The Burn of Love | Teen Ink

The Burn of Love

March 19, 2013
By Anonymous

Growing up in Australia, there was no place that felt more like home to me than the outback. During the summer months from December-February, I would spend my days hiking past Alice Springs to the most remote parts of the outback, enjoying the beauty of the wildlife and hoping to catch a glimpse of my favorite animal, a red kangaroo. Many of my peers at school questioned my sanity traveling back through the Alice all the time, but they did not understand the peace and tranquility I was able to find while walking through the outback desert. One thing to keep in mind is I wasn’t the most popular person within my high school; I stayed pretty much under the radar. I was always waiting for graduation day, hoping that after high school I would really be able to find myself and let my inner-self shine through. But at least for today, I was still the misunderstood girl with two true friends and a love for the outback.

It was the last day of junior year which also means the first day of summer. I could not have been more excited to officially become a senior and even better, turn eighteen the next day, December 2nd. I finally felt that I was starting to grow up and figure out what I wanted to do with the rest of my life, which would hopefully include sightseeing around the world before starting college in the United States. I dreamed about seeing more than just the outback, about hiking through the exotic places of the world such as the Amazon or the French Alps. My thoughts were soon interrupted by the end of the day bell, signifying I was free from this torturous prison also referred to as school. I was walking out of the building when I heard my name being yelled across the parking lot, “TIFF”, the loud voice screamed. Immediately I knew the voice; it was my outgoing, bubbly friend Jessica, and she was accompanied by my second, brilliant, overachieving friend Samantha. Together we were a pretty unique trio, but I have to admit they were definitely my saving grace throughout high school. Know the saying opposites attract? That statement described our friendship perfectly; we all complimented each other and brought out sides to each other that we never knew existed before.

“Tiff we HAVE to go to Bobby’s bonfire tonight it’s going to be SO much fun!”, Jessica enthusiastically told me as I walked over to her car. Feeling a little hesitant about the whole idea, I looked to Samantha for some reassurance. Sam smiled at me and stated with a smirk, “A little fire won’t hurt you”. As much as I didn’t really connect with the rest of my classmates, I would have my two best friends with me and be out in the place I felt most comfortable, nature. “Okay fine”, I cautiously agreed. Jess was thrilled she did not have to spend hours convincing to me attend the social event, “YAY I’m so excited, we’re going to have a blast. Plus I know John is going to be there”, she winked at me. Oh jeez, I thought to myself as my stomach started to turn. I was not the confident type of girl in general let alone around a boy I had a crush on, but secretly I was excited for the night.

Jess and Sam came to pick me up around 8 o clock. I told them I didn’t want to be out late because I was spending all day tomorrow exploring around the Alice like usual for my birthday, and they didn’t expect anything less. During the car ride the two of them chatted away in the front, but I was too nervous to join in on the conversation. All I could think about was if John would notice me, and I feared he would not. Sensing my tense body language, Jess leaned back before we got out of the car and joked, “Tiff, stay calm and just start small talk with him. If he’s at a bonfire he can’t hate the outdoors, so who knows maybe he’s a nature freak like you”. The thought of John being passionate about wildlife made me hopeful that we would have something in common, and maybe he could be one of the few people that actually understands me. If he really did enjoy the outdoors, John would without a doubt be my perfect dream guy.

Bobby greeted us at his back gate and Jess, Sam and I walked around the backyard to his bonfire. There were a ton of kids from our school there and I quickly scoped out the party looking for John. Even though we did have English earlier in the year, John sat on the other side of the room from me so I wasn’t completely sure if he even knew I existed. Jessica and Samantha noticed John immediately as well; they both linked arms with and began to drag me over to him. As much as I tried to fight them off, both of them insisted I go say hi right away. Soon John noticed me as I walked over his way and I could feel all the blush rush to my cheeks like fast flowing water through rapids. As soon I was directly in front of John, Samantha gave me a subtle nudge and then like word vomit I stuttered, “Uh hi John. Really nice night huh? I love being outside what about you? Are you happy schools finished? I know I am”. Taken back from my hundred questions, John laughed a little and answered, “Hey Tiffany, yes it’s a great night. I know you love the outdoors, I’ve heard you talk about your hiking trips around the outback, and I think that’s pretty awesome. Maybe now that school is over you could show me around some of your favorite spots; I’ve really never been in the outback before since I’ve heard it’s really dangerous”. Still completely star struck that John knew my name, it took me a minute to respond, “I’ve never run into any danger before but I’d love to take you if you want sometime”. “Sounds really cool, Tiffany. I’ll catch up with you later”, John replied to me and went to go grab a drink. At that point all I could do was smile in awe to Jessica and Samantha that I had a somewhat normal conversation with the boy I liked, and he actually seemed interested.

For the rest of the night I was on cloud nine, and surprisingly acting more so as a social butterfly than my usual inverted, nature girl self. I think the coziness of the fire and the serenity of being outside helped to further put me at ease. Finally, it started getting late so Jessica, Samantha and I got ready to go home. I was ecstatic about the events of the night, and on my way out I looked around for John again but he was unfortunately nowhere to be found. As soon as we got in the car Sam was the first one to question me, “So do you think you’ll actually take John hiking with you through the outback one time?”. Jessica chimed in, “Ooooh Tiff you have too. That would be SO romantic”. Feeling a little unsure about the whole dating situation, I simply replied, “Maybe. But all I know is that tomorrow it is just going to be me and Alice Springs”.

