She woke up some two hours later just as the bus pulled up in front of their hotel. She pulled herself off the couch and stood, looking out the window at the already forming crowd of fans. She turned to the overhead compartment and pulled her purse and suitcase down quietly, trying to keep from waking Ayden. She silently padded to the front of the bus and down the stairs. The double doors hissed open, and the small group began thrusting pens and glossy photographs and albums at her. She accepted a black sharpie from one of the fans and began scribbling her signature on the pictures and albums that reached out in front of her. She handed the sharpie back and rushed into the safety of the hotel. She paused by the check in desk to grab her room key and headed for the elevator. Again she turned heads as she walked to the elevator near the door. It was, thankfully, a self operated one. She pushed the button for the twenty-third floor and waited patiently as the elevator moved soundlessly up the shaft. It slowed as the approached her floor and finally stopped to part its massive doors. She stepped out into a vacant hallway and headed for the door at the end of the short hall. She noticed that there were only three other doors on this floor. She reached her door and slid the key card into the lock, pushing the door open when it clicked. The room was magnificent. The two outside walls were completely glass and they held a spectacular view of the ocean outside the hotel room. She stepped out on the spacious balcony and smelled the salt rising up from the water not fifty yards from the hotel. She turned her face up to the sky relishing the warmth and peace that radiated from her surroundings. She turned and strolled back into her room and into the massive bathroom. A hulking, tiled shower held promise of shampoo and cleanliness that resonated like a siren call. She turned the water on and pulled a towel out of the linen closet next to the shower. Per her request, there was a bottle of black-raspberry body wash and shampoo in the shower on the built in stone shelf. She found a wash cloth and stepped into the shower, letting the warm water and steam swirl soothe her sore muscles. The scent of the blackberry body wash filled the shower as she scrubbed at her skin. She stepped back under the water and watched as soap bubbles swirled in foamy white eddies around the drain in the center of the shower floor. The shampoo flowed out of the bottle in a thick lavender stream into her palm. She massaged it through her hair in thick foam and rinsed it under the cooling water. She quickly shaved her legs and under her arms before turning the water off and stepping out of the shower. She towel dried her arms and legs before rubbing lotion on her skin. She wiped the steam off the mirror and ran a hand through her short hair. She retrieved hair mousse and her toothbrush from her toiletries bag in her suitcase. She reached for the blow dryer attached to the wall and turned it on low. It shrieked loudly as she dried her hair into its messy style. Once it was dried she brushed her teeth meticulously and pulled her eyeliner out of its bag. Once she had thickly lined her eyes and applied her mascara she left the bathroom and walked out into her bedroom. She had her suitcase laid open on the king size bed at the center of the room with her shirts carefully stacked and separate from her stack of blue jeans and underwear. She pulled out a ripped up Ed Hardy printed t-shirt and a pair of shredded black skinny jeans to wear with her Chuck Taylor’s. She grabbed her wallet and her room key and walked back out of her room and down to the lobby. She slid her sunglasses on and bounced back up to the bus to find Ayden leaned up against the side talking to a fan as he signed an autograph for him. He handed it back and shook the guy’s hand before walking to Silver.
“Ready to go?” he inquired.
“I am, but where’s our ride?” she asked looking around.
“No ride, just walking today.” He said walking down the sidewalk away from her.
“Where are we going?” she asked as she ran to catch up with him.
“I was thinking we could hit some local tourist shops and hit the boardwalk.” He said as she desperately tried to keep up with his long stride. Seagulls cried overhead as they strode down the sidewalk to the main tourist drag.
“Where to?” she inquired.
“I think I want a corndog.” He said, eyeing a nearby stand. He ordered two while she wandered towards the Strong Man meter. The man working it whistled as she walked by, causing her to stop and flip him off. Ayden caught up with her and passed her a corn dog already striped with mustard. She nibbled as she took in the sights of the boardwalk, enjoying the child-like energy that radiated all over the strip. Ayden finished his quickly and stopped to play at the ring toss, winning a giant stuffed tiger, which he gave her.
After several games and bags of cotton candy, she led him to the Ferris wheel at the very end of the pier. The sat down in the slick metal seat and waited while the attendant came by to secure the bar on the car they were in. The seat swung a little as they were lifted up off the ground.
“This was an amazing day Ayden.” She said as she gazed out across the night darkened ocean.
“I’m glad you had fun.” He laughed. She gasped as the car jerked to a stop at the summit of the wheel.
“I did kick your *ss at bumper cars though.” She smiled.
“Only because I let you.” He replied. She rolled her eyes, laughing at his comment.
“Whatever helps you sleep at night.” She said, leaning her head on his shoulder. He sighed and slid his arm around her shoulder, pulling her closer to him.
“I’m thinking about getting some new ink.” He said as his fingers lightly traced the filigree on her arm, raising goose bumps along her arm.
“Where?” she asked, turning to look at his face. He was looking over her head across the black expanse of water. He flipped his free arm over and showed the clear space on the underside of his forearm.
“I’m thinking about getting the band logo and some other work here.” He said, now looking down at his arm. She nodded and considered his new plans.
“Let’s go together then.” She chirped, suddenly craving new skin art.
