On one misty Wednesday evening, not far outside the small town of Mary Jane, Colorado, lived Scooby Doobie Doo, who had just finished his tenth joint, a new record for him. But he didn’t want to stop there. He ran down the narrow hallway to his roommate's room to propose an exhilarating idea to him. 

“HASH!” Scooby yelled. 

“What?” Hash mumbled, still half asleep.

“I have this dope idea,” Scooby says with a wink. 

“Can’t you see I’m tryna’ catch sum z’s,” Hash says as he turns his back to Scooby. 

“You gonna wanna be up fo this one,” Scooby says. 

 “What is it this time?” Hash says with a stern voice.

“I have one last j for today, and I say we spark it up. Then, head to the forest nearby and see where it takes us. What you think?” Scooby proposed. 

“I can’t Scoob. I promised my mum I would quit that stuff ‘cause it’s bad for the brain,” Hash replies. 

“C’mon mannn, don’t do this to me, don’t leave me hangin’ man this high gonna be bangin’!” Scooby begs.

“Naw man, my mum would have my throat,” Hash explains.

“Whatever, dude, your loss,” Scooby says as he exits the room.

After being unable to persuade Hash, Scooby decided to call the one person he knew would always be willing to smoke: Shaggy. With little to no persuasion, Scooby had set up for him and Shaggy to smoke this last joint and then trek through the forest as planned.

Ten minutes later, Scooby and Shaggy are ready to endure their journey. They begin their trek at the North end of the forest, closest to Scooby’s house.

It doesn’t take long before they hear “Shape of You” playing in the trees. Dazed and confused, they accompany the music and begin humming to the chorus. All of a sudden, they stumble upon a small table and chairs with little tea cups sitting out along with a glorious mound of food sitting at the center of the table: freshly baked loaves of bread with butter, all kinds of cheeses with crackers, chocolate-covered fruits, loads of magnificent baked sweets, and many more delicious options. Amazed by their choices and struggling to fight the munchies, they dig right into the foods without care. 

At this point, Scooby and Shaggy have cotton mouth so bad they can’t even formulate a sentence, so they both immediately run to the table and chug all of the “tea” cups they see sitting out. As they finish their last sips, they collapse to the stiff ground and go numb throughout their bodies. At first, Scooby and Shaggy believe that the weed hit them just a bit more than usual, but they find out soon after that was not the case. They lay on the damp, leafy ground laughing uncontrollably for what feels like ages before Shaggy finally says.

“Scoob?” Shaggy asks with worry in his voice.

“Yeah, Raggy,” Scooby replies.

“I mean, I think we might have outdone ourselves with this one man,” Shaggy suggests.

“Naw, I don’t think so, Rag,” Scooby says reassuringly.

“Alright, man, if you say so,” Shaggy says before closing his eyes. 

Scooby and Shaggy lie lifeless on the ground, still chuckling and about to lose consciousness because they are so crossed. As Scooby is about to close his final eye, he sees a blurry man with orange hair standing above his head, strumming his guitar as he hums the chorus of his famous song “Perfect.” 

Without knowing, Scooby planned to trek through the forest that’s highly haunted by a psychotic man with orange hair, Ed Sheeran. Ed has taken the lives of many young children who venture into the forest, not knowing he’s there. He will lure the children in by setting up an innocent-looking “tea” party and inviting them to join him. Once together, the children sip on what they think is tea, but they soon find out it’s not. Before they arrived, Ed spiked all their drinks with potent alcohol that made them instantly black out after the first sip. Then, he leads his blacked-out victims back to his hidden palace and feeds them to his army of vicious leprechauns.

After a whole week of being knocked out, Scooby and Shaggy are finally awoken by loud screaming coming from a distant place. As Scooby tries to wiggle himself up from what he thinks is the ground, he finds himself unable to gather the strength to do so. Instead, he gazes around the room that he and Shaggy lie in. As he focuses in on his surroundings, he realizes that he is not on the ground like he thought but instead, he and Shaggy are strapped to the side of a massive platform attached to the wall. Looking around he first noticed the variety of frightful weapons and torture devices hanging on the walls: battle axes, horseman’s picks, battle hammers, daggers, military forks, flamethrowers, and slingshots. Along with all these weapons, rusty metal cages hung from the ceiling above containing the hundreds of decaying children. The children screamed in horror at Scooby but he still did not have the strength to develop any words. He tried and tried to say something, anything but he still could not. He began to feel very dizzy again and it wasn’t long after he fell back to a deep sleep. 

It’s only a little while before Scooby is awoken yet again from his deepest sleep. This time when he opens his eyes he sees someone very familiar standing right in front of him, Ed Sheeran. Very confused about what was happening, Scooby was finally able to mumble out a few words. 

“Mhere mem my?” Scooby mumbles out.

“You’re where you’re going to spend the rest of your life,” Ed says with an evil laugh.

Scooby glanced over his shoulder to the sight of a horseman’s pick launching towards him going the speed of 130 miles per hour.