Dear Ex- Boyfriend,



I want you to know something and no I’m not pregnant, I didn’t cheat on you nor am I becoming your new step mom (Yet LOL!!!!!!!). I just want to thank you for everything. From the time when I dropped my books on purpose to check you out to when I curled into a ball in my room listening to India Arie and cried myself to sleep.



Now that time has passed and my tears finally dried I can honestly say thank you. Thank you for picking me up on Friday nights, for staying up til 3 am talking to me, for ignoring me in the hall, for being a jerk to me in front of your friends and for only seeing me at night. And I’m not trying to be sarcastic. I’m really thankful because you showed me that everything that sparkles isn’t real, it just has cheap shoe shine on it.



I know now that I do not only want better but I deserve better. I deserve someone to show me off to his friends, someone who will not be ashamed of me and wants to go out in the daylight with me. But most importantly I deserve someone who loves and respects me.







Sincerely Never Yours Again,









Ex-Girlfriend

P.S. Your mustache looks like a genetically mutated rat got stuck on top of your lip and died. It smells like it too.