Angel | Teen Ink


August 30, 2009
By traveler03 GOLD, San Juan, Texas
traveler03 GOLD, San Juan, Texas
14 articles 0 photos 21 comments

Favorite Quote:
Living is nothing. Dreaming is something.

The light summer breeze hit her face, blowing her hair forward as she staggered along the warm sand between her just-nail-polished toes. The small tides crashed onto the shore bringing and taking sand. A beautiful, mixture of a thousand colors, sunset stood at the end of the infinite ocean, far away from anyone’s reach. Seagulls flew over the sparkling water singing a melodious chanting as they dove into their prey.
People became rare to see as the time advanced, not bothering to discover the spectacular scene behind a place of diversion. Some jogged past by, hearing their iPods, while forming part of another world. Others gathered their stuff to depart home. At this time any other regular person would be found at home or public place where fun was actually to be found. Nonsense stuff held no importance in a person’s life. Thinking or watching a sunset or night sky illuminated by twinkling stars were for crazy people. That probably explained why she had nobody at her side gazing at fantasies from a lonesome place.
Land to walk on would soon disappear after the rocks came into view at the end. Time to go back to a world of despise for a girl arrived. No person out there like her existed even though the idea took courage to accept. Only the warm water and comforting stars were there to hug and hear her.
Suddenly, a noise came from behind the rocks. Something like a person shifting uneasily attempting to find the right spot. At this late hour no one would find themselves out there. A mysterious shadow appeared far away on the clear waters. Yet, it was visible for her to spot. An intriguing feeling swept over her at the thought of her. Amazingly, it did not include fear but curiosity and wonder. It led her to it to discover what it hid behind.
Slowly, she approached the intriguing figure without considering danger. The fact that someone similar to her existed in a world she lived in excited her.
As she finally neared, a tap on her left shoulder raised goose bumps and sent chills down to her toes.
She turned around to meet the most charming eyes she had seen in her life. They captured her eyes instantly, drew her under a spell, and the world stopped spinning around her. He seemed too beautiful to belong to a cruel world. This was no place for him or the type of company for him to have. Nothing existed anymore except for the dazzling guy standing in front of her. In her life, had she met a most handsome guy that even tapped her on the shoulder. So many times did she dream about a Prince Charming starring at her. It felt so unreal and dream-like to experience something taken out of a fairy tale.
There was no movement in her body. Her heart no longer beat. She felt pretty sure she did not breathe either. The spell brought her under a mixture of emotions she never felt. But she knew one thing. Someone was there. WITH HER.
“Did I scare you?” he asked concerned seeing she did not move.
All life inside of her seemed to stop at his charming voice. She wanted to speak normally without stuttering like other times but it was too hard this time. “Um…no…no…no. It was just a little surprising. Usually…”she paused trying to tranquilize herself. “Usually…there’s…well…like no one here during this time.”
The fact did not cause any surprise in him. It was so strange for that to not happen. Yet, he didn’t have the looks from anyone here. “I don’t go somewhere because someone doesn’t consider it cool to be at. All those comments are lame and if someone pretty girl says it everyone ends up following her. It could not even be their will. It’s just nonsense. What’s your opinion?”
Everything about him captured her. She was now the target of his magnetic powers. Not every day did some guy tell you his opinion about other people after seconds of meeting him. To be honest, she did not feel exactly alive when having a person who thought like her in front of her eyes. Something about him sent chills down her spine uncontrollably. “I wouldn’t be talking to you if I thought another way.”
He gave her a warm smile. “Well, I’m glad you and I think the same way. I didn’t expect a pretty girl to think that way.”
I felt my cheeks flush and wished they’d stop. Then, a strange feeling about him swept over me. “I don’t know but it seems like I’ve known you from somewhere else.”
