The Girl | Teen Ink

The Girl

March 8, 2010
By Raise_Up PLATINUM, Tomball, Texas
Raise_Up PLATINUM, Tomball, Texas
21 articles 0 photos 103 comments

Favorite Quote:
When i think of you, i end up falling alseep and i dream of you.<-- i wrote that quote
There isnt like looking into your eyes and knowing you will always be there to protect me <3 MADE BY ME ^^i wrote these quotes


A girl about 14 was walking through the forest and she heard a sharp sound coming from the bushes, she didn’t know what it was so she goes to find out. Then when she gets close enough some guys grabs her and takes her away. He puts his hands on her mouth so that no one can hear her scream. The guy takes her into his van and drives off. When she looks up she see’s three guys. She can’t see them because she is still dizzy. She doesn’t no where she is. All she can hear is the two guys talking; she can’t under stand them because they are speaking another language that she doesn’t know.

All of a sudden the van stops and she hears the van doors open and she dashes for the streets. She ran far and hard as she can. When she gets to a stop she takes out her phone and calls 911 and reports where she is at and what happened. They track down the phone but they can only catch one guy.

Her mom comes speeding down the busy high way and finds her with a cop. The mother stops fast and turns around and stops next to the police car. The mother walks out crying. She starts to yell at the police man. She grabs the daughter and tells her to get into the car and buckle up. So the girl did what she was told. The mother slams the door shut and starts the engine. The engine comes to life and the mother speeds down the street not caring if she gets pulled over.

When they get to the house, the girl stomps up stairs and slams her door and locks it. She turns up her music and starts to write her thoughts.

When her dad gets home, she runs down stairs, gives her dad a hug and says I am glad to see your home. The dad looks very confused but still hugs his daughter. The dad looks into the daughters eyes, he felt what she felt.

At dinner the daughter started to talk about her day and she told him about the three guys that kidnapped her and that she ran away. The dad gave her a blank look. He looked very confused. He finally started to talk and that he should have left and that it was his fault that she got kidnapped and that he won’t leave her again.

So the next day came and the little girl saw the same van that kidnapped her and she just looked at it. The guy looked at her and told her to come, but she was smart and stayed, then the guy started to walk out of the van and walked over to her. He gave her candy and her stupid self took it.


The author's comments:
I wrote this when i was bored.

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This article has 30 comments.


on Apr. 19 2010 at 10:23 am
Raise_Up PLATINUM, Tomball, Texas
21 articles 0 photos 103 comments

Favorite Quote:
When i think of you, i end up falling alseep and i dream of you.<-- i wrote that quote
There isnt like looking into your eyes and knowing you will always be there to protect me <3 MADE BY ME ^^i wrote these quotes

i have been adding detail, but i havnt posted the new thing... thanks tho(:

AndrewC BRONZE said...
on Apr. 16 2010 at 7:42 pm
AndrewC BRONZE, Madison, Mississippi
1 article 0 photos 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I like people who shake other people up and make them feel uncomfortable."
-Jim Morrison

Its really good. Like what others have said though: I think a little more discription of thoughts and stuff... but really good job. Keep it up

on Apr. 15 2010 at 8:12 am
Raise_Up PLATINUM, Tomball, Texas
21 articles 0 photos 103 comments

Favorite Quote:
When i think of you, i end up falling alseep and i dream of you.<-- i wrote that quote
There isnt like looking into your eyes and knowing you will always be there to protect me <3 MADE BY ME ^^i wrote these quotes

I have... i have to reupload the finished story...

 


on Apr. 14 2010 at 7:46 pm
KiraKira PLATINUM, Cardiff By The Sea, California
35 articles 0 photos 217 comments

Favorite Quote:
Do not pity the dead, Harry. Pity the living, and above all, pity those who live without love -Albus Dumbledore

again I think you need a bit more sensory detail. Really get into the character, and its more than just putting down words. You need to create a person not just a name and not just an object. Give her feeling, life, ideas.... Give her a world

J. Rae said...
on Apr. 7 2010 at 4:33 pm
Your welcome, and I really do like the story. Remeber the details. Good job!

on Apr. 7 2010 at 8:08 am
Raise_Up PLATINUM, Tomball, Texas
21 articles 0 photos 103 comments

Favorite Quote:
When i think of you, i end up falling alseep and i dream of you.<-- i wrote that quote
There isnt like looking into your eyes and knowing you will always be there to protect me <3 MADE BY ME ^^i wrote these quotes

this was my first story and i have been trying. the next story that i am waiting for aproval is called Second Chances and its longer and has wayy more details... but i will keep in mind that i do need to add details to this story and i have been, and when i finish the details i will post another story the same story but with better longer dramatic details<3 thanks again...

on Apr. 1 2010 at 10:34 am
TiffyLynn SILVER, Spring, Texas
6 articles 0 photos 55 comments

Favorite Quote:
When life gives you skittles...throw them at its eyes and yell "TASTE THE RAINBOW!"

