Beau stepped aside and waved his hand at me too, I walked up to the prizes and picked a small teddy bear. “Are you sure you don’t want a bigger one?” The carny asked, and I shook my head.

“This one’s perfect.” The perfect size to fit in my casket, I thought bitterly, although I was smiling at the carny on the outside.

“You two are a cute couple, have fun kids.” He gave a wink to us both and I started to walk away, the carny pulled Beau aside and whispered, “The most romantic spot is the top of the Ferris Wheel.”

We walked around a little more, playing a few more games a riding a few of the stupid rides. I saw the sun begin to sink below the horizon and I felt my heart drop. My last day is almost over.

As if he could read my thoughts, Beau elbowed me in the arm, “Hey want to ride the Ferris Wheel? You can see the sunset better from the top.”

I gave him a small smile and we went to go wait in line. When I was finally our turn, we got in one of the little seats and waited for it to start. Beau slipped his hand into mine, and squeezed, and it made me feel comforted. We began to move slowly upwards, until we were at the very top. The sunset was full of brilliant colors, from oranges to pinks. It was absolutely mesmerizing.

Beau clutched my hand tighter in his, and I turned to look at him. He was crying silently beside me. “Beau, please, don’t, don’t do this now.”

“When am I supposed to cry? After you’re gone and I’m looking down at your dead body in your casket? I don’t want that, I want you to live.” He grabbed the cross around my neck. “You’ve believed all of your life, all of it that this God exists, but right now, how can you believe in anything but the fact that you’re dying?”

I stared at him, and I grabbed his hand with both of mine. “I know it’s not the best hand that’s been dealt, but I’ve played the game the best I could, Beau, and now it’s time for me to fold. Unfair or not, God is calling me home, Beau, and I have to go.”

“You’re seventeen, Rylie, you shouldn’t be dying.”

“No, I shouldn’t be. But I am. And I have to live with that fact, and I have to accept it. You don’t even know how much this scares me, Beau, to know that after tonight, I won’t be waking up again. I won’t be feeling the sunshine on my face. I won’t see my family, or you, ever again.” I was crying now, and for some reason, we were still stuck at the top of the Ferris Wheel. Why weren’t we going down?

“You haven’t even had a chance to live. You said it yourself a few hours ago; you haven’t even had a boyfriend yet.”

I gave a small smile, “I think that’s one of the least of my worries right now. Some things you just have to let go of. Not having your first boyfriend, or your first kiss. I won’t even graduate high school, or see my little brother or sister being born.”

Beau yanked his hand out of mine, and placed both of his on the sides of my face. “I can’t lose you.” More tears fell down his cheeks. “I love you Rylie, please don’t leave me.”

As the sun finally totally fell behind the horizon, Beau’s lips met mine in a sweet and tender kiss. I pulled him closer, and both of us were crying so I tasted the salt water, but I didn’t care. All I could care about right now was Beau and the kiss. If that was the last thing that I ever felt, at least I’d die with a smile on my face and love in my heart.

Until that moment, I didn’t even know how much I loved him, how truly I cared about him and his happiness. We the kiss broke, both of us were out of breath, and the sun had disappeared behind the horizon. He leaned his forehead against mine. “Please, don’t leave me.”

I heard a voice screaming my name, and for a terrifying second, I thought it was God, calling my spirit to heaven, but it wasn’t.

“Rylie!” My mother was below us, waving her arms frantically with my father by her side, and my doctor? “You aren’t going to die! The hospital made a mistake!”

My heart skipped a beat in my chest, slowly the Ferris Wheel moved, lowering us to the ground. Beau didn’t let go of my hand as we raced over to the three people. “What?”

“We made a mistake in your diagnosis, it wasn’t what we thought it was, and you’re not going to die. At least, not for a very long time.” A huge weight seemed to come off of my chest, and I felt like I could breathe again for the first time in months.

Beau seemed to be hyperventilating beside me, probably from shock. I turned to him, squealed in excitement, threw my hands around his neck, and kissed him. He nearly fell back in shock, but steadied us before we both crashed into the ground. I heard my parents chuckle and walk away from us. Beau pulled me tighter against him, and we were both lost in the moment.

~*~*~

I stood in the field, letting the breeze move my hair around my face, tickling my cheeks. I lone butterfly came gliding up to me, and I held out my hand, letting it walk on my palm. Beau came up behind me, scaring the butterfly away. He wrapped his arms around me, resting his head on my shoulder.

“What are you thinking about?”

“How good it is to be alive.”

I grabbed his hand and started to run, pulling him along behind me. I just wanted to run, be free, because I had all the time in the world.

“Where are we going?” Beau yelled, laughing slightly.

“I don’t know yet!” But I have a long time to figure it out.