“Maybe. It’s up to you. You’re very unique and maybe you haven’t taken notice of that,” he told her softly. “Anyways, I wanted to ask you if you wanted to take a walk with me.”
Her heart pounded loudly. Butterflies in her stomach tickled wildly. “Um…sure,” she responded while covering the excitement inside me.
The answer pleased him and he followed right beside her.
They walked in silence for a couple of seconds just starring at their toes sinking into the warm sand. A while ago she had gone through this by herself and always expected it to be like that. Nevertheless, surprising minutes changed that fact.
“So…” he said kicking some sand to my feet.
She giggled quietly throwing him some sand as well. “So…”
A crooked grin of his almost threw her to the ground but he prevented the fall with his two hands. “So… why do you walk alone at this time? Don’t you have like a boyfriend or admirer somewhere? I mean someone so pretty could not be alone right now?’
She coughed loudly at the kindness of his comments. “Maybe because I don’t have any.” Out of the corner of my eye I saw a glow in his eye but disappeared immediately. “And why are you alone? Where’s your companion? Anyone would think you are good-looking and follow you anywhere?” She couldn’t help thinking what a guy with such looks would do with her.
He laughed at what he considered some joke. “I’ll accept the compliment but not the rest.”
“Well, can I ask you why you’re even talking to me?” she asked curiously.
“I’ve meant to before but I never got the courage. You never seemed to notice me.”
Anyone would have spotted him. She was not dumb to not notice him a mile away. “Sure. You don’t even look from around here. How could you have seen me?”
He raised his eyebrow. “I was sometimes very close to you but you just never took notice until now. I always came here and tried to acquire your attention. It never worked though.”
“Trust me. You’d be very hard to miss.”
“You’ll never understand. Let’s just leave it like this,” he explained with a secure tone. “Let’s talk about you. What do you like to do?”
She thought for a brief second before responding. “Watching movies and coming here.”
“One thing in common. I just hope one day we’ll get to do the other thing,” he said gloomy.
Was that a date he was asking me to or a misinterpretation of his words?
Her mind spun crazily at the idea of having a date with this charming guy. She found it hard to believe such thing happening to me in one single day. Countless times she dreamt of someone crashing into my life by full surprise, not caring about what others thought of her. Now, it seemed like everything once in a fairy tale story came into life.
There was no way she could direct herself to his eyes when she revealed what she had in mind. She looked down to keep him from noticing the red bright cheeks in a few moments. “I’d like to do that some day. But most likely you’ll lose any interest in me after someone laughs at you for being with me.”
He raised her head with his soft delicate hands to meet my eyes with his. “You don’t have to worry about that. I thought I told you I don’t care about others’ opinions,” he explained quietly. “And hopefully we don’t have to wait so long,” he added.
The murky clouds casting darkness within me disappeared at the beautiful chime of his words. I smiled. “Sure. If you say so,” she said uncertainly.
“Do you doubt me?”
She thought of his query for a second. Her doubt related to his presence in the future. Anything could occur resulting in his depart. How did she know if to rely on him? The wonderful moment could only last this one afternoon. “You won’t be here all the time. You’re probably here only for a while. Besides, this town is not for a guy like you.”
He wrapped his arm around her. For once in my existence, she belonged somewhere without any exclusion. A warm sensation overcame her defeating all distrustful thoughts. Somehow she trusted him. This never-existing confidence came within minutes of meeting him. Yet, she didn’t regret it.
“I’ll always be here. I’ll be at your side as long as you let me. I’m not planning to leave in a long while.”
Nothing of what he said made sense. This perfect guy could not completely be real. An instinct told her he hid something. She had no proof in all these wild ideas.
She began creating a distance between him and me. He realized this when it took a stretch to have his arm around her. “Are you scared of me? I can assure you I’m not going to do any harm to you.”
