Idiot (Play) | Teen Ink

Idiot (Play)

December 11, 2023
By LinkiMochi PLATINUM, Austin, Texas
LinkiMochi PLATINUM, Austin, Texas
20 articles 0 photos 0 comments

A: (curious) How did you do on the history test?

B: Oh my gosh it was so easy, I didn’t expect it would be this easy, I literally pulled an all nighter yesterday and I guess it was all wasted

A: Why did you even study the whole night?

B: (with a fast tone) I don’t even know ok, don’t ask me, I just didn’t start studying earlier

A: But it was so easy, you didn’t even need to study for it.

B: Yeah sure sure, genius girl

A: I’m pretty confident that I got everything right.

B: (impatient) Well I’m pretty sure I got everything wrong. I forgot number three.

A: No way, how can you get it wrong? It’s so easy.

B: (secretly rolling eyes) What did you choose then, huh?

A: I chose the correct answer, obviously.

B: So what is the correct answer?

A: It’s D, I can’t believe you forgot about this, we literally talked about it last class // this is ridiculous

B: Why do you sound like this, are you mocking me?

A: Are you being serious right now // Why would you think I’m mocking you

B: Yes I’m being so serious, it’s so obvious that you are mocking me

A: (Volume gradually grows) We are friends and stop interrupting me!

B: Do you hear yourself? // Friends don’t talk to each other like that.

A: Yes I’m not deaf Banana!

A: Also, I was not mocking you, I was just trying to say that—

B: (Snaps) I know what you mean Apple, you were just trying to say that I’m stupid and idiotic for getting the question wrong even though I spent the whole night studying, and you are the one that’s smart because you get everything right without even going through your notes!

A: Ok ok—

B: I totally understand what you mean: you are just trying to prove that you are better than me in every single way possible!

A: No I’m not like that, you are twisting things, this is offensive ok

B: You just make everything worse in my life

A: (Sighs) OK CALM DOWN

B: I can’t, you are always competing with me and you make yourself look better, I can’t handle this anymore, we are done.

A: Just shut up.

B: Huh, do you have anything else to say?

A: I know it’s all gonna be alright

B: You know it’s not gonna be fine, Apple, admit it.

A: (Angry) SHUT UP

B: What

A: I can help you and to make things clear, I was just joking, really. I won’t do it anymore if you don’t like it, you should’ve said this earlier if you don’t like me playing around with you. We’ve been friends for over six years now, and you never told me. I even thought you liked being called stupid by me, because you are just

B: Just what

A: Just an idiot

B: How

A: Because you never understood my feelings, idiot. (Walks away to offstage)

B: Ok stop calling me idiot, you idiot! Wait, what— (Chases Apple offstage)


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