Hitting a deer can be a dangerous and daunting task.  You may begin to wonder how to do it properly, reducing the risks of injuries to yourself and the deer in question. If you follow these steps, the task of hitting a deer will become easier and second nature. Before attempting to hit a deer, evaluate the vehicle you are in. Will the deer land on the hood when it is hit, or will the deer stay relatively in front? The vehicle should sit higher off the ground, like a Ford Ranger with standard factory size tires. If the vehicle sits higher than a Ranger, you are still in good shape. Now evaluate the vehicle’s color. Deer have a deep attraction to sky blue and blueish green combination. The sky blue works most effectively, but the blueish green works in a pinch. The vehicle should also lag in braking time.

Now that the vehicle is all set, check the weather and time of day. It should be between seven and nine o’clock at night. While driving, it should be extremely foggy with fog lights becoming necessary but ineffective. After the driving conditions are met, the place to drive becomes critical.

Deer love to step out onto 372 in the conditions described above. Specifically, they love to walk out between Old Pinnacle Road/River Road and Crystal Drive. The truck pull off is a surefire sign that deer are close.

It is now time to drive and hit a deer. Make sure your lights are on low beam when you get close to the pull off, and fasten your seat belt. When you see the first deer cross the road heading to the pull off and turn around, assume he will stay put, but still slow down to about forty miles per hour. The deer will then walk out in front of you, clip him on the right side of your vehicle, while slowing down. Attempt to come to a complete stop, however, your vehicle will still be moving, pushing the deer in the road. Make sure that during the process, you either yell, scream, or start shouting expletives. Once at a complete stop, the Buck will lumber up and calmly walk off in the direction he was headed. Pull off to the side of the road and turn on your emergency flashers. Next, call your father to estimate the damage and driveability of your vehicle then call your work and let them know you will be late to the mandatory meeting. All in all, you will have a repeat performance two weeks later, but will handle the situation slightly better.