His face felt like a trap. She looked ahead to escape his dazzling eyes. “Um…no. I’m just curious of why you could say you want to be with me. If you were me you could feel a little weird. It just doesn’t seem right. You know what I mean?” she tried reasoning.
He took a breath. She could sense something wrong with him. All this time she knew none of this could be completely true. Nevertheless, she pushed herself to accept this all as true. “I have something to say. Something here is not completely true. I wanted you to consider it but you’re too smart to let yourself be convinced by someone. That’s why I admire you. I know you’ll probably not want to talk to me anymore and I won’t reproach you either. I’m not what I seem like.”
Her heart sank. Darkness invaded her world again. All hope vanished with his spoken words. Then, a dreadful sensation filled her, taking her to a place of doom and darkness, where no light shone at the end like it did once. His delicate face once shown but now a fear overcame his eyes. He didn’t look right anymore. Tension grew amid the smell of coastal waters dominating all aromas in the thin air. Fright took her slowly, not allowing her to consider the awkward situation.
So delicately, he placed his hand on her shoulder as to comfort her and to lead her out of the dreadful place she entered. A gloom soon appeared on his perfect face. An aching pain struck her violently at the sight.
With a long breath, he began to say, “Don’t be scared. I promise you I’m not here for any harm. Let me just explain this weird or how you call this situation. It was not meant for it to happen like this but you took me by surprise before I could quickly act against it. Like I said before, I’ve always been here.” He paused trying to get me to look at him for at least an instant. He gave up after I didn’t. “I’m not exactly alive but not exactly dead either. I’m what you call in the middle of life and death.”
I still didn’t move. A shock paralyzed me to the once-warm sand holding me down to the earth. “So…what are you saying? Or more specific…why are you here with me?”
“I’m on a mission to direct myself to afterlife. After all this I’ll be able to go without any interruptions. After I have showed you what to look forward I can move on.”
Every word drove her further and further into a tunnel of perplexity where she couldn’t find the key to the right door. “Well that’s easy because I already know where I’m going to…my house and continue my life without caring about anything. So don’t worry anymore. Go on. I don’t care,” she lied. All the fantasies came down in only moments. It hurt to think he wasn’t even alive when he seemed so real.
“I know I’m done but I can’t leave now. Well, at least I don’t want to. I can’t imagine going somewhere without you. Ever since the first day I saw you walking here you caused something in me.” Her heart pounded faster and faster. She didn’t know what to expect from a half –a –life guy. “I…um…”
Suddenly, the dream she frequently had almost every night swept her from the ground. He had been the person accompanying her when she felt so alone at times. He had been there close to a year. But all in dreams. How many times hadn’t she wanted to keep dreaming, not wanting to wake up to another sunshine through her window?
“I…I remember you. You…are…the person who’s been there…with me.”
He smiled innocently and sheepishly at the same time. The fact of her recalling pleased him. “I’m glad you finally remember event though mostly it was only in a dream. I always looked forward to every night but now you’ll be gone but that’s how it’s supposed to be.”
He began walking away from me. She felt the distance between him and me become bigger and bigger like it soon would be. Besides, she had to adjust to this fact. Little did she know him in real life but his presence in the past kept her going through every obstacle. “I don’t want that to happen. I haven’t wanted to either but there’s nothing I can do,” he whispered.
He grabbed both of her hands in his. She saw the glow in his fleshing skin with the sunset rays of the evening. Life didn’t proclaim itself from him but a world of doom that he tried to escape so many times. Then, everything became a blur around her. Their faces got closer and closer to each other but the fear of him disappearing prompt her to do something almost impossible. Both their lips touched very softly until they felt alive and not ghost-like. Life filled his eyes after she moved away.

