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Calm Before the Storm
The rain is my constant companion. In the morning mixing sugar and cream into my coffee. I watched it dissolve as I stirred my spoon around the perimeter of my mug. Watching the whirl pool of brown bitter liquid. I saw a storm brewing in my tea cup. I did not take it as a warning.
I gaze out the window watching the tiny droplets plunge onto the pavement. It fall onto my tattered roof; making its way through my ceiling into a metal pot with a crash. Creating a puddle of murky brown water. Cars speed down the street crashing into puddles to form a tsunami. Drowning everything on the side walk. It gets weaker as the day come to an end. And at night it is thing that lulls me to sleep. Rain drops pitter patter against the window. Thunder rumble through the night. Lightning flashes in the night sky as the clock strikes twelve.
The battle cry of the sky wakes me up. I peer out the window and see a war raging on. Lightning crashing into buildings. Thunder rumbling awaking every living soul in town. Rain pounding into everything abandoned outside. The sun is nowhere to be seen. Shaking I stared down the eye of the hurricane.
In my youth after a storm comes the calm. The sky opened up letting the sun illuminate the sky spreading beautiful fragments of lights across it. And the scent of rain used to fill me with hope. Hope that after something bad there is always good. That your life was worth fighting for. You can’t have peace without pain. You can’t have a rainbow without rain.
Dancing and playing in the dewy air I was carefree. “It’s just rain, you’re not made of sugar, you won’t melt”, my dad used to say. And I believed him.
There is a fleeing feeling of peace once the rain stops. But I know that it will not stay this way very long. It’s a never ending cycle. It stalking me in the dead of night and never lets me rest. Nothing I do can prevent it from following me. It’s like a stray that you feed because you felt bad for it. Now it’s at my door barking and begging. It’s not hungry it just want to feed from me. Wanting food that I honestly can’t afford. Eyes that stare at your soul making you feel guilty for not giving into its commands.
There is a cyclone raging in my mind. Twisting and whirling all of my thoughts into one huge chaotic mess. My words are jumbled spilling out of my mouth into nonsensical fragments. Dirty rain clouds are floating above my head. I try shaking them away, but they just pour down on me. I am cold. I am soaked.
I would be lying if I said that I wouldn’t miss its company. It is the only thing that has stuck around all of these year. It is constant in my life.
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