Mr. Frank Smithens is seventy years old. He was born in 1935, in Canada. He is thin and ragged, of medium height, wears glasses, has thick blonde hair and light brown eyes. He is missing one finger. His squeaky voice has a Norwegian accent. He has a talent for making things and is creative. Stealing porcelain figurines is one of his weaknesses, and he is partially mentally unstable.


He was formerly his family’s breadwinner; until a fire killed his whole family of six; his wife, three daughters and two sons perished. He went insane two years later. His only friend is a former asylum bunkmate named Steven Balance, with whom he has not been in touch with for years.


In his free time he likes to construct models of plans to destroy Canada. This is his passion, though his plan is never carried out. He was born in Canada and he wishes he was never born. He has a ten year old niece named Shania who is obsessed with stuffed animals.