White Fish | Teen Ink

White Fish

November 10, 2022
By Anonymous

“Please Mom!” I begged. “I promise I will be responsible. And I won’t get upset if anything goes wrong. Which it won’t!” I added hastily as my mother raised an eyebrow.

My mom was cooking some dinner, and stirring the pot of soup with her big wooden spoon, her black hair tied into a ponytail. Why were we arguing? Well it’s because I wanted a pet. My mom isn’t exactly huge on animals. Dogs, hamsters, bunnies and cats are too high maintenance, and my mom would probably move out if we ever adopted a rat or any type of reptile. But, there was a creature we could both agree on. If I managed to get her on board with this, I could totally convince her to get me another pet. Maybe even a puppy!

“I don’t know,” My mom sighed exasperatedly, turning the stove on with her huge mitts, “Remember the last time we had fish?”

I want a pet fish. I really didn’t care for fish that much, but if I proved to my mom I could do this, she would definitely believe in me. I had to show my mom I could handle having a living thing in the house.. Maybe she would even get me a puppy! I had to start small, I’d been researching for weeks, and I finally decided to tell my mom that I wanted a fish. Everything had to go perfectly. Unfortunately, we’ve gotten fish before, and it wasn’t exactly a great experience.

“No, Mom, this is different. We aren’t going on vacation this time.”

I still remember the horrible stench of dead guppies when I stepped foot in our apartment. I threw down my luggage, filled with memorabilia from an amazing trip to New York, and dashed into the living room. There I saw our fish tank, sitting right in the middle of the living room. As I walked towards the mini aquarium, I saw two fish laying bellies-up, floating at the top of the tank, eyes clear and glassy. I was struck. How could this have happened? Did they eat too much food? Did they catch a disease and drop dead? What happened to the third fish? My parents rushed into the room, and as we lifted up the tank, I saw one small guppy, dead in the water filter.

“Mom, I told you this,” I kept pushing, trying to ignore the memories of what happened last time. It wouldn’t happen this time, I wouldn’t let it. “I’ll get a guard for the water filter. We can get an automatic feeder if we go on vacation. I’ve thought about everything. Please Mom, can I get the fish?”

My mom turned away from me and placed her dish on our granite tabletop. I watched her intently as she moved the soup into a glass bowl. She sprinkled some salt on top and finally made eye contact with me.

“Okay. But only because you’re very serious about this. You better not lose interest.”


One week later, my mom and I were parked in front of our local PetSmart. I leaped out of the car and crossed the street, feeling like I was going to explode. The dim red and blue logo shone down on me as the automatic doors creaked open. The store smelt like wet dog food. I felt my feet on the damp concrete floor. Everything around me was tinted slightly yellow. My mom caught up with me, and led me to the fish section.

There were so many varieties of fish. I stared at a tank full of fish that shone unnaturally saturated hues of pink, yellow and orange. The tag read “Glo-fish.” I saw a red beta fish with wispy limbs. I saw a big group of clownfish, a blur of orange, white and black. But none of them compared to what I saw next.

“A Yellow Cap Imperial Guppy,” I read out loud.

The fish were beautiful, yellow head, white underbelly, red fins and tail with huge white eyes. They were tiny, probably smaller than my thumb. I could probably squish one between my fingers with minimal effort. This wasn't a very pleasant thought, so I redirected by energy to trying to relocate my mother. Finally, I saw my mom walk over to me.

“Have you chosen your fish yet?” I nodded in response, pointed to the fish and we headed over to the checkout lane. 

After my mom told the blonde teenager behind the checkout desk about my guppies, she headed to the tank. She returned and handed us the fish in a plastic bag full of water. She also rung us up a huge fish tank, decorations, sand and a filter guard. This was going to be completely different from last time. My arms full of supplies, I trudged to the car, my mom right behind me. I eyed the puppies in the aisle next to the fish. They were sitting in their crates, curled up in little balls of fur. I wondered how well they were being treated at the store. If everything went according to my plan, I would be coming back for them soon enough.

In the car, I placed the fish in my lap, watching the way they dart around the small bag. I never noticed how one of the fish had faded to a sickly pasty white color. 


When I got home, I immediately set up the tank in the far corner of the room, on an empty brown dresser. First I washed and scrubbed the tank clean. I punched a hole in the bag full of sand, and I poured it into the tank. I took out the decorations, a gray tower, a shark figurine, and a unicorn statue. I dug them into the sand firmly. I took a deep breath, and looked at my poor fish, still stuck in their plastic bag. I dashed into the hall and slid right into the bathroom. I searched the bathroom for a bucket to carry water for the tank. I spotted an enormous red bucket in the cabinet. I picked it up and ran it under the sink for a few minutes, making sure the bucket was almost completely full. I was serious about this. If I messed this up, my mom would never let me have a pet. I attempted to lift the bucket off the sink, but my arms gave out. It was way too heavy. I sighed and emptied out a little bit of water. This fish stuff was hard work!