When I woke up the next morning, I was so relived to able to get some fresh air and explore in my favorite area of the outback. The great Australian outdoors was for me like an escape, that safe haven where I could go to just think. The natural beauty was so remarkable and no matter what dangers I supposedly faced while traveling through the outback, I never felt scared there. I went downstairs to eat some breakfast before annual birthday adventure, and found some birthday cards from my parents and friends. Although I did not have an abundance of friends, the ones I had were genuine and I was thankful for their birthday wishes. Leaving the house with a smile on my face, the only thing missing on this so far perfect birthday was John.

On my way to Alice Springs all I could think about was him and the brief encounter we had the night before. I was hoping I didn’t say anything to make him think I was weirder than I already was, but I had a feeling he was one of the few people who could actually see me for me. I eventually arrived in the town of Alice Springs and set off to explore my favorite part of the outback. After last night, I was feeling a little bold and wanted to go further into the remote parts of the outback we Aussies call “Never Never”. It was an extremely hot and dry summer day, so I knew if I was going to go to the back of beyond, I was going to have to be very careful. Now as an eighteen year old, I wanted to spice up my life a little and try something new. So I marched on past the quaint, little town and was determined to experience something I never had in the outback before.

My hiking path started out relatively similar to the one I usually take, but this time I veered off the trail to see where I would end up. I really wished to see my favorite animal, the red kangaroo for my birthday, but I had only seen one of those magnificent Australian outback animals once before so I did not keep my hopes up. Once I was in one of the most remote parts of the outback, I decided to sit down on a rock and eat some lunch since the sun was a scorching black pan on a hot stove. Mid-way through my lunch, I got a glimpse of an animal prancing through the bushels. I almost choked when I realized the animal was a red kangaroo! In order to get closer I tried my best to quietly sneak up to the bushes. When I was almost fifteen feet away, I tripped on the ground and the kangaroo went quickly jumping along through the terrain. As upset as I was to have scared the stunning creature away, I could not help but notice how unnaturally hot the ground was that I feel onto. Before I had a chance to react, an infamous fire devil sprung up from the disproportionally hot ground and raced towards me. Still stuck on the ground the fire devil raced over me with the heat of a thousand suns and burned my flesh to a deep charcoal.

I woke up in the hospital later that night as someone had thankfully seen the fire devil blaze through the outback, and luckily seen me seared and lying on the ground unconscious. I never knew I could feel this much pain from just opening my eyes, but then I realized the severe burns up and down my body. I looked from left to right to see my whole family sitting there with me as well as Jessica and Samantha. Most of them were crying but they stopped when they saw me laying there staring at them. Immediately everyone rushed over to me, telling me everything was going to be okay as they were holding back their tears. Overwhelmed with the people crowding me and my new skin injury, I decided to close my eyes and face reality another time. How could nature, the one thing I thought could never hurt me, destroy my life like this.

For the rest of the summer, Jess and Sam stayed by my bed and comforted me as I began my healing process. It was a struggle to be indoors all the time, but I wasn’t so sure I felt the same about the outback anymore. I almost felt as if my closest had betrayed me and harmed me more than I could’ve ever imagined. But the worst part was this was not at all how I pictured entering my senior year and allowing my personality to truly show through like I started too on that first day of summer at Bobby’s bonfire. Now I was always going to be the girl at school with the burn marks, and hiding back under the radar would definitely be a challenge. Jessica and Samantha assured me I was still the same person and no one would look at me differently after the battle wounds left from my struggle with the fire devil. But on the last day of summer, I began to cry due to my fear of seeing my peers at school the next day. Samantha looked me in the eye and said, “Tiffany, you are stronger than you think. I don’t know someone who could’ve gone through what you did and lived to tell about it”. Jessica further added with a smile, “And you STILL are totally cuter than half the girls at school so walk in there tomorrow with all the confidence in the world”. I have to admit, Jess and Sam always knew what to say in their own ways to make my feel better.

As I walked into school on that warm March day, I hid my crisp legs and arms with long pants and a sweatshirt. I had never had so many people say hello to me as I walked up and down the hallways, and for a little bit it actually helped to distract my mind of the discoloration of my skin. Right as I was about to enter the door to my first period classroom, John tapped my arm. I was shocked to see him standing there and became paralyzed when he embraced me in the most reassuring hug I had ever received. John looked at me and said, “You are beautiful Tiffany, and you don’t need to cover yourself up to be. Can you meet me after school? I’ve really missed seeing you this summer”. Totally taken back I thanked him and replied, “Of course, I’ll meet you in the front of the building at the end of the day”. From there the rest was history. John began to come over every day after school to help me with my homework and eventually asked me to our homecoming dance. We officially started dating soon after, and he made me feel indescribable. I guess I had been right from the beginning; there was something about John that made me feel comfortable since he had the ability to ignore my outside appearance and truly notice the real me.

While we were dating, John never failed to encourage me to give the outback another chance. He knew how much it had meant to be before and he felt saddened that I had given up on something I loved so much and was so passionate about. One day when the weather was warm but not too hot, John reminded me that I had promised to show him around my favorite hiking spots in the outback. I was terrified to step foot in the Alice Springs area again after my traumatizing experience, but the way John insisted made me consider it. I felt safe with him. After much reluctance, John suggested we just go for a little bit. I did miss the smell of the fresh air and the calm atmosphere of the wildlife, so eventually I agreed. We packed everything up and John held my hand as we traveled to the great outback. As soon as I took one step into the warm, sunny area, I forgot my fears and let myself fall into the serenity of the terrain. It was like I had never left this beautiful place, and all of the familiar sounds made me feel at home. I even took off my sweatshirt and allowed my bare arms to be exposed for the first time since my accident, a true sign of the comfort I felt. I then realized I could not give up on the things that meant so much to me, and I knew at that point John was also one of them.



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