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A Recipe to get Fired
Ingredients
1 unstable teenager working at a large department store (Walmart is best)
2 shady accomplices
an overbearing and rude boss
a heap of misunderstanding
fistfuls of miniscule paychecks
a dash of insanity
a busy weekend at the store
insane amounts of steel cable
unrestricted access to a monstrous semi truck
mounds and mounds of zip ties
miles of bright colored duct tape
First, add the heap of misunderstanding and the dash of insanity to the already unstable teenager. Now introduce the teenager to the 2 shady accomplices. Sprinkle the overbearing and rude boss over the 3 teenagers to create a horribly unstable mixture. Place the miniscule paychecks in the wallet of the unstable teenager until he/she is red with rage. Now place the insane amount of steel cable and mounds and mounds of zip ties in the possession of the more than unstable teenager. Make sure the insane teenager has unrestricted access to a monstrous semi truck. Instruct the teenager to take the insane amount of steel cable and mounds and mounds of zip ties and tie the steel cable to the tops of as many shelves as possible with zip ties. For best results, complete recipe on a busy weekend. Tie the free end of the cable to the back of the semi. To ensure a loss of a job, use the miles of bright colored duct tape to make large arrows on the floors in the direction of the semi. Start the semi and have the teenager floor it. If the recipe was completed correctly, all shelves that were connected to the cables should fall, creating mass panic and destroying thousands of dollars of merchandise. The completion should result in a successful loss of a job and a boss that is guaranteed to never be a job reference in the future.
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