I’m an idiot. Just like everybody else in the store with me. We all did the stupid thing of waiting until just before Christmas to do our shopping. Like usual I let my job obliterate everything else that was going on in my life. Now I’m paying for it with blood, sweat, and tears. The blood from the clawing fingernails, the sweat from being packed and crammed together like a can of sardines, and the tears from the pepper spray that lady that was crammed next to me had (I swear it was an accident!). What can I say though? It’s always hard to get out of work. I’ve slept there more times then I can count. Heck, I rarely leave to get a fresh breath of air. Just another sad factor of the life of an intern.


I managed to get everything else on the list, this for Mom, this for Dad, and though I loathed it, this for Jared. Now just to get something for me, myself, and I. If anyone asks I’ll just say it’s for my uncle. Somehow I just managed get out of Belks (I practically needed a gas mask in the perfume section!). I find may out of the mall and walk past the people hocking stuff they bought minutes before for three times the price they bought it for.

2 hours later…

I. Am. A. Complete. Freaking. Genius. Not only did I park in the satellites, but in addition I also forgot where I parked. When I finally find it I turn the key in the ignition and get this, the car doesn’t start. I try again and again but to no avail. I scream in rage and smack the dash, and the car starts. Having now calmed myself I turn on classical music and drive away in silence.

I pull into the Wal-Mart parking lot and manage after a few minutes to net a spot near the exit. I turn the car off, step out and take in deep breath of the cool winter air, and carefully note where my car is. I walk into the store as the sun sets to my right and enter the anarchic scene before me. There people running all over the place some into store like myself while others making for the checkout. I think I see some crime scene tape and a few cops. That can’t be good. I walk past the aisles that are completely stripped of items and hope it’s still there.

I finally reach the electronics section and my heart sinks into the cold, empty pit of my stomach when I see that most of the shelves are empty. I search desperately for a few minutes, and then I see it, the very last Widget on the shelf. I make a break for it and a man about a row down alerted by urgency goes for it as well. I grab it just in time and make it down a side aisle to get away. When I turn into aisle I freeze at the sight before me. First a woman grabs a copy Red Dead Redemption off the shelf and then a woman next to her tackles her. I see a teenager at the end of the hallway start laughing his head off, then an employee who is supposed to be breaking up the fight starts laughing with him. The guy from earlier suddenly blows past me, grabs the game, and immediately makes for the checkout.

I laugh to myself and go to the checkout. On the way out I grab myself a magazine and a pack of gum. The sun has set completely as I walk out into the chilled night air and realize I forgot where I parked, again.