Pursuit of Passion | Teen Ink

Pursuit of Passion

August 7, 2022
By mskim25 BRONZE, Seoul, Other
mskim25 BRONZE, Seoul, Other
3 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Thoughts of a new storyline slipped through Jiyeon’s mind as she strolled down the buzzing streets of Gangnam on a Monday morning.

‘Should Dylan be shocked when his friend reveals his true identity? Or should he have already known it…?’

She wrote short stories as a part-time writer. She smiled as she contemplated which plot to choose that evening with her little lamp on the kitchen table. 


At one hand, Jiyeon also thought of her mother-in-law who always knit picked on how to cook food for Jiyeon’s husband. Ever since her father-in-law suddenly passed away a few years before, she has become even more picky on her taste. Her call has been increasingly frequent, from once a week to twice, even thrice everyday.


Jiyeon brushed off disturbing thoughts as she arrived at the brunch cafe, where she had arranged a meeting with her two old friends, Yeonju and Sumin. As she entered the cafe, the friends greeted her with warm hugs and the three of them dived into a conversation about their long-past high school years, when they had nothing to worry about but to study and get home at time for dinner. It was always pleasant for Jiyeon, these gatherings - they offered a short but precious break from her onerous life, waking up early to pack lunch boxes and fretting over her daughter’s education.


About an hour into the conversation, Jiyeon’s phone began to ring inside her handbag. She was hesitant to pick up at first, not wanting to be reminded of her life outside of the cafe. All she wanted was to stay in the oasis with her friends and her memories. Yet in the end, she grabbed the phone and excused herself, since she wanted to avoid any unnecessary consequences in case it was anybody she should absolutely heed, especially her mother-in-law. 


“Hello?”

“Jiyeon, I didn’t expect this from you… How dare you treat my dear Jihun and Yeji like this?”


A calm and angry voice from her mother in law was flowing through her ear.


Worried and confused - as she has never mistreated neither her husband nor her lovely daughter - Jiyeon carefully asked her what the issue was.


“I noticed that a person named ‘Kim Jiyeon’ has been continuously writing for the Seoul Daily. I was at first confused, and thought that it should have been another person with the same pen name as you. Yet, as that pesky name kept appearing in the magazine, I decided to probe you, just in case. After two months of spying every time I visited your apartment to bring you my Nabak Kimchi, I happened to look through your pink writing notebook on the kitchen table, next to a small lamp, with a writing exactly the same as the story in the magazine that I had read just two days ago… It was then that I confirmed your unacceptable behavior.”


Cold sweat trickled down Jiyeon’s back as she tightly grabbed her fists. Like in the case of many of her married female friends, the presence of a mother-in-law was a formidable one, still in the modern-day Korea. 


‘Will I be able to continue to write stories every evening? What will happen to my marriage life from now on?’


Her mind went blank out of fear of the potential consequences. 


“Now that I know that you write useless stories every evening, and therefore could not focus on caring for my son and granddaughter, you will have to be done with it. If you get caught one more time, I will not take this issue easy on you like today.”


Jiyeon lost her words for a moment. Her lips trembled in anger and her eyes lost focus. She sloppily answered “Yes” to her mother-in-law’s demand, but her mind was full of anxiety, lost of what to do next. 


So much has changed just after a phone call with her mother in law. That day, Jiyeon could not delve into memories of her teenage life with her friends anymore, as if the water from the oasis had all been evaporated. Even when she was walking down the streets back home, or cooking dinner for her family later on, she could not erase the constant reminder that she could no longer work on her writings. She felt lost the most that very evening, when she realized that her writing session on the kitchen table was now a thing of the past. She felt hollow, as her notebook on the kitchen table just in an arm’s reach seemed like a mile away from her.


Just like that, a year has passed since Jiyeon stopped writing short stories every night. Though nothing has changed in her life, from preparing lunch boxes for Jihun and Yeji to the annoying phone calls from her mother-in-law for mundane tasks, everything was now different. Jiyeon no longer talked about her joyful memories from the past, nor was she happy in any sense. Her life was now meaningless, with nothing left for her passion.


One day, Jiyeon cleaned her apartment as usual before Yeji arrived from school. Unlike any other day, however, she decided to clean a large cabinet that stood untouched. When she opened it, she found a great number of papers that were turning brown and covered in dust. Not being able to remember what the papers were for, Jiyeon pulled them out and began to read through them one by one. Surprisingly, they were a series of her previous writings, the ones she wrote and had serialized in the Seoul daily magazines. Beneath the papers was the pink notebook that she had brainstormed and wrote her first drafts of her writings on, the thing that she used to adore.