“Maybe we should get matching ink done.” He laughed. She paused for a moment.
“Yeah, let’s do that.” She said looking at him. He looked down at her and smiled.
“Ok, but tomorrow, we’re going to have more fun.” He pulled her in closer and tucked her head under his chin. The car swung a little bit and the wheel started turning again, lowering them back down to the boardwalk. The attendant unhooked the bar in front of them and let them off the ride. Ayden looped his arm around her waist and led her down to the beach. Silver sat down in the sand and pulled off her shoes and t-shirt. She emptied her pockets and tossed the contents on top of the pile her shirt and shoes had made before sauntering off into the tepid water. She. Little salty waves lapped at her toes as she reached the place where land ended and water took over. She waded farther in to the ocean, loving the feel of the cool water against her skin. She went waist deep and then stopped, staring out across the midnight blue water as little waves fell and broke against her pale skin, raising goose bumps. She felt Ayden’s strong arms wind around her waist, pulling her up against his bare chest. She turned and faced him, throwing her arms up around his neck.
“I had fun tonight.” She said, smiling up at him.
“Me too.” He laughed. She let her fingers trail down his collarbone, down to the black celtic knot-work he had tattooed over his heart. He leaned his forehead against hers, sighing heavily.
“So nothing really happened with that girl from Austin.” She asked, not daring to meet his eyes, too engrossed in tracing the delicate lines of his tattoo. He stepped back and held her at arms length.
“Of course not.” He stuttered. “She’s not…” he stopped. His arms fell against his sides and he looked away from her.
“She’s not what Ayden?” she asked, reaching for him. She drew closer to his rigid body, wrapping her arms around his waist when she reached him.
“It’s nothing. She’s just not my type is all.” He sighed heavily. He pulled her closer and pressed a kiss on her forehead, making her shudder internally. She felt so safe with him. So why can’t I say it?
“Ayden I…” she tried to finish her thought but the words died on her lips. I can’t tell him, it might ruin this.
“What?” he murmured against her dampened hair.
“I think we should, umm, get back. We have a show tomorrow.” She could feel the words come but she barely registered what she said. His presence was intoxicating and suddenly she was very aware of her imperfections. So many scars. Not pretty enough for him. He doesn’t see you that way. The little voices whispered and taunted her.
“I wish I knew what you were thinking.” He whispered.
“No you don’t.” she laughed. “If I tell you everything, then there’s no mystery left.” She pulled away and headed back to the shore. She stepped back onto the dry sand and felt it stick to the hems of her jeans and all over her wet feet. She pulled her shirt over her head, the fabric clinging to her damp skin. She looked out across the water, watching silver rays of moonlight dip into the water and reach out to bathe everything in cool light.
“Ready to go?” he asked. She was again acutely aware of their proximity and her feelings of inadequacy grew deeper.
“Yeah.” They began their walk away from the beach and back to their hotel room. They parted ways on their floor and she stumbled into her room, sadness enveloping her heart. She pulled her soaked clothes off and tossed them into a pile, shivering as the cold air hit her still damp skin. She pulled a camisole, an old sweatshirt and pajama pants on. She went to sit on the massive stone balcony attached to her room, sinking into the cushy deck chair facing the sea. She didn’t hear the door click open. She didn’t see the pain in his eyes as he watched moon silvered tears slip down her cheeks. She felt his calloused thumb wipe away the hot tears as they fell from her eyes. He held her close and let her cry, never asking why she was crying, only holding on tight. She wiped at her tears with her sleeve, feeling stupid that he had to see this.
“Adding breaking and entering to your rap sheet?” she tried to laugh but it came out as a hiccup. His hand brushed away the strands of hair sticking to her cheeks.
“No, I used a key. It’s interesting what you can get for twenty bucks and an autograph. As it turns out, the manager had a spare key to your room and I wanted to check on you.” He said, trying to soothe her. Her breathing evened and the tears stopped falling.
“I’m fine.” She said into his shirt.
“Yeah, I can see that.” He stroked her cheek lightly with his thumb. She breathed in his scent, her cheek lying against his chest. “What happened?” he whispered. His eyes pleaded with her, begging her to tell him the source of her pain.
“‘s nothing.” She sniffled. He sighed heavily, frustrated she assumed.
“Silver, I know you and I know when something’s wrong.” He said quietly.
“I’m just tired I guess. Don’t worry about me.” She gave her best convincing smile but it was obvious he wasn’t buying it.
“No you’re not. I know what you’re like when you’re tired, and this is not tired. This is hurt and I want to know why.” He held her close and she could hear his heart beating. She slid her arms around his ribs and pulled herself closer to him. She felt his arms tighten in response, loving how they felt around her. “You know I’ll always take care of you, right?” he asked, his breath ruffling her hair a little.
“I know.” She felt a smile bloom across her face, her pain once again eased by him. I really do love him the thought skipped across her mind unbidden. He pulled one of her hands to his lips and pressed a delicate kiss into her palm and again she shivered at such sweet contact. She traced his face with her fingers, her eyes lingering on his lips. He closed his eyes, relaxed. She loved him, more than anything, she loved him.