Introduction | Teen Ink


June 21, 2010
By bgirlnumber4 GOLD, Vancouver, Washington
bgirlnumber4 GOLD, Vancouver, Washington
11 articles 11 photos 25 comments

Favorite Quote:
Be yourself, Everyone else is already taken

The feeling always haunted me, it made me unsure. Yet deep down inside I knew that I could do nothing to change what was to happen, even though I wasn’t even sure how it was going to happen. I never saw myself growing old. I hoped it was a normal thing with others, but deep down inside I knew it wasn’t. It didn’t help that I had also predicted other things by just getting simple feelings or ideas. It had become easy to ignore the thoughts of what was to come, but it only made it worse once I had to face the facts. And that’s where I will begin my story.

It was the morning of my senior year, I had practically transformed over the summer, gaining both curves, while also losing weight. Not to mention the embarrassing acne that had plagued me since seventh grade had finally diminished into an occasional pimple here and there. My skin freshly tanned, I was fully rested, and ready to begin my senior year. While checking my appearance in the mirror, I made a silent promise to myself. “This is going to be a new year, and I am going to make it the best!” I kept to that promise although some may say otherwise, my senior year was the best year of my life.

My outfit fit my new persona perfectly, a pair of shorts, to show off my newly tanned and fit legs, a cute top that fit my newly found curves, and to finish it my hair was exactly how I wanted it to be. Some may say I am conceited when I say that, and yes it may sound that way but it was the first time I had actually ever felt at peace with my body, and I loved it.

When I got to first period, I noticed that there was a seating chart, as I found my way to my seat I noticed I was sitting next to a very handsome boy. I couldn’t help but take another peek after seeing him the first time. He was about six feet tall which was absolutely amazing! His hair was blond, and he had blue eyes that you could get lost in if you looked long enough. Not to mention he was tan and very muscular. So as I described this boy was very handsome. As I sat down the boy turned towards me and flashed a smile that could stop a heart.

“Hey, my names John.” he said this while keeping that breath catching heart melting smile.

“My names Sara, I haven’t seen you before, are you new here?”

“I moved from California over the summer,”

“That’s interesting I love California, why would you move here?”

“Oh, um, my parents died in a car accident, I had to move to my aunts.” He looked down, the smile leaving his face and at that moment I wanted to slap myself because it seemed like all chances of getting this guy were shot now.

“Attention! Attention everyone, come on Jason stop messing around!” Mrs. Desder had not patience for anyone goofing around. Some may see her as harsh, but as soon as you spend time with her you soon realize she is really a big softy. Mrs. Desder was my English teacher my sophomore year, everyone had seen the my class as hopeless individuals who only goofed off. But once Mrs. Desder stepped in and whacked us into line we all proved them wrong.

“As you all might already know, you have each been selected to be in the advanced Journalism course. And along with this you will gain many responsibilities. There will be new assignments, and most importantly even if you are in this class you have no guaranteed spot in the news paper. You have to work for your spot and the only way we can keep this class is if you try. I hope you realize the importance of the position you all have been placed into. You are now the leaders of River View Highs Newspaper now don’t go and screw it up” with that Mrs. Desder had a way of getting to the point and being done with it. I could tell she got annoyed when Mr. Falkner would walk in and start giving us lectures on things we never did. You see, Mrs. Desder had a schedule to keep to and if she didn’t then she knew that we would fail. So therefore Mrs. Desder disliked anything that got in her way. Secretly I wished to be like her someday.

Well if you looked around the room after she said this you noticed that some of the students look like they had just seen a ghost. Especially Jason who was the class clown, we all knew that he was going to be having a very tough time with this class. Yet with the occasional fearful looks there was some with looks of pure excitement and luckily one of those looks was coming from John.

The author's comments:
this is the beginning of a novel that i am writing, I need some good feedback on how it sounds and what could be changed! thanks for reading!!

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This article has 2 comments.

on Jun. 30 2010 at 4:45 pm
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1752 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

I think this story was really cute, interesting plot-line.  A few grammatical errors, but it happens.  Great job.  Please write more!

Btw, will you check out and comment on my work?

TuffGurl said...
on Jun. 29 2010 at 6:43 pm
some grammatical errors, like when you have a sentence like "I moved from California over the summer," and it's one paragraph by itself, the comma should be a period. It's seems a little amateur, but an okay story line. You kept mentioning how she was improved over the summer, and I think just once or twice is okay but don't do it like you did in the beginning... it seemed like you mentioned it at every time you could. Otherwise... it's an okay story.