At a first glance of the dusty papers and the pink notebook, Jiyeon immediately recalled the memories of writing short stories every evening, next to her tiny lamp that now stood alone on the dining table, of Dylan and Annie and so many other characters whom she cherished. She again felt the empowerment of creating a whole new world, shaping the destiny of her characters. She was able to remember the liberating moments when she was detached from her onerous life, and to dwell in her own reality made up purely of her imaginations.

Shortly after, Jiyeon was quick to realize how meaningless her life had been after she quit writing. Though she was safe from her mother-in-law’s threats of abandoning her at the moment, or having her marriage life under threat, she gave up her passion and love for writing. And for the first time in a year, she began contemplating if her decision to simply conform to her mother in law truly suited her. 


After a few days, shortly after Yeji left for kindergarten, Jiyeon untangled her apron and carefully walked towards the kitchen table. She slowly pulled out the chair and reached for the pen. She paused for a second before she grabbed it, in anxiety of whether she really had the courage to start writing again. However, as soon as she picked up her pen, Jiyeon was full of enthusiasm, and the pen strided down the pink notebook as she once again unveiled her world of imagination. 


A few hours later, she decided to contact her old friend working as an editor in Seoul Daily as well, to publish her stories in the magazine. Jiyeon brushed off her lingering concerns, and was now determined to continue writing and pursuing her passion. She could not return to the dark days when she felt nothing but hollowness within her. She could not let her life be so devoid of meaning once again.


As expected, Jiyeon’s mother in law called her in a few days. As the phone rang in her purse, she breathed a deep breath and answered the call in defiance.


Shoutings and even swearings harshly pierced Jiyeon’s ear through her phone as soon as she picked up the call. 


“How dare you!!! I have already warned that you will not have a second chance and you have simply ignored my demands as your mother in law!! You shall meet dire consequences so be prepared you idio–”


“Mrs. Lee!”


Jiyeon abruptly interrupted her mother in law’s callous shoutings. No longer did she feel intimidated by her mother in law’s warnings or swearings. She confronted her outrage against her and refused to yield in any terms. 


“I know that you have figured out that I began to write short stories again, as you have already read in the Seoul Daily magazines. I just want to inform you that I have a true passion for writing stories, and nothing can stop me from doing it anymore, not even you. I am still capable of caring for my family, even when I am writing my short stories - it only takes a short amount of time in the evening anyways.” Jiyeon heard her voice quivering and beginning to take a pleading tone. “So please, take some pity on your daughter in law, and leave me alone. Even if you don’t, you can no longer convince me to quit writing just to ‘care better for my husband and my kid’.”


There was nothing but silence on the other side, as if she was stunned. The silence broke only after a few moments, as Jiyeon began to speak again in a calmer tone.


“Mrs. Lee, I know that you can also relate to my problems… I know that you, just like me, had to give up your passion on drawing as soon as you married my father-in-law so that you could fully devote yourself towards caring for your husband and your kids. You know best how painful it is to simply give up your life-long passion like that. You know how it was to live without what meant so much to you … 

So please, Mrs. Lee, I plead with you to let me write what I want to. Free me from the shackles you were chained to throughout your entire life.”


As soon as her daughter in law discussed her own life after marriage, Jiyeon’s mother in law was reminded of the empty, hollow feeling she felt ever since she gave up drawing. After a few moments of silence, this time, it was Jiyeon’s mother in law who finally spoke.


“Fine, Jiyeon. You were fairly persuasive this time. I give in. 


But, remember that you should always maintain good care of your family even when you are writing your short stories every evening. Or else, then I will really have to prepare some consequences for you.”


Jiyeon, delighted, answered with joy: “I will take note of that, Mrs. Lee! Thank you for your understanding!”


From that day on, Jiyeon returned to her regular but precious task of writing on her pink notebook every evening next to her little lamp, and serialized her short stories again without any concerns regarding her mother in law. The once dried up oasis was now lively and full of water. 


In the mean time, Her mother in law also took this opportunity to reflect upon her own life. Just like Jiyeon did a few days ago, she contemplated if it was right for her to give up drawing after all, and pondered if it was truly incompatible with caring for her family members. A few days later, to everyone’s surprise, her mother in law started to draw the bountiful flowers on the beautiful hills of her hometown, with such good drawing skills that even Jiyeon got to admire. The once hot-headed temper of her mother in law also cooled down, and she became much more amiable, loving character by others now.


Both of the women, from then on, continued to live their passions.


The author's comments:

This tells the story of a woman in Korea whose pursuit of passion gets impeded by a family member. 


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