“10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, blast off” the automated voice had said as we were launched into the sky.

“We” being my younger cousin Kieran and I, and why are two barely trained kids being launched into space to the moon, you ask. Well, that is a long unclear story, half of which is highly classified.  The name is mission Z, we’re not the only ones either, we’re just the first. In fact there are ten more kids on our ship but they’re in sleeper cells until we get to the moon. So, why are there a fifteen year old and a four year old awake when there are ten other fifteen year olds in sleeper cells? Well I was supposed to be the only one awake but I kind of, sort of, maybe, totally blackmailed the head of mission z into letting my cousin who I promised to take to the stars come with me.
But anyway, now that I’m in space I mean, wow. We can unbuckle now and just, float. It’s peaceful floating here in silent awe looking at all the stars, feeling infinitely insignificant. The beauty of the universe is overwhelming. The Zen moment of complete harmony with the universe is suddenly over, and I have a pang of guilt in my heart pulling me down. I mean the lies I had to tell to get here, the lies I’m still telling, the people I’ve hurt, the people I will hurt, is it worth it? Will it all be worth it? I hope so, so I ignore the feeling, I’ve gotten good at that. I look over at Kieran with his face against the window looking absolutely thrilled.
“Having fun yet?” I ask.
“Yeah” he says his voice soft, filled with astonishment.
This, I can’t even begin to call it night since it isn’t really, this bedtime I guess I should say I told Kieran a story to help him sleep. But the story didn’t help me sleep, something was gnawing away at my insides something I couldn’t ignore but eventually I drifted off into darkness.
“Beep, Beep, Beep, Beep” the alarm clock goes… at far too early for me to want to wake up.
“Oh, shut up” I yawn turning it off.
“Fona that’s a bad word!” say Kieran. Crud I forgot he was here, and that’s still a bad word to four year olds.
“I’m sorry Kieran, want some breakfast?” I ask, “I think its freeze dried ice-cream today, let me check the ration schedule.” I jumped off the bed and used the pole to pull myself down to the rations boxes. I opened the breakfast one and look at the schedule on the inside of the lid. Yep I was right freeze dried ice-cream, oh yeah. I handed Kieran a packet and grabbed one for myself then digged for an insta-coffee shake. Finally finding one I shaked it so the coffee flavor mixed in. I took a sip, disgusting, but I drank it anyway. The freeze dried ice cream was pretty good, and I made sure Kieran took all of his vitamins, as I took all of mine.
One more day to the moon, one more day. We still were amazed by the beauty of the stars but we got bored. Luckily I had the foresight that this would happen, so I brought art supplies, paint, pencils, papers, pens, markers, paint brushes, all sorts of stuff in case we got bored. So we sat on the floor and began to draw. Eventually Kieran wanted to dig into the paints so I grabbed some and sort of just squirted them in the air and let them float, which was so cool to see, blobs of paint, just floating right in front of us. And suddenly I got an idea; I grabbed a paint brush for me and one for Kieran, took some paint and began to paint the ship. Not on the control panel or windows or anything like that, but on the floor and the walls. Kieran joined me covering the walls in painted doodles. We didn’t get bored of painting and we only stopped to have our lunch and dinner packets. Finally when it was bedtime we stopped and got pajamas on because our clothes were covered in paint.
The last day was upon us and soon we’d be at the moon, the breakfast packets were not freeze dried ice-cream today and therefore entirely less appealing. Today my excitement outweighed my guilt and pushed away the always present sense of oncoming dread. We were supposed to arrive at the moon a little after our lunch time. Three whole days in this shuttle and it felt like home, but we had to prepare for the landing a little bit and check everything so that kept us busy until lunch. After slurping down my lunch packets I begin to talk.
“Are you excited?” I ask.
“I’m going to the moon!!” says Kieran in an excited voice but kind of meaning duh I’m four and I’m landing on the moon in a spaceship with my older cousin who is awesome.
“Yeah” I say smiling as avoice comes in over the monitor.
“Z1 Alpha, come in” the voice says, its female and I’m pretty sure it’s Captain Joan who is already on the moon.
“Captain Joan?” I ask pushing down the button so she can hear me.
“Yes, you’re supposed to respond Affirmative Z1 Alpha responding.” She says slightly annoyed.
“Yeah, but I’m a smart-mouthed teenager who is born to make adults lives harder, not a robot.”
“I really don’t enjoy you sometimes,” she replies in a flat voice.
“Thanks, love you too, Captain,” I say smiling though she can’t see me, “so we’re pretty much ready we just have to y’know buckle in.”
“Cause that’s not important at all. Tell me when you’re ready for landing.” I double check everything and completely buckle Kieran in, then completely buckle myself in.
“Roger” I say pressing the button, “ready for landing.”
“Okay, you’re already in orbit. The descent will start in about twenty minutes.” The twenty minutes felt like forever but the descent passed in what seemed like seconds until we touched down on the mission z’s base. Once the doors above us closed the room was pressurized and the doors on our right opened. We opened the shuttle door of Z1 Alpha and walked out to meet Captain Joan.
“Have you woken up the rest?” she asked me in a judge-y voice like I hadn’t followed orders.
“Not yet, I was told not to, until given order by you.” I responded.