Lol xD yeaaa. I know. :P anyway. im scared to walk in the office!! D: there are a ton of cops around the front office with thier hands on thier guns. x]

on Mar. 30 2010 at 10:42 am
Raise_Up PLATINUM, Tomball, Texas
21 articles 0 photos 103 comments

Favorite Quote:
When i think of you, i end up falling alseep and i dream of you.<-- i wrote that quote
There isnt like looking into your eyes and knowing you will always be there to protect me <3 MADE BY ME ^^i wrote these quotes

yay!!!!1 and if he hurts you.. you know where i is everday!!! love you baby gurl

on Mar. 30 2010 at 10:41 am
Raise_Up PLATINUM, Tomball, Texas
21 articles 0 photos 103 comments

Favorite Quote:
When i think of you, i end up falling alseep and i dream of you.<-- i wrote that quote
There isnt like looking into your eyes and knowing you will always be there to protect me <3 MADE BY ME ^^i wrote these quotes

Omg!!!! i wrote a letter to Caleb!!! and its talking about something serise!! i will tell you 5th periodxD

on Mar. 30 2010 at 7:55 am
TiffyLynn SILVER, Spring, Texas
6 articles 0 photos 55 comments

Favorite Quote:
When life gives you skittles...throw them at its eyes and yell "TASTE THE RAINBOW!"

Alli!! :D whats up?

on Mar. 30 2010 at 7:55 am
TiffyLynn SILVER, Spring, Texas
6 articles 0 photos 55 comments

Favorite Quote:
When life gives you skittles...throw them at its eyes and yell "TASTE THE RAINBOW!"

I was because he was makin me mad. But everything is fine now. he said he'd lighten up.

on Mar. 29 2010 at 1:26 pm
Raise_Up PLATINUM, Tomball, Texas
21 articles 0 photos 103 comments

Favorite Quote:
When i think of you, i end up falling alseep and i dream of you.<-- i wrote that quote
There isnt like looking into your eyes and knowing you will always be there to protect me <3 MADE BY ME ^^i wrote these quotes

YAY!!!!! lol hope everythings work with your bf... i had to give you a hug when i saw you, you looked sad when i walked by you with my bf

on Mar. 29 2010 at 1:25 pm
Raise_Up PLATINUM, Tomball, Texas
21 articles 0 photos 103 comments

Favorite Quote:
When i think of you, i end up falling alseep and i dream of you.<-- i wrote that quote
There isnt like looking into your eyes and knowing you will always be there to protect me <3 MADE BY ME ^^i wrote these quotes

Hey alli:P

on Mar. 26 2010 at 11:28 am
VampChick49 BRONZE, Tomball, Texas
1 article 0 photos 34 comments

Favorite Quote:
A day without laughter iz a day wasted!!!!

taylor this is your bff

on Mar. 22 2010 at 8:29 pm
TiffyLynn SILVER, Spring, Texas
6 articles 0 photos 55 comments

Favorite Quote:
When life gives you skittles...throw them at its eyes and yell "TASTE THE RAINBOW!"

Love you too!:D

on Mar. 22 2010 at 10:54 am
Raise_Up PLATINUM, Tomball, Texas
21 articles 0 photos 103 comments

Favorite Quote:
When i think of you, i end up falling alseep and i dream of you.<-- i wrote that quote
There isnt like looking into your eyes and knowing you will always be there to protect me <3 MADE BY ME ^^i wrote these quotes

i love you gurl:) thanks... i am writing another story..l and when i am done ill let you read and tell me what you think... :) love you tiff..

on Mar. 22 2010 at 10:52 am
TiffyLynn SILVER, Spring, Texas
6 articles 0 photos 55 comments

Favorite Quote:
When life gives you skittles...throw them at its eyes and yell "TASTE THE RAINBOW!"

Taylor you have great style and you are a great writer. Keep it up!

on Mar. 22 2010 at 10:52 am
Raise_Up PLATINUM, Tomball, Texas
21 articles 0 photos 103 comments

Favorite Quote:
When i think of you, i end up falling alseep and i dream of you.<-- i wrote that quote
There isnt like looking into your eyes and knowing you will always be there to protect me <3 MADE BY ME ^^i wrote these quotes

okayy

read more of my storys i think i have 6 out there

on Mar. 22 2010 at 9:35 am
Raise_Up PLATINUM, Tomball, Texas
21 articles 0 photos 103 comments

Favorite Quote:
When i think of you, i end up falling alseep and i dream of you.<-- i wrote that quote
There isnt like looking into your eyes and knowing you will always be there to protect me <3 MADE BY ME ^^i wrote these quotes

i have more stories, and i also write poetry, i have one called I WISH... read that one and tell me what you think... and dont talk bad about this story, its my 1st story i wrote and i will make it better, just give me some ttime and i wil post the same story but better(:

on Mar. 22 2010 at 9:12 am
Raise_Up PLATINUM, Tomball, Texas
21 articles 0 photos 103 comments

Favorite Quote:
When i think of you, i end up falling alseep and i dream of you.<-- i wrote that quote
There isnt like looking into your eyes and knowing you will always be there to protect me <3 MADE BY ME ^^i wrote these quotes

i should.. thanks