There she goes. You watch as she walks by. If she saw you she’d say hi, and you would’ve too. But you don’t. You don’t know why, you love her. But something inside shouts for quiet, for peace. You continue walking, wishing you still had those earbuds that stopped working. The inner peace that music could give you. Oh, if only it could be described in words. The way it relates, the solace, the emotion, the sadness. You’ve heard the words play over and over in your head, the song was too good to forget, but you wonder why it felt so close. Was it because you live the lyrics? How could you ever know for sure? Your brain urges you to find an answer, but stops you too. Knowing could ruin you. If only you could shake it from your mind and live like the thought never happened. Like that one sentence didn’t trigger those emotions, like you never felt that way at all. But you can’t stop thinking about it. It plagues your mind and your soul, tearing the corners off bit by bit until it gets to the core. If only you knew how to stop it. Stop it from moving through you. But it festers, rises up and chokes you. It won’t stop at nothing to get at you. Just the thought makes you want to leave. Stay locked away. Maybe being locked in a tower isn’t so bad after all. The peace you would get there. Or would they find you torn apart on the floor? Dismembered from your own thoughts? The same ones you want to get away from. Did the ample time, the loneliness, the longing get to you? Tear you apart until you could no longer think? Could you no longer take it? But you avoid that, knowing the damage it could cause. Wet eyes, rosy cheeks, tired heart. You look down at your phone. Maybe someone I like posted something cool on Instagram. It's just something to numb it, like a drug. But what are you doing? She’s yours (at least that’s what she told you) and there’s nothing to be afraid of. You’re overreacting again. If only that brain would be quiet. Obey the plea from somewhere in your heart. But it can’t. It’s like the dark sea. Large, noisy waves crashing, dragging you under to the place you were trying to avoid. Inevitable drowing down in the depths. Nothing you can do now, it’s already happening. You struggle to flap up to the surface and more and more water piles on top of you, pushing you down. You look below you, at the dark. It’s inviting you, saying it’ll be comforting. Saying it’ll be relaxing. You stop squirming for a second and your eyes add to the water dragging you down. Maybe it’s not so bad. The song keeps playing as you fall away.

“They say that time heals everything

Well, I know the pain, honey, that love can bring

It don’t get no better with each passing day

Every hope I had, slowly slipping away”