Calpurnia | Teen Ink

Calpurnia

May 20, 2016
By kaylalynn84 SILVER, Hutchinson, Kansas
kaylalynn84 SILVER, Hutchinson, Kansas
6 articles 0 photos 4 comments

"Breathe deeply," you tell yourself.  "It isn't real."  You push the thoughts into their box, duct tape it closed, and neatly store it under "Society," "Image," "Perfection," and "VOGUE."  

Three months later, it rains.  You scream in grief.  "Perfection" is ruined.  Now there are only three boxes holding down your thoughts.  

So you get a boyfriend.  Running to Social Media Lock Box, you grab one and name it "Boyfriend."  Smiling from ear to ear, you stuff it on the others.  

Hurricane Popularity rolls in.  It devastates your stash.  All that is left is in the form of illegible tissue-like paper.  Tears running down your cheeks, you go to your emergency cupboard and stack a 8 x 11 box called "Makeup" on the 30 x 30 box, "Thoughts".

Day by day, makeup covers you.  On the 11th day, a counselor notices some fresh pink nail marks on your hands.  Quickly, you sprint to "Makeup" and shake it up because it isn't working.  

December.  You have no hair.  You ripped it all out.  Your eyebrows are bushy, your shoes are $5 sandals from Walmart, and you lay under your bed, hiding from "Thoughts."  "Thoughts" started peeking out soon after Hurricane Popularity struck.  Eventually, like a monster under a child's bed, "Thoughts" grew so large it overpowered "Makeup."  The duct tape was frayed and warped from the rain of Hurricane Popularity, and on only day 15 of "Makeup" keeping "Thoughts" help down, the duct tape split.  

Deemed somewhere between miracle and disaster, "Thoughts'" lid fell off.  Similar to a black hole, it absorbed makeup.


The author's comments:

In "Calpurnia," I hope to put the reader in a situation where they have a mental disorder, struggle daily to hide it, and fit it under society's standards. My goal as an author is to shine light on the disorders not commonly spoken about.  I hope that by putting this short story out for people to read they can help change society's "standards" for mental disorders.  The mental disorder explored in this are: trichotillomania. 


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