The Girl | Teen Ink

The Girl

March 8, 2010
By Raise_Up PLATINUM, Tomball, Texas
Raise_Up PLATINUM, Tomball, Texas
21 articles 0 photos 103 comments

Favorite Quote:
When i think of you, i end up falling alseep and i dream of you.<-- i wrote that quote
There isnt like looking into your eyes and knowing you will always be there to protect me <3 MADE BY ME ^^i wrote these quotes


A girl about 14 was walking through the forest and she heard a sharp sound coming from the bushes, she didn’t know what it was so she goes to find out. Then when she gets close enough some guys grabs her and takes her away. He puts his hands on her mouth so that no one can hear her scream. The guy takes her into his van and drives off. When she looks up she see’s three guys. She can’t see them because she is still dizzy. She doesn’t no where she is. All she can hear is the two guys talking; she can’t under stand them because they are speaking another language that she doesn’t know.

All of a sudden the van stops and she hears the van doors open and she dashes for the streets. She ran far and hard as she can. When she gets to a stop she takes out her phone and calls 911 and reports where she is at and what happened. They track down the phone but they can only catch one guy.

Her mom comes speeding down the busy high way and finds her with a cop. The mother stops fast and turns around and stops next to the police car. The mother walks out crying. She starts to yell at the police man. She grabs the daughter and tells her to get into the car and buckle up. So the girl did what she was told. The mother slams the door shut and starts the engine. The engine comes to life and the mother speeds down the street not caring if she gets pulled over.

When they get to the house, the girl stomps up stairs and slams her door and locks it. She turns up her music and starts to write her thoughts.

When her dad gets home, she runs down stairs, gives her dad a hug and says I am glad to see your home. The dad looks very confused but still hugs his daughter. The dad looks into the daughters eyes, he felt what she felt.

At dinner the daughter started to talk about her day and she told him about the three guys that kidnapped her and that she ran away. The dad gave her a blank look. He looked very confused. He finally started to talk and that he should have left and that it was his fault that she got kidnapped and that he won’t leave her again.

So the next day came and the little girl saw the same van that kidnapped her and she just looked at it. The guy looked at her and told her to come, but she was smart and stayed, then the guy started to walk out of the van and walked over to her. He gave her candy and her stupid self took it.


The author's comments:
I wrote this when i was bored.

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This article has 30 comments.


TEETEE said...
on Mar. 19 2010 at 9:22 pm
YOU SHOULD HAVE GAVE MORE DETAIL IN THE STORY

Kay4theRoses said...
on Mar. 17 2010 at 10:35 am
Kay4theRoses, O&#39brien, Florida
0 articles 0 photos 75 comments

Favorite Quote:
"all's fair in love and war." And "Beware of a fat man whose belly doesn't jiggle when he laughs."-A Chinese philosopher. =)

You deffintely have your own style.

check out my latest stuff.

comment and rate- i'll return the favor

=)

J. Rae said...
on Mar. 14 2010 at 9:02 pm
This was really good but you rushed through everything. You should drag out the suspense more, add more detail. In the first two paragraphs a girl was kidnapped, she escapes and calls the police, then one of the bad guys get caught! With a story like this you could spend four paragraphs describing the abduction.

on Mar. 11 2010 at 1:23 pm
Raise_Up PLATINUM, Tomball, Texas
21 articles 0 photos 103 comments

Favorite Quote:
When i think of you, i end up falling alseep and i dream of you.<-- i wrote that quote
There isnt like looking into your eyes and knowing you will always be there to protect me <3 MADE BY ME ^^i wrote these quotes

haha(: thanks.. she is 14 about to be 15. her father was walking the dogs and she got distracted and walked off, and thats when she got kiddnapped(: lol i am still writing

paperflowers said...
on Mar. 11 2010 at 12:00 pm
paperflowers, Imaginary, Indiana
0 articles 0 photos 176 comments
Just so you know, you're mostly writing in present tense and a few sentences are past tense, but other than that it has an interesting plot :) maybe some more details. also the girl seems to be a bit younger than 14..

on Mar. 10 2010 at 2:44 pm
sidneynicole BRONZE, McKinney, Texas
4 articles 0 photos 48 comments

Favorite Quote:
"When life knock you down to your knees, just know you are in a perfect postition to pray."

http ://www.teenink .com /fiction/realistic_fiction/article/184903/Remembering-Sanaya-Walker/
i really liked it i wanna read more and can you chack out some if my work too!

on Mar. 10 2010 at 2:43 pm
sidneynicole BRONZE, McKinney, Texas
4 articles 0 photos 48 comments

Favorite Quote:
"When life knock you down to your knees, just know you are in a perfect postition to pray."

this was pretty good i wanna read moree and would check out some of my stuff too http ://www.teenink .com /fiction/realistic_fiction/article/184903/Remembering-Sanaya-Walker/

on Mar. 10 2010 at 9:39 am
Raise_Up PLATINUM, Tomball, Texas
21 articles 0 photos 103 comments

Favorite Quote:
When i think of you, i end up falling alseep and i dream of you.<-- i wrote that quote
There isnt like looking into your eyes and knowing you will always be there to protect me <3 MADE BY ME ^^i wrote these quotes

Please tell me what you think of my story(: i wrote this when i was in theatre. I have more comeing.

on Mar. 10 2010 at 9:33 am
Raise_Up PLATINUM, Tomball, Texas
21 articles 0 photos 103 comments

Favorite Quote:
When i think of you, i end up falling alseep and i dream of you.<-- i wrote that quote
There isnt like looking into your eyes and knowing you will always be there to protect me <3 MADE BY ME ^^i wrote these quotes

thanks(: im still writing, adding on to it.

on Mar. 9 2010 at 8:11 pm
Sweatheart SILVER, BPT, Connecticut
5 articles 0 photos 76 comments

Favorite Quote:
I can do anything

very good story really liked it keep on writing