I'm walking through the desert but each grain of sand is a past memory of mine up ahead of me is what looks like a girl My dark brown eyes begin to try to make out the sight driven by curiosity my feet move faster I see her she's holding more suitcases then I could count and the girl….she's me but a younger and less damaged version I ask her “what's in the suit cases” she looks up and sits down I sit down next to her she lifts the top of one of the suitcases as soon as she opens it I feel a sharp wind and land on my back in the middle of what looks like a old baseball field this is a memory of mine but why wasn't it in the sand with the rest of them I turn and see the answer to my question its her.. a friend from long ago my heart skips a beat I remember what happens the girl rolls and plants a kiss on my cheek and runs off I stand up to chase after her but as soon as I do the memory dissolves and within a second and i'm in a new memory but in this one Im on a bridge, blue and red light is flashing all around me and my face and shirt are soaked in water a police officer in front of me says

 ”shes gone” I stare at her who was gone a sharp hand grabs my shoulder i'm in a school in this memory a boy is standing next to me behind him is the girl but she's bleeding I look at the boy he has a wide grin on his face he mouths to me

” it's too late” he pushes me back wards  I land on the soft padding of a bean bag i'm in a room this must be a different memory I think to myself I look around and see  the same girls there, she's laughing i need to say something to her but I can't remember what, her head turns to her door a women in a long black dress carrying a wooden cross in her hand she roughly grabs the girls arm and the girls screaming and reaching out for me I jump off the bean bag attempting to reach her but as soon as I do i'm in a new memory im standing beside a small river or some type of creek my phone illuminates my face only one text is on the screen it reads “Im sorry im leaving but its for the best you'll be happier this way” all these memories what do they mean and why are they in suitcases I feel the wind taken from my lungs as i'm dragged back to the dessert with the younger me 

“I don't understand” I blurt out the younger me moves a little further back it takes me a second but I realise there's something behind her back “what are you hiding?” she hesitates looking around I reach out and grab the handle she tries to tug it away from me I give one last pull and she lets go with a look of grief on her face I open the battered suitcase and am rushed into a memory this time im wearing a black dress am I at a funeral? I ask myself I begin to look around me up ahead there's a casket I feel a sinking feeling in my stomach I begin to march my feet to the front I stop right before reaching the casket because I feel a hand land on my arm it's the girls mom she's crying she hands me a note stained with ink it reads “I loved you and I always have but I can't do this anymore I hope you find someone that will love you just as much as I did please don't let this world ruin your gorgeous smile ok sincerely riley” I stop I feel my heart drop to my stomach I peer over the casket there she is her blonde hair leaking over the pillow her black dress highlights her light skin tone I place a hand on the casket and I begin to remember what happened she loved me but they needed there blue eyed blonde haired daughter to be perfect and in their eyes too girls in love is the end of the world so they sent her away for “help” I didn't see her for months and when she did come home she……. I look up im back in the dessert the younger me has her hands over her mouth and tears flowing from her eyes I now understand why these memories are in suitcases its because there my baggage

 ”How do I get rid of these” I ask impatiently the younger me stops and points ahead I see her the wind blowing through her blond hair makes it look like strings of pixie dust a long white sundress flows freely on her I stop pick up all the luggage and walk toward her she's beautiful she smiles and says

”let go” im starstruck

 “I cant..I cant forget you” she looks at me and laughs 

“you won't but these are killing you let go please” I feel hot streaks of tears running down my face 

“But what happens when I do” she glides her hand across my face 

“let go” I feel a sense of warmth that I haven't felt in a long time I take one last look at her and drop the bags as soon as they hit the ground everything goes black I open my eyes expecting to see myself in the dessert but I'm back in my bedroom but I feel better almost more free now that I know your more than just a memory to me