She became shock when she pulled away. “You’re…you’re…alive.”

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This article has 29 comments.

on Oct. 13 2012 at 11:59 am
PatientSoul BRONZE, A Place, California
4 articles 0 photos 12 comments

Favorite Quote:
"We accept the love we think we deserve."

There were a couple grammar mistakes, but besides that, I like the concept. I feel like you should continue this story.

on Jan. 23 2012 at 3:42 pm
Goddess PLATINUM, Connellsville, Pennsylvania
27 articles 0 photos 73 comments

Favorite Quote:
“Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today.”

i like this. its good

on Dec. 30 2011 at 9:56 am
Jappyalldayeveryday, Detroit, Michigan
0 articles 0 photos 163 comments

Favorite Quote:
They say that good things take time, but really great things happen in the blink of an eye

This had many grammatical errors, but if you fixed that it wold be a good story.

on Oct. 3 2011 at 5:49 pm
ChocoMint SILVER, Bloomington, Indiana
7 articles 0 photos 129 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Love is like swallowing hot chocolate before it has cooled off. It takes you by surprise at first, but keeps you warm for a long time." - Anonymous

"Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear." - Anonymous

Great job, love the plot.  You had a few pronoun confusions.  i.e.  "my" for "her" etc.  keep it up.  <><


on Sep. 11 2011 at 7:42 pm
bubbagump96 GOLD, Frederick, Maryland
11 articles 0 photos 18 comments

Favorite Quote:
"A friend shares their umbrella. A best friend grabs it and yells 'Run, Forrest, run!'".

I love that story!! You should continue it... I'd like to know what happens to them. :) 

on Sep. 11 2011 at 7:26 pm
Rocinante SILVER, Wexford, Pennsylvania
7 articles 1 photo 386 comments
Wow. Strange in a cool way. But I got kind of confused, you kept jumping back and forth between first and thrid person saying "she" one moment and then "I" or "me" the next. Did you mean to do that or was it an accident? Other than that, great story. I agree with NKsunshine that it is very original! :)

on Aug. 5 2011 at 1:19 pm
NKsunshine BRONZE, Palatine, Illinois
1 article 0 photos 75 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I don't need easy, I just need possible!" ~Bethany Hamilton

This is reallly sweet and orginal;)

Tayrl BRONZE said...
on Apr. 10 2011 at 10:16 pm
Tayrl BRONZE, Rockhampton, Other
4 articles 2 photos 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon

:3 aww that was so adorable!

on Apr. 10 2011 at 5:16 pm
ClaraRose SILVER, Glasgow, Other
7 articles 0 photos 108 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It's not what we are born, but what we grow to be."

"you think that because I am Poor, Obscure, Plain and little, that I am Soulless and Heartless. I have just as much soul as you and full as much heart"

It is a very good story, well written and everything but what i don't get is, why would she and in return he, talk to each other as if they were best friends but don't even know each other.

on Jan. 12 2011 at 10:58 am
PoetLaureate07 PLATINUM, Aberdeen, Mississippi
32 articles 0 photos 246 comments

Favorite Quote:
To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing..

i really really love this!! try to keep a steady point of view though.. but the story.. just oh so amazing!! please please keep working!! this is a wonderful story.. dont give up.. ever!

on Oct. 16 2010 at 8:41 am
sabina22 BRONZE, Glen Mills, Pennsylvania
1 article 0 photos 47 comments
awesome, really well done! definitely keep on writing! :)

trblue GOLD said...
on Oct. 11 2010 at 8:16 am
trblue GOLD, Richmond, Virginia
14 articles 7 photos 141 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Too often we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown. It only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and slap that mother@#?!&* upside the head. "

over the summer i pulled some teenink stuff off the internet, and this pice of work was decided. i wrote notes about how i love your work, but i cant read thim. so keep up the good work.

on Jun. 22 2010 at 4:31 pm
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1752 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

This was a great piece, although I agree, the switching between first and third was confusing.  Nice job, though.  Awesome work.  Keep writing!

Btw, anyone who sees this, will you check out and comment on my work?

on Jun. 22 2010 at 12:28 pm
fyreflies BRONZE, Randolph, Wisconsin
4 articles 0 photos 47 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." Doctor Suess
"Oh, of course it doesn't hurt to slide in softball." (before I tore up both knees and before I slapped that person)
"Stay with me here now/And never surrender" Skillet

Huzzah! He lives. :D

Wow, what a moving piece. I love it. This would be a great thing to interpret in a song or a poem. I like your style, though sometimes, you switch between third and first person. I got a bit confused by that. But...I like it. It's really neat.

on Apr. 17 2010 at 9:28 pm
.:Echo:. BRONZE, Austell, Georgia
3 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Im smiling, that alone should scare you."
"I'm not evil..I'm good with a twist."
"Sometimes you just have to stop and smell the crayons."
"Good friends don't let you do stupid things..alone."
"I dream of a better world where chickens can cross roads without having their motives questioned."
"It's all fun and games till someone gets hurt.. Then it's hilarious."
"Team Jacob. I like my guys with a pulse thank you."
"I never got my letter from Hogwarts so I'm packing up and moving to Forks to live with the Cullen's."
"No camera could catch the look in her eyes and the feeling in her heart when she looks at him."
"I love how you make me laugh when I don't even want to smile."
"If I had to chose between you and breathing, I would chose you and then I would use my last breath to tell you "I love you."
"And he asked “Is everything okay?” and she blinked away the tears and said, “Yeah, I’m totally happy for you.”
"In Kindergarten we learned about cooties, in middle school we learned about relationships, and in high school we learned the definition of heartbreak."
"Sometimes when I say “oh I’m fine” I just want you to look me in the eyes and say “tell the truth.”
“He looked at me and said “do you ever feel like you’re working for something you’re never going to get? A shoot + miss kind of deal. Like no matter what, you just can’t have it, but that makes you fight for it just a little bit more?” I looked at him, stared at him for just a second and said “everyday.”
"Never say I love you if you don’t really care. Never talk about feelings if they aren’t really there. Never touch a life if you mean to break a heart. Never say you’re going to if you’re not planning to start. Never look me in the eye when all you do is lie. Never say hello is all you mean is good-bye."
"We don’t talk anymore and I don’t understand why. It’s like you gave me wings and told me it was illegal to fly."
"My friends and I are the kind when a house burns down; we’re roasting marshmallows and crushing on the firemen."

I love this piece, especially how you describe things so vividly. The only problem I had with this is that sometimes you confused person with person. You used her/him when you were supposed to use I, and I found it hard to follow that way. Your writing program might not have reconized it, but try going back after you write pieces and reading them aloud. I've done it myself, and you truly find many mistakes that way. But anyways, great piece, and keep on writing! :)

on Apr. 17 2010 at 6:01 pm
Lovejunkie123, East Meadow, New York
0 articles 0 photos 11 comments
be amazing my bad

on Apr. 17 2010 at 6:00 pm
Lovejunkie123, East Meadow, New York
0 articles 0 photos 11 comments
You are an amazing writer you should continue this i sure it will bw amazing

on Mar. 31 2010 at 1:27 pm
LittleRedWritingHood, Nfdslf, Hawaii
0 articles 0 photos 45 comments
Wow, you seriously need to get published! You're like... amazing! I love the description you used in this piece.

on Mar. 30 2010 at 8:40 pm
elfiewrites BRONZE, Hillsdale, New Jersey
3 articles 0 photos 114 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The seat of knowledge is in the head, of wisdom, in the heart."~William Hazlitt
"Be yourself, everyone else is taken."

Excellent! You are such a great descriptive writer! If you get the chance, may you please read and critique my work? Thanks so much

on Mar. 11 2010 at 4:46 am
TanazMasaba GOLD, Dhaka, Other
16 articles 10 photos 214 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching,
Love like you'll never be hurt,
Sing like there's nobody listening,
And live like it's Heaven on Earth."

---William W. Purkey

thats fine, this is really beautiful and what pleases me most is that there are people in this world who loves to write as much as i do. BTW, the girl you mentioned , she is so much like me!! I think the same way she does and moreover, i feel the same way she does!! wierd!!!