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Loving Four Things
I can’t understand why but I said yes when you asked me on a date but now I see as a silly Idea. You’re the weirdest person I have ever known; you are so quirky and really complicated. I don’t know if it is my love for unusual things or the fact that this is my first time ever asked on a date that made me say yes. Either way, I said yes so, here I am stuck here in your car and listening to the crappy music playing from your radio set as your drive us. It is a cold and dark night but you seem to enjoy it. Funny thing is I never like nights yet I find myself being fascinated by it. Despite the fact that it is slightly annoying to be with you, I can say it is much more exciting. My head is banging with excitement. You don’ take us to some fancy restaurant a really crowded movies, you just bring you car to halt by the side walk. You’ve stopped by an open field and I have no idea why. You switch off the engine and step out of the car, I don’t move a muscle. You move to my side of the car and open it, beckoning to come down. I stare at you as though you were crazy.
“I’m not coming down, Brad” I say sternly not looking at your eyes because they are quite strange and I feel very uncomfortable staring into them.
“C’mon Janaya. You’ll love it, honestly” you plead.
You gave me no hint where we were going. If I knew it was here, I wouldn’t have come. You stretch your hands to help me out and I find myself taking it. Your palm is soft and warm: I like the feel. I step out of the car and you close the door behind me. Holding my hand gently, you lead me to the cleared area in the open field. The evening wind is picking up. I’m glad I wore my pink sweater and you wore your leather jacket. I love your look in it. You sit on the grass and pat close by for me to sit. Great! Just great, I think and shake my head ever so slightly. I sit and fold my legs till they touch my chest and wrap my hands around them. You are already lying comfortably with your back to the ground and your hands folded behind your head as you gaze at the stars and smile.
“I love the stars they are beautiful. I thought you’d love it too.” You say.
I don’t say a word; I just sigh and look down at the ground. I don’t love the stars, I don’t love anything beautiful, and anything everyone notices. I don’t love things people appreciate. I only love things like myself. Things that have tried so hard to be noticed but end up being unappreciated and ignored. You sit up abruptly and shift closer to me.
“Show me your palms” you say
“What? What for?” I ask completely surprised.
“Let me read them.”
“Are you some psychic freak” I show you me palm.
“I’m not; I only know how to read people.”
Christ! What I have gotten myself into, I wonder.
“Jenna” you call. I’m appalled, no one has called that name in years, and they’ve probably all forgotten it’s my name.
“Don’t worry I completely understand, only you father used to call you Jenna. But then he ran away and left you and your mum. And your mum hates you because you remind her of your dad. But you want her to love you, you try your best to please her but it’s all in vain, she’ll never stop hating you. Everyone thinks you’re a weirdo just cuz you’re the quiet girl who has no friends. You know it’s not like you’re weird at all, you’re just a girl neglected by her mother and by everyone. She never wants you around, wishes she could rid of you. You feel like a nobody cuz nobody notices you even when you scream at the top of your voice. You think you’re ugly cuz everyone looks at you so and your mother says so. To you the world is dark and unhappy .You’re wondering if I’m only trying to hurt you too cuz no one seems to like you. You’re surprised at me. Over the years, you’ve learned to stay where they placed you – under the stone, and blend, trying to stay out of others’ way. Since nobody wants you around, then you won’t stay around when you don’t have to, you reason. Isn’t it true, Jenna Janaya Stephens?”
I’m in tears and dumbfounded. I know you couldn’t have read that in my palm. No way!
“you didn’t’ read that from my palm” I manage to say.
“No, I read it from your eyes.”
“I never told you my name is Jenna”
“Then maybe someone else did”
I can see sympathy in your eyes as you reach to clean the tears off my cheeks.
“It’s time you learned to know that you got value and that the world is not as ugly and dark as you think. At least you’re one thing beautiful in it. And look even in the darkness of the night, God still put the moon and the stars to lighten it up. Not even the night is dark. It depends on how you decide to see it.” You explain and the lower your lips to kiss mine.
It’s been two hours that we’ve been gazing at the stars together. I must admit, the night sky is kind of beautiful and I LOVE it. Funny thing is I never loved anything beautiful but this night with you has made me love four things.
I’ve learned to love your look in that in that leather Jacket of yours, Learned to love the beautiful night sky, learned to love your kiss cuz it makes you feel special and I’ve learned to LOVE YOU.
Now I’ve learned to love four beautiful things. Maybe, just maybe, I may learn to love the world and its beauty.