“Good we’ll do it later. You have all the building materials?”
“Yes, what did you think I chucked them into space?” I asked.
“I wouldn’t put it past you. Anyway come along, you too little one,” she said addressing Kieran too this time, who surprisingly had kept quiet while we were talking.
“Where are we going?” I ask.
“To suit up and go on the surface of the moon for thirty minutes.”
“Why?”
“Don’t you want to?” she answered.
“Yeah, but why?”
“Because everyone wants to, and you’ll just keep asking until I let you, so I might as well have you get it all out now.”
“Fair enough.” I say, “Guess what Kieran, we’re going to walk on the moon!”
“Really?!” he says more excited than actually asking. After we suit up we go out and run around jumping and exploring. I take out two vials and scoop up some moon dust in each, and pocket them. When our thirty minutes is over we come back in Captain Joan shows me my living quarters and has an extra bed set up for Kieran in it. Then she takes me back to the Z1 Alpha while Kieran plays in my room, I guess, I would call it. As we walk into the Z1 Alpha, I hear Captain Joan grumble in disapproval when she sees the painted floor and walls but she stays silent. As we reach the end of the main room I open the sleeper pod room door and duck as I walk in. Captain Joan nods at me to press the button to wake them up. As I press the button the lights come on and the pods open. The ten other fifteen year olds wake up yawning or blinking rapidly to adapt to the sudden light.
“Did you get a nice nap?” Captain Joan asks.
“Yes sir,” Angeline, the peppiest, most well behaved fifteen year old girl in the universe says saluting.
“Good,” Joan smiles. She likes obedient robots like Angeline. “Role call Abercrombie, Angeline”
“Here” she says saluting again.
“Brennan, Fiona”
“Not here” I say sarcastically. She glares.
“Jackman, Will”
“Yeah” he says in his scratchy voice.
“Lopez, Valerie”
“Yup” she answers.
“Morello, Giovanni”
“My name makes me sound so Italian” he says in his English accent.
“Perry, Alexander”
“I prefer Alex.” He says glaring, because he’s corrected her a million times before.
“Smith, Melissa”
“I’m here,” she says quietly.
“Talanov, Ana”
“As American girl said, yup,” she says with her   Russian accent.
“Thompson, Andrew”
“Present” he answers.
“Uppal, Octavia”
“Main yahaan huun, I am here,” she replies in Hindi and English.
“And finally Xiao, Ben”
“Present,” he answered. Captain Joan gave everyone a full tour of the base, and let them run outside for thirty minutes like she had let me and Kieran earlier. This time I stayed inside with her.
“So, what do you plan to do with those vials?” she asks.
“Oh, I was going to make Kieran and me matching necklaces.”
“Cute,” she smiles, “You’ll have to do it tonight. He leaves tomorrow.”
“Yeah…”
“You haven’t told him, have you.” It is a question, but it is said like a statement.
“I haven’t”
“He’ll find out soon that you’re not leaving with him.”
“I know, I just don’t know how to tell him. What else do we have tomorrow?”
“Preparation of building supplies and construction, but you knew that. You’re just changing the subject.”
“Yeah, I am.” I walk towards the others as they come in and take off their space suits.
It’s about bedtime and I go back to my room where Kieran is still playing and make our moon dust necklaces, I seal the vials so the dust can’t get out and attach them to chains. I hand it to Kieran and tell him that it is his very special necklace with a real piece of the moon in it. And he falls asleep clutching it in his tiny palm. I watch him sleep for a little while, and then close my eyes and drift off to sleep. The next morning I wake up and pack Kieran some art supplies and toys up in the Z Shuttle that he’s leaving on with two NASA engineers and three other astronauts on the base. Afterward I wake him up. I sneak a freeze dried ice-cream from the extra rations box, and we eat it for breakfast instead of the breakfast packets we were supposed to have.
“So Kieran, you know how you’re going back home today?” I ask dreading the rest of the conversation.
“Yeah, me and Fona going home,” he says smiling.
“That’s the thing Kieran, I’m not going home.”
“What?” he says, looking confused.
“I’m staying here in space.”
“Why?” he asks looking at me with big sad eyes.
“I have a job I have to do here, but I’ll be back,” I say.
“When will you be back?”
“It might be a long time,” I say and I see his eyes begin to tear, “don’t worry I’ll be back.”
“But I’ll miss you,” he says starting to cry.
“Come here,” I hug him, “listen, you see that necklace, the one I gave you. That has a little bit of moon in it, and every time you see it you’ll know that I have one just like it and I’m looking at it up on the moon thinking of you. And whenever you miss me or you’re feeling lonely you just look at that little bit of moon and remember Fiona is up on the moon looking at her little bit of moon thinking of you. Okay?”
“Okay” he says hugging me tight, “I love you, Fona.”
“I love you too, Kieran.” I say as a tear falls down my cheek.
And that was our goodbye. He left that day, right after that. The worst part is since he is so little and so sweet and our mission is so classified they put him in a sleep pod that night and woke him up at his home. And he woke up with his family at home who had no memory of his kindergarten taking him on a “vacation," because to them none of those seven days ever happened in their memories. And that was all just a dream he had, a dream about his older cousin who had gone missing eleven months ago, and was missing for far longer.