Feeling like a lost soul; feeling like an unforeseen shadow that creeps around unheard, unseen and unfocused. Trying to find it's place, any place. Longing for want so bad that the agony of this wait brings pain and suffering each day. Thinking...all she can do is dream. Dream of the day that the wait will end. She hurts inside, hiding it with smiles and jokes...and laughter. Her laugh that convinces the world that her life is perfectly normal and that she doesn't hurt at all...but inside. Inside there's pain. Inside there's courage. Courage being held down by fear. FEAR! Fearing the world around her and the people in it. Fearing the future and what it holds if she lets courage dictate fear. Inside...there's love. Love for anyone who is willing to allow her to show her love to them. Very cautious with this action, for she has been hurt more than enough times. Having others abuse and mistreat her sacred love. Inside...there's tears; waterfalls of tears. Tears afraid to shower down on her cheeks, making it's journey down to her lips and resting at the bottom of her chin. Then falling into the soil hence her looking down all the time. Afraid to show her feelings to the world. Inside...there's death. One word so quick and easy. The one word on her mind at all hours of the day. It overtakes her life leaving her sad and lonely. All she wants is a friend; one whom she can trust and tell anything to. Inside...there's a future. She sees it bright, successful and far away. She wants to be somebody. Independent, purposeful and godly. Inside...there's the real me. The one who sees what no one else can see, feels what no one else can feel. The one who hears herself crying out to be heard, the one who taste the bitterness of the reality of life each and every day...the one who smells her destiny, her pride and hope every day. She strides to stay on the right path and not let barriers get in her way. Inside...