Once Upon a time-ish beginning, there was a little ogre named Little Shrek Riding Hood. In Little Shrek's cottage, his mother was making some goodies and putting them in a basket.

“Little Shrek, when you go over to Grandma’s house, take this basket of food with you,” his mother said excitedly, happy to show her mom her baking skills. 

“Yes, Mother Sherk,” Little Shrek said, putting on his red cloak.

Little Shrek finished getting ready. He put on his boots that laced up to his green knees and threw the hood over his head to keep his Gollums warm. Then he grabbed the basket and walked out the door.

“Oh, by the way, Superannoyingdonkey, my boyfriend, will be accompanying you,” his mother grinned

“What? Why?” Little Shrek was not happy. He loathed his mother’s boyfriend. 

“Oh, wait. That’s right! He said he would meet you there and then walk you back.”

In his opinion, this was even worse, but at least he would have some peace and quiet on the way there. He gave a slight nod to his mother and then walked out the door.

The fresh air filled him with a sense of peace. As he walked further into the woods, he became surrounded by trees which he enjoyed. There was no one to bother him. The leaves rustled as the wind loudly howled. The ground was muddy. A few deer were munching on some grass as he passed through. With each squish of the ground, he was glad that he wore his boots. 

As the woods cleared, a house came into view. It was a cottage house, in the window he saw his mother’s boyfriend making out with Grandma Shrek. He didn't have time to react to what he was seeing, as Superannoyingdonkey immediately stabbed his grandma in the eye. He watched as Grandma Shrek screamed and fell to the ground. Hearing the screams, Huntsman Shrek rushed over to see what the commotion was.

“What’s happening?” Huntsman Shrek asked when he saw Little Shrek.

Shaking from everything that’s happening, all Little Shrek could do was point at the blood-splattered window.

The huntsman looked over and saw Superannoyingdonkey looking at him and Little Shrek, “Sugar Honey Iced Tea, Little Shrek, Run, I'll try to hold him off-” Suddenly, the huntsman was interrupted by a blow to the head.

Little Shrek dropped the basket of food and took off running back into the woods. He ran through the trees and past all the deer. When he got halfway through the woods he saw his mother standing there, he rushed towards her, tears streaming down his face.

“What's the matter, darling?” his mom says pretending to comfort him. Shrek starts to explain what happened. Shrek realizes that his mom isn’t responding to him, and turns around to see what his mom is looking at and sees Superannoyingdonkey standing there. “Don't worry, it’ll be over soon,” Superannoyingdonkey and Mother Shrek say in unison. Superannoyingdonkey then walks towards Little Shrek and kills him. Shrek looks towards his mom for help, but she ignores him and watches as Little Shrek bleeds out.

After Little Shrek bled out, a Freakin-Flying-Squirrel flew on top of his corpse. The Freakin-Flying Squirrel had a piece of paper in its Squirrel-Paws. Mother Shrek took the paper and looked it over.

“It's a Marriage Certificate,” She hands the paper to her boyfriend, Superannoyingdonkey.

“I have a pen,” Superannoyingdonkey states.

“Shall we sign it?” She asks. hopefully.

“Why not? Then we will surely be partners in crime.,” 

They both sign the certificate and hand it back to the Freaking-Flying-Squirrel who has turned into a clergyman, with the deer signing as a witness, the marriage is complete. 

And they both live happily ever after.