I attached the guard to the filter, and took one last glance at the waterless tank. Finally, I let the red bucket release its contents into the tank, the liquid rushing and splashing out. I only let it fill to around an inch from the top of the tank. Some of it splashed right out of the tank, and pooled on the floor. I ignored it. I could always clean it up later. I stepped back and looked at my hard work. Well, that’s that! As I began to stand up, I realized with a start that I had forgotten to put the guppies in the tank. I laughed and lifted the bag of guppies over the tank, unclasped the top of the fish bag, and let them fall into their new home. I dusted myself off, took a few steps back, and admired my handiwork. Then I noticed something unsettling. 

I took a closer look at one of the fish. Were my eyes playing tricks on me, or was one of the fish see-through? Sure enough, one of the fish was a completely different color, and he was sitting at the bottom of the tank, his clear scales holding no color and no shine, just a dull gray. Oh no. I panicked. If my mom found out that my fish were sick already, she’d probably take them away! I would never get that puppy! I swiftly sprinted to the kitchen, and I found an empty yogurt cup. It was completely clean, no yogurt residue anywhere. I snuck back in my room. I scooped the probably diseased fish out of the tank, which was really easy because he wasn’t moving much, and put him in the spacious container. I sighed. Crisis averted. As long as my mom never noticed that one of my fish was in quarantine, I was safe. 

Thinking that I had dodged a bullet, I turned and walked away from my room, and I never realized that another fish was sick too. A second fish was slowly turning white as well.

It took me until Saturday at noon to realize what had happened. As soon as I saw, I took out the last fish and placed him in the yogurt cup with the sickly fish. I let out a deep breath. I was going to be in so much trouble. My mom would definitely notice not one, but two missing fish. I looked back at the tank, the one lonely guppy swimming around its beautiful habitat, all by itself. I wondered if it realized it would probably be dead by tomorrow. I would have to tell my mom, and risk the chance of ever getting a pet again. I tried to bring it up at lunch, but I just ended up lying to her face.

“You’re doing really well with that fish, hm?” My mom took a bite of pasta.

“Yeah.” I nodded. I tried to ignore the guilt in my stomach. I couldn't even try the alfredo, even though it was usually my favorite. I had a sinking suspicion that my mom had cooked it up to celebrate my new pets, which made me feel like a terrible, terrible child.

She smiled. “If you keep this up, maybe we could consider getting a bigger pet. My coworker’s dog had a litter of puppies. Maybe we could get a dog to go along with our fish?”

I was shocked. I couldn’t believe my mom had said that. I had always assumed she hated dogs. My mind was spinning with excitement and fear, and a little guilt. I decided I couldn’t back out now. I just had to let her believe the fish were still alive until I could get the dog, and make up a story. I couldn’t help feeling extremely terrible, but it would be worth it. Deciding on this plan, I took a big bite of my pasta.

"Sounds great Mom!"

This went on for a week, until my mom decided to clean my room. I was at school, and I came home to my mom in the living room, livid. She was sitting on the leather couch with her head in her hands. Uh oh.

“Care to explain why I found a dead fish in your tank?” My mom gritted angrily. “I thought you said they were all alive. I promised you a dog!”

My legs shook. My heart raced. I stood there, feeling my mom’s angry, hurt, ashamed expression burning into my face. 

“How did you manage to kill them all so quickly?” She frowned. “You should have asked me on .”

“They were like that when they arrived,” I blurted. “I tried the best I could.”

”Why didn’t you tell me?” My mom stood up and looked me in the eyes. She sounded hurt. “I could’ve helped you.”

I grimaced. My mom was probably going to say that I could never have a pet again.

“You still lied to me, and didn’t tell me about the wellbeing of your pet. If we’re going to get the puppy, I need to know that you will tell me everything.”

"It was my fault. I didn't want you to be upset with me. I wanted to show you I could be independent," I stuttered. "And... I didn't want to show you that I had failed."

My mom gazed at me with pity in her eyes. She opened her arms, signaling that I should give her a hug. I threw myself into her lap and let her pat my head. I scooted around until I was next to her on the couch, looking her in the eye.

“Well, I'm sorry you felt like that." My mom turned and squeezed my shoulders. "But... Since your fish only died because of a disease you couldn’t control, I’m giving you a second chance.” 

What??? My head turned upwards to meet hers, and I saw she was smiling. I felt my face erupt into a gigantic grin, not unlike hers. I guess my plan technically worked! I would never ever lie to my mom again! So she thought I could have a dog all along! I gave her a huge hug and I felt like I was going to burst. I was going to take such good care of my new puppy!



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