Past or Present | Teen Ink

Past or Present

June 4, 2014
By moveonandforgetwhathappened BRONZE, Park Ridge, Illinois
moveonandforgetwhathappened BRONZE, Park Ridge, Illinois
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It all started 6 years ago (I was 9 years old) that was the day I met my true love. We met at a little kids birthday party the kids name was Kevin. Kevin was a very annoying little kid, he irritated everyone that met him including me. The only reason why I went to his parties was so that I could get away from my mom, and to spend time with my cousins. I love my mom don’t get me wrong, but she meddles to much into my life that it starts getting annoying after a while. Being at my cousins house during the summer is fun, you meet more people and even if you're not doing anything just sitting outside it’s enough to keep you entertained for the whole day, you can just watch and see what people are doing.
The party was fun because I would just ignore Kevin and play with my cousins outside. After a while of us playing soccer we would go to the back yard to get some cake, then he got there he was so cute! I couldn't catch my breath when I saw him. It was and I quote “love at first sight!”. Love at first sight indeed. Ever since I met him I can't stop thinking about him. No matter what I did I couldn't get him out of my head. I kind of felt like he was thinking this quote “If you love something let it go, If it comes back to you it’s yours, If it doesn't, It never was, and it’s not meant to be” and if he did think this well I never was his. But then again he never really let me go, it wasn't his choice. I was the one that chose to not go back to that party, so that quote does not really apply to him and I. but what did apply was a song called “Future love” (it was like this.. couple of years and I'm gonna know your name ,it’s like I waited for you forever and I know this might sound insane...etc!) Its like the girl who sings this or whoever wrote this knew what was going on between him and I.
If you’re wondering why I don’t use his or my name --well my name doesn't really matter-- but his name, I never really found out what it was. I don’t know why, I mean every year I told myself that I had to ask him what his name was... every day before I went to the party I would practice what I was going to say but no I never asked him or he told me but I just can’t remember. After all this happened I stopped going, I didn't go back to him. Pretty much the reason why I didn't go back to him was because my aunt got into a horrible argument with Kevin's parents, this was the main reason why I stopped going to Kevin's birthday parties. another one was because I grew up.
Years passed and I did see him a couple of times but nothing big really. I bumped into him once or twice but nothing happened we didn't really talk because he was busy and so was I. I kept going there every summer after that but he was nowhere to be seen. I went to the park by his house, nothing it was like he disappeared. It’s been years since the last time we spoke and I still wish that I talked to him, I miss him so much It breaks my heart not knowing if I’ll ever see him again. In a way I do want to see him again but then again I don’t because it would hurt me if he does not remember me. but if I do see him again, I don’t know what I'll do or even say. I feel like if I see him again, my knees will tremble and shake with fear and excitement.
It is truly amazing how imagination works against reality, in my imagination I picture him and I meeting up with each other becoming best friends and after 2 weeks he asks me out. But in reality he and I have not crossed words since that last birthday party. We have seen each other I think I saw him last summer of 2011 but I don’t really know. I’m so confused and tired of waiting to see him again. I had 3 guys try to ask me out but I say I’m not in love with them because I’m scared of forgetting him. It may sound stupid, but I think I love him and I did fall in love with one of the guys, but I was so stubborn and childish that I didn't admit that I did like him and now he’s going out with my Friend. Come to think about it I am happy for her, but I also wonder how things would have turned out if I had given him a chance.



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