January 25th

It happened again. It happened again and I ran – ran as fast as I can, in need to get away. From my past. What does it matter anyway? I thought about this while I was at the pier and realized that it means everything. That it was my fault in the first place. My fault and no one else’s. If I didn’t leave…if I just stayed for another hour or so and kept an eye on Melanie…she would still be alive. Her and Anthony, they’re both gone and it’s all because of me…

If I wasn’t so worried about getting to Jacob’s house, my brother and my best friend…they’d still be around. Melanie would be here for our annual Movie Friday crying along with me as we watch Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan’s character meet for the first time – love in their eyes. And Anthony, he would barge in with a bucket of ice cream and Kleenex, thirty minutes late as usual. But no. I had to be selfish; I had to leave them behind – and for what? That idiot of a boyfriend.

So, yeah, I’m the reason. The reason why the two important people in my life are dead. And I’m all alone…with my mother gone and my alcoholic of a father in rehab… I have nobody. Absolutely nobody. But I guess those are the consequences, right?

Yeah, that’s what I thought.